Sunday, March 12, 2017

Life happens

This is what happens when you blink. The Legs grow long and the wrinkles come. Time slips into the very fabric of your soul and you never realize she's there until some random number takes you by surprise. Like 25. We've been married 25 years and although that number seems outrageous it really has just flown by. Our journey of living and struggling together has kept us busy and time has worked her way into our life.

The girls have all done lots of growing. I wish I could fully describe the balance between these four sisters. Each one waking up to her own self and trying to find out where they fit in this great big world. As their mama I'm trying to find that balance that we're all looking for,  protection without being over protective. I have failed miserably over the years looking for balance but I think we all do. It really is just an ebb and flow.  I have over parented and under parented over the years and neither was done intentionally but we all tend to parent out of our fears or our areas of pride. I tended to over parent out of a response of my own parents under parenting its a crazy cycle but as I get older and figure out that I'm human and my parents were human and the only parents who do it right, don't exist.
It's all God's grace. No effort of ours stands. It all becomes rubble, only what He does will be carried to the next generation. This doesn't mean we don't try, it just means there is no magic formula that we can follow.
I know its not easy in those middle years when you're no longer a baby but you're not grown up either. I spend lots of time trying to show them that the Lord has made them uniquely special and wonderful. I know that each day with them is such a treasure and I truly try to have a great balance and some days I do and that would be considered a very, very, good day.

All the guys have shot up and changed so much.  They all sleep in twin beds in our downstairs and between the football and wrestling there is always craziness. I love having sons and seeing the men that they're growing into, always shocks me some.  The love they show me is over the top but I know that one day they'll transfer that love to their brides and so I take it all now while I have it. It's funny how it works like that but it does. You know that you will always love them and they will always love you but it changes when they leave, as it should, but goodness when your first babies leave it kinda takes you by surprise. If you have one that is leaving be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve and time get used to the new. None of us have it figured out and its different for each family but I think the closer you are the harder the leaving comes.

Scott and I have been very hard at work over these last 25 years having babies, raising babies making mistakes and doing some good things and all the while trying to keep our marriage a priority. It's just hard y'all but everyday we strive to do something to keep our marriage alive. Some days that might mean a walk around the farm or just a quick cup of coffee.  Other days it might be taking a week out and spending time a way. Life wants you to forget your purpose and our purpose as Christians Is to glorify the Lord and love Him forever and then to love one another. As a couple with lots of children it's more important then ever we don't forget why we were created.  We can get so caught up in the busyness of life that we forget. Our marriages have to be put first after Christ and it may take years but if you don't put your marriage before the kids it will show up sooner or later. So celebrate life together. Don't forget to act silly ,take dance class, keep a hobby that you both love and most importantly have adult friends that you can do life with. We often neglect this but so many times over the years I've been so lonely even though I was surrounded by a boat load of kids.
If you're a mama you know what I mean. Loneliness in the midst of chaos.  
We need adult friends to laugh with and share life's troubles with. Our friends help keep us balanced and give us a safe place to land when we need a break.

I'm out of practice writing. Please forgive me as I slowly come back to the place I love.

blessings from the farm,


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...