Our little Flower going out further than she did last year and the waves pounding and she drawing breath and coming to the top. She is so beautiful, inside and out, and this time of slowing down and being with her and making her laugh and seeing the gap in between her two front teeth dawning on me that she is become quite the young lady. God has given her such a joy. A sweetness, if you would allow me to say, that often makes me examine myself. She is kind and spending hours with her on this beach helps me to recognize what it is I like about her. I like the way she treats her daddy. The joy of love and protection she feels is almost dramatized but she is the real deal and her love so lavished upon him that it truly reminds me to love more. To love him more. She holds him close and with such abandonment that I draw in and watch her slip into his lap and him seeming to not even notice. He gently gathers her and they sit as he talks. She lays her head on his chest and I see her eyes close and smell his shirt. Her daddy's smell. The age where she loves the very smell of him. She stays and then jumps down and run the soles off her feet.
As Taylor and I spend time talking and walking these sandy paths I'm reminded of her vulnerability. The age of wonder. Wonders of life ahead and learning to be content in the here and now. Hard combinations when you look to the future with great expectations. When you look out to sea and wonder what it is the Lord has in store for you without missing the day He has so graciously given. We have raised her to think ahead. To wonder...To dream and so it does not surprise me, but her tender heart does. The wonderings floating around, needing to be talked about. We talk.... These precious moments of time that she is all mine and I get to giggle and make up her future. Her prince charming whom she thinks will never come, I remind her that he's out there but she shakes her head and says, " No, I'm not so sure Mom." Silly girl...He will come one day and you will be leaving...but I don't tell her that. I let her believe that her days will be lived out under my roof. I tell her it won't be that bad. She says, "Yeah, it will be fun living with you forever".
I like aggravating her like that..It's what I'm here for.
But just in case you are her prince charming, she is ready for you...What's taking you so long?
In April my darling husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. We renewed our vows on the beach with flowers, cake, and candles. We celebrated because we want our children to know how very much we loved each other on the day we married but we want them to KNOW how very beautiful marriage is 20 years of page turns later. Our marriage life not been one of ease or comfort but one that has called Scott to be a courageous leader. He had to lead because God put us in situations that only Scott could lead us out of. Difficult years? yes, there has been a few. Years of dying to self and wishing and praying I didn't have to. When as a family we decided to stand for God we went through, and continue to go through, fire a lot of times... but we do so together. This man that stands beside me is my beloved and he leads because he knows he has a sense of duty to our family but he leads with a gentleness that pierces the hardest places and makes them an easier road. So we celebrate so that even though our children will never know what our first wedding was like they will be able to say that they helped celebrate every other one. I want their memories of sticking it out to be pressed in hard. The world will tell you to strip away from your marriage if it doesn't suit you anymore...but what does the Lord say? He says you stay and you rise up, oh man of God, and you be faithful to the wife of your youth and I will be found faithful. My hubby is not a perfect man and he didn't arrive riding on a white horse, his horse had dings, but he has turned into one of the finest. He is about the business of making sure as I grow older that I know he loves me more then the day we met. Myself a lot of times not liking the over 40 look. He assuring me that my beauty has increased. Sweet man! I love growing old next to him. It's almost painless. :)
I never feel like I don't measure up or that I should feel self conscious at the new wrinkle line...I feel he loves me unconditional and no one has ever loved me like that before nor will there be another. So as we stood in front our children our prayer is that none of our children will ever experience divorce.
They will break the curse of divorce with God's help. Bold prayers for an ordinary couple but God said ask. So we're not just asking, we're banging on His back door. Pleading with Him.
My Beloved whom the Lord gave