Saturday, September 29, 2007

This road less traveled is deserted.

Ok I'm alittle emotional. It's getting close. I can see him in my dreams. I see him when I close my eyes. I see him when I wake up in the morning. I dream about him.
I worry about him. I need to get to him already and try and make his life better.
I don't wont to be too late to get him help. I want this to be a happy ending.
I want to one day tell him how sick he was and how he came to the U.S. and had a surgery that changed his life. I want to be looking back on all of this a few years down the road.When he is safe and healthy. I'm scared.
I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing right now. Shots, visas, pills, packing,
worrying, and yet I don't feel like I'm doing enough. Please pray for my emotional side, and if you know me at all you know I have one of those. That I can keep calm and walk this road with Faith and diligence. I don't know how bad off he is but God does and he is in control and he has brought us down this path good or bad and I just have to walk it.... So I lift Joesph Turner up tonight and I pray that he will live and that he will get the help he needs..........

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A phone call.

So Donna called from Acres of Hope. She just wanted me to know that I was not crazy for feeling the way I was now. She said it was normal. We are getting close to travel and my emotions are all over the place. She said alot of things but the one thing that stood out was that when she looked in Joesph's eyes she saw something that you don't see in every kid. He is special. She said he was not complaining and crying and whining he was pleasant. He loves his mama and his daddy. She said they were extraordinary and that this is the best case you could ever hope for in an adoption because he has been loved and cared for and he will miss his parents but it will be easier for him to love us because of the care he has received from them. Gosh, I have to tell you it's hard.
Meeting them will be a pleasure. Can I bring them home with us also? She told me how his hair was so soft and had hints of golden blonde intertwined with the dark. She said he was soo cute.She try ed to hold him but he wouldn't leave his mom.
We did not get an up date on his health as of yet. Please continue to pray for his health...They are meeting tomorrow and we should know alot more by Monday morning.
She said you will for sure travel in October but I can't give you a solid date but we should know more Monday.
Well I'll close for now, I'll write more as I find out.

my hearts in Liberia right now,

Up and down we go....

I'm back sorry for not writing much lately. I have been very busy trying
to get all of our things together so that we can bring Joesph home.
This road is such an emotional roller coaster. One day I say OK I'm not going to
let it consume me. God knows whats going on and I don't have to stay on the clock
twenty four seven. The next moment it seems like I'm going crazy worrying about
Joesph and my shots or my I600a. I have so many things on my mind I can't calm
myself it seems at times. I keep thinking OK this is all happening and everything
is going to be OK. It's just that adoption is such a leap of faith. You have so many
unknowns. You have so many questions about your new child and no-one can answer those
questions for you. You have to find them out on your own as you get to know your new
child. This week I have had shots typhoid fever pills malaria pills and running around trying to get my visa sent off and knowing that the end result will be this child called Joesph who will live with us, eat with us, share a life with us..It will all be worth it. I don't expect him to be this perfect child or even like me at the beginning very much but I do hope he grows to trust me and love me as his mama.I hope more than anything that Joesph has a sense of humor. I hope he can laugh easily and often. I hope he is well soon. I hope his surgery will be a success and he can live a great life with no sickness. But it wont be a perfect life. He will still have hard-ships to over come as we all do. But he will not be alone.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Can I get a high five ...

Today was very productive. We got our shots got our malaria pills and our pass-port
pictures for our visas. The Best news of all though is that INS will expedite our I600a approval so we will be travel ready.....:)
I can't believe all of this got done today.....
No evil side effects from the shots....The yellow fever shot didn't even hurt.
So anyway, just keep praying for us as we try to get everything together on this end.

much love and many blessings,

Saturday, September 22, 2007

shots visa's and pass-ports....

We found out that Joesph's been in the hospital for two weeks.
She said that Patty was working on getting his pass-port now and for
me to be ready to travel.
We still don't know when but she wanted me to be
ready when they found out.So on Monday I have to go
get shots and do the visa things and she said go ahead
and have yours and Jo's bags packed so when I call you
you will just be able to book a ticket and travel.
I have to be honest here. I'm nervous about going to Africa.

I'm nervous about being Joesph's mom. I have huge shoes to
try and fill and I don't think he's going to buy that I'm his mom
right away. He seems determined to make sure she is still around.
Around she is too, taking care of him while he is in the hospital.
She has such devotion for Joesph. It's amazing to me what she must
be going through.She has left him two times and he has gotten sick both
times and she has come back to nurse him back to health both times. She
is determined as well to make sure he gets to the United States for surgery..
I pray I get to meet this incredible woman whose son I will be raising..
Her devotion will be passed down to him and I hope through the years that he
will know how much she did for him and at what cost she gave.She gave it all..

Pray for me because I'm a BIG baby about shots and I have to get three......UGH..

Write more as I find out.


Friday, September 21, 2007

Good or Bad I will hold fast in his promises.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."
Hebrews 10:35-38

Today we found out that Joesph is in the hospital. We also found out that his mom
is the one taking care of him.
My heart wants to be there but I'm thankful that she is there holding him and comforting him. Things I know he would not or could not let me do right now because he does not know me.She knows his adoption is finalized and yet she will see this through till the end. I'm so thankful he has a mother who truly loves him and is willing to put her own needs aside for the needs of our baby Jo.
I will not let my confidence sway. My faith is in Christ. Good or Bad I will worship him and know that he has us in the palm of his hand.
Please say a prayer for Joesph. He gets really sick because of his heart problem and it's very dangerous.

Waiting in his waiting room,

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Saying Goodbye...

Some friends of ours lost their baby yesterday. She was seven months pregnant and
had not felt the baby move..She went to the hospital and the baby had died.
She had a c-section yesterday morning.They never find out what they are having so as
to have a surprise. Well their surprise yesterday was a baby boy whom they named Zion.
Good bye baby Zion.
We never got to meet you but
somehow we will never forget you.
Your tiny body we wont get to hold and
fuss over in church. A empty place on the
pew your supposed to be at will not be filled.
Watching your mommy nurse you and cuddle you and
smile her sweet smile of love and acceptance of you
will be replaced with your parents missing you so much.
Your mom was so beautiful through out your time here on earth
and she was so happy to be carrying you. She glowed with anticipation
of your arrival. Baby Zion good-bye for now but know that one day your daddy
and mommy will see you again and you will get to meet your wonderful brothers and
sisters. Baby Zion born into God's Kingdom...................September 19th,2007

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Why not live a inconvient life?

Why is it we think we should have this perfect life with no hard ships.?
Why when others are going through such a hard time do we think that we don't
want the incovenience of helping others in need or holding the hand of someone
who is hurting.Why do we look over special needs children because they might interfere
in our life? They might Cause us to much hardship or work? Too much of a burden for our family. We want the easiest life possible.
May God forgive us for not making life easier for others and only worrying about our
on comfort.May he continue to bring families to help special needs children.

2 Corinthians 8:13-15 (Contemporary English Version)

I am not trying to make life easier for others by making life harder for you. But it is only fair for you to share with them when you have so much, and they have so little. Later, when they have more than enough, and you are in need, they can share with you. Then everyone will have a fair share, just as the Scriptures say, "Those who gathered too much had nothing left. Those who gathered only a little had all they needed."

Friday, September 14, 2007

God's Dryer!

Ok so Im not sure why but on this adoption journey every major applicance has gone
out..The lastest being my dryer. I hung up 4 clothes lines on my screened in back porch.God has been so meriful to me and dryed all my clothes for the past 3 days.
There is something about your clothes being lined up and blowing in the wind...
I love the way they smell. I love the old fashionedness of it.....
I will count it all joy.!!Can't you see me smile..

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Small Actions

As time is made up of moments, so life is made up of many small actions whose greatness lies in their combination" This is a quote from Alfred Edersheim, a 19th century scholar. Our lives are so made up of small actions...I want to thank you Robin for always having that vision for the future and never getting caught up in the tedium of the moment. God so graced my life with you as my wife. The only person in His Creation that could walk beside me thru life and experience things the way we both do. Your vision and your bravery and your undaunting willingness to do Gods will always inspires me. Your many small actions in my life have brought me to such a greater appreciation of life and love, Thank You my beautiful bride.

Love from your adoring husband,

September 12, 2007 9:04 PM

Will they remember the rides in my back seat..

I wonder if in my kids memories they will remember being in my back seat?
I know one day when I look in my rear view mirror I will be shocked to find it empty.
My house is so full my table is running over and my car is packed..all the seats taken. Somehow we always assume it will always be that way. When you have alot of little diapers to change and
alot of little shoes to find you get caught up in thinking you have along time with these little souls. Some of my best times with my children is in the car. Being able to talk with them and sing with them...We all sing really loud and we repeat our favorite songs over and over. When I look in my rear view mirror I see fights I have to stop I see smiles that seem to never stop. I see tears. I see sleeping heads. I see eyes that look at me with so much love I don't deserve. I see
brothers and sisters who are trying to grow up and be their own person. I see the sweetest brown eyes and I know I'm real close to heaven. So what do you see in your rear view mirror?
I pray it's a car load of beautiful children. One seat is empty in my car though and I can't wait to see those familiar eyes staring at me from his car-seat. I know he will be singing our songs and we will be singing his before long..

much love,

Monday, September 10, 2007

Our trip to the smokey mountains.

Well we are back from a quick trip to the mountains. It was so good to get away.
We stayed in these great little cabins tucked back in the woods with a creek all around us so
the kids could inner tube and play in the water. I love being away and no interruptions from
the real world..We could not take a big trip this year because we are trying to save all the
money we can for our adoption of Joesph. It's funny how your priority's come right into focus when you realize you will need to make sacrifices to make this adoption thing happen..Our family voted on it when we first started talking about adoption and we all agreed that the blessing of a new life in our family was more important than more trips or more stuff..
We talked alot about baby Jo and how he is going to feel coming into our life.
We got a chance to let it sink in that our adoption is finalized in Africa and we should be traveling to get him by the end of next month.
I can't believe I'm going to Africa to bring back alittle boy.Whew it's a feeling you can't explain..

Thanks for your prayers and support,

Sunday, September 9, 2007

What I see

So when you look into his eyes what do you see? I see my child. I see a son full of hope and promise.
I see a little baby sad and at the same time a pair of eyes who are calling out to me.
I see a little guy who God willing will call me "mama" one day. I see a hint of what he
is going to be like when I hold him for the first time. I see someone who is going to bring joy
and love into our home. I see him like I see my first ultra-sound picture of the kids. I study to
make out every limb, every crease. I see hope in his eyes. I see promise..I see a future to be
a great man of God.
I don't see color when I look at Joesph Turner. I know that sounds strange. For us the very fact
that we are adopting an African child has been an issue for so many yet when I look at him I don't see color. I see my son Joesph Turner and I see a gift from God.....

Please say a pray for Joesph that God would keep him healthy and safe..


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Friday, September 7, 2007

We Woke up to some BIG news...

I was still half asleep this morning when Scott came in and said " we got an e-mail from Donna."
I could tell it was good news from the tone of his voice..The e-mail said that Jo's adoption
is finalized .. and they have applied for his pass-port.......and.......he is in the special needs orphanage.
He was staying some where else and now he is under the care of AOH..Whew alot of news in a small e-mail..She also said he was soooooooooooo cute..My mind was trying to take all of that in and I said "well now he is a White" and Cooper who is 5 looked at me with a side ways confused look and said " now Joesph's white?"
I feel as though I have been on a roller coaster ride these past few weeks..
My emotions have been up and down. I try and keep them in the middle but it's so hard to do.
Scott said well think of it this way your 7 months pregnant and you found out the baby has a heart defect and will need surgery when he is born.
I guess that's close....

Well we're off to go camping this weekend so pray for us as we spend alittle time together before
our world gets alittle bigger.....



Thursday, September 6, 2007

Working for a living..

Teaching our boys to love to work has been one of the neatest things I think I've ever done.
You start with this little guy who can barely stand and you teach him to empty the trash cans.
You go with him from room to room and let him carry the garbage cans and say "Oh what strong muscles you have." He just beams.....As they get alittle older I give them another job. Maybe watering my plants and doing the garbage.. They love feeling strong and needed around the house. I get the kids in on potty training also. Getting coop to read books to Cullen while he is on the potty. It helps the bond between them They help each other and I insist they have a good attitude. After all they will have to work to provide for their family so having a good attitude about it will help them in the long run.
It takes time to train our children but it is so worth it... I love seeing my kids feeling confident.
Our boys need us to train them up to be Great Men....Teach them to pray and when daddy is gone say"Tuck your the oldest boy will you pray for us." Give them them a great respect for their dad..."your dad works so hard for us." One day when you have a family you will need to know how to work hard for your family... Teach the older ones to help train the younger ones.. I always say "Cullen protect your sister."
I know he can't right now but It's the planting of little seeds. One day he will be able to protect her..When she falls down I will say" Coop go hold her and tell her it's ok" Teaching compassion.
I never thought you taught compassion but now I know you do...
Training Children : It's a full time job...Some days are good and some days you just have to laugh. Things get broken Things get lost. Time goes on. They do grow up....I'm seeing proof to that. Taylor is 14 and Tucker is 12... Take everyday to teach them the importance of family.....

many blessings,

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Time for School....

Rock Hill Village- It is a sight you would never forget if you get a chance to see it. Women and children pounding rocks into gravel to sell so that they can have a bowl of rice at the end of the day. And that is if they sell it that day. Men are working there too to try and provide for their families. It takes them 7 hours to make 40cents. Unbelievable!
We toured the one school that was there. If you can call it that. The roof leaks and is falling in. The benches that they write at are torn up so bad that the kids cannot write at them. The Black board is a a chunk of cardboard with black board paint painted on it to have some sort of semblance of a bl. board.
Can you imagine if your child attended this school? That is if you can afford to send them there. I am posting some pictures for you to see. (will post pics when I get home) Compare the kindergarten room to the one your or even my child will attend this year. This community needs our help. AoH will be posting soon on how you can help make a difference. These children need to have an education and a future not a pile of rocks as their only means to survive.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Teaching Love.

Teaching our Children to truly Love during Good times and Bad times is a real challenge I face.
They like it when everything is going "good". They Love their siblings when they are happy.
What about when everyone is grumpy? When someone is sick? When someone is having a "bad day." That is the perfect opportunity to teach them that life is not always full of UPS. There are bad times and you have to Love at all times even when it's hard......I'm afraid they learn this through me and my own weakness. I also have to keep reminding myself that Love is a decision and not a feeling.......

This is borrowed from anothers blog but I loved what it said.
Who and what we truly are is really reflected by whether we love and accept others just as they are, right where they are.

"I tell my boys that they can appear all sorts of things to others, but who they truly are to their siblings/family is what they really are~

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not think it is better than someone else.

It does not gossip.

It does not gossip even under the names of "being concerned" or "needs prayer."

It does not try to change, control, manipulate, pressure, dictate, insist. It does not judge, condemn, look down upon.

It does not seek it's own way. It does not use others. Love does not try to make a name for itself.

Love is not self-righteous. Love is not jealous. Love does not compare one to another.

Love does not threaten with words or attitudes.

Love doesn't use the "silent treatment." Love isn't in your face either."

If I can teach my children but one thing..To Love...
We get so stressed teaching our children to do math
We get so worked up teaching our children to read
But if we can teach our children to "Love at all times"
we have taught them something that God said is the
most important.

So many times I've heard people say "their too young to teach
compassion. " I will teach them manners when they get older.
I will teach them to respect authority when they know whats going
on. My kids are to young to help out . My kids can't change a diaper.
Hold a sick brother. Help make a meal for someone who needs it.
When should you start teaching your children to love...There is no magic
age you should begin, it should just always be there...Teaching, loving,learning.
It should start from the beginning.The day their born. I'm still learning to
Love unconditonaly. I'm thankful for God's grace in my life...

May we each find unconditional love today and may we each
give unconditional love today and always..

building memories.


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