Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What a Mother Must Sacrifice....

Houses may be bought, built, or borrowed.

But homes can only be made, and that with bits of ourselves.

Or so the ducks told me.

They told me without a sound, just simply as they preened and nestled, a painting, oil on canvas. The children press in close too, for a better look at Alexander Max Koester’s painting Ducks, and I read aloud the caption below the brushes of color.

“Mother ducks pick feathers from their chests to line their nests.”

Houses may be bought, built, or borrowed.

I pause and the children gaze thoughtfully at a clutch of plump white, blizzard of feathers fallen down. But it’s those words that mesmerize me: “pick feathers from their chests, to line their nests.”

Eyes fixed on a duck breast puffed, mother plunging beak in deep, I question wondering self: “How else did you think nests were lined?”

With leftovers. With feathers discarded, the molted, the not-so-necessary feathers. I thought mother ducks picked feathers up from what was laying about, scraps, lining nests with what simply could be mustered after the fact.

But no. (Is that only the way of human mothers?) No, a mother duck plucks each feather out from the heart of her bosom, warm and soft.

She lines the nest with bits of herself. The best of her, from the deep spots.

She cups her young in her sacrifice.

Children pull at the corner of the page, anxious to see the next painting, and, reluctantly, I move on. But for weeks, part of me lives among Koester’s ducks.

Days later, I am scrubbing out the arches of muffin tins after breakfast, the clock ticking insufferably loud in my ears, time running down. Children need books and learning, and I’m tuned for the expected chime of the doorbell, a service personnel’s scheduled visit. And the words rise near to the surface, “I don’t have time for this! No muffins tomorrow morning!”


The words sharply sink. And I, learning, line this nest with a feather. Not a leftover. But one decidedly plucked. The service man meets me with muffin tins still in the sink, and a circle of happy young. Whose tummies next morning fill with another batch of muffins. I will make time.

As the sun’s perfect globe of glow sets nears the horizon, these boys, glint in eyes, recalibrate vacuum cleaner to fire socks. Weary, I have food to find, laundry awaiting escort, math sheets to mark.

They fire sock cannons.

And I Pluck.

Bellies jiggle, peals of giggles, as old mother chases after future men, wrestling them down, tying them up in tickles. We warm here in laughter. It feels good, wild and alive. So again they fire, and again I pluck with feathers of my time, bits of me, and we pile high, one atop the other, nesting down into sacrifice, soft and small.

Some feathers for this nest, the parts of me and time I have sacrificed, have hurt, pain of the plucking lingering long. But why speak of the details? And was it really sacrifice, or just this too-tender skin? It’s done, it was necessary, it was for something better. Some nights, when all sleep, I feel along the hidden bald patches.

There are times, too many, when they call, “Read me a story?” “Wanna play a game with me?” “Can you come help me?”

And this mother refuses to pluck. Something, some task, someone (me?), rates as more pressing, more important. I deem our nest acceptable just as it is. I don't want to sacrifice more of me.

Then comes the pecking, the scratching, the squawking. With feather lining wearing thin, the nest chafes hard. We hurt and cry. Nests need feathers deep.

Someone must pluck.

When will I learn that down sacrificed settles and soothes?

For scraps won’t suffice. Snippets of time, leftover me, a trinket, a diversion, tossed.

Mother ducks don’t line nests with feathers, dirty and trampled, the molted and unnecessary. Why would I? Nests need feathers fresh, warm with mother’s life.

Night descends and calls children to dreams. I lead them to their bed-gate, arms and legs under quilts worn from the ride. I read stories, stroke hair, say prayers. Prayers to Him who plucked hard from His own heart.

A sacrifice, staggering and true, for love of His very own. We learn love from His laid down.

Tired heads nestle into pillows, pillows of down.

On feathers plucked, we rest.

Lord, help me today to pluck, to lay down my life for others. Like You did.

As I read these words the guilt came over me in small ways.
What have I lined my nest with.
Left-over feathers or the best warmed feathers from my best
time or my best days..Do I do 'my' thing first and then give
my precious children the left over feathers? The ugly feathers
the tired dirty worn-out feathers?
Oh I'm afraid I have thought so highly of myself and 'my' things.
The Lord has been so gracious to me..He has glued my old worn out
dirty feathers in place with his sweet forgiveness and love. He
fills in those bare spots in my nest...He gives my children a tender
heart toward their Mommy, oh I'm so thankful for new days new beginnings
and new perspectives...
Is my nest deep enough? Is my nest soft and cuddly or is worn and bare?

I took the duck story from holy experience

Monday, August 25, 2008

Three bad boys on the loose...

This morning my three year old Cullen gets out of bed and comes into the kitchen and
this is what I see...I said "Cullen what happend to you" His response was " mom dese
fwee bad boys did it."

So if your a mom out there be on the look out for fwee bad boys on the loose....
They could be coming to your town next........................................

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Remembering Who We Are

1st Peter says we are aliens in a strange land.

As Christians if we can focus on three principles we can get thru this life...

1. We are sinners and as such we should not expect anything good. We deserve to
suffer the consequences of sin. This truth should humble us and give us

2. We have been given a gift, the gift of eternal life, thru grace, not thru our own
works, again...this should make us humble but also give us hope and make us

3. We are only visitors in this world for a short time. Faith and hope tells us that
we are destined for a greater abode. This should give us perspective and allow us
to have a "bigger" view of every day life. This truth alone should make our
spirits soar, no matter what life brings us...we are promised HEAVEN!

As Christians, if we are not experiencing the freedom that the above three truths allow us, it is time we focused on who we are and why we are here.

We have to BELIEVE that Jesus Christ is the son of God ...
even the demons know that truth,

BUT WE MUST FOLLOW HIM... that means obeying His commands and learning about His desire for our lives. Which can only happen when we study His word, the Holy Bible.

If you are not a Christian, I urge you to be look deep inside your own heart and seek God. The book of Romans tells us that all men have a knowledge of God,... if only they would seek Him instead of their own selfish and ultimately destructive pursuits.

God Bless and good night


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Our social worker called last night and there seems to be a problem
with some paper work on the baby's end.
Its disappointing but God's timing is PERFECT!!!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


"Without God's providence nothing falls out in the world;
without his commission nothing stirs; without his blessing
nothing prospers."
This saying, properly understood, believed, and acted on, would tend to keep
our minds quiet under the many things that occur to ruffle them, and would encourage a habit of constant prayer, since nothing can hurt him who has God for his friend,-nothing can, finally, be a blessing to him who has God for his enemy.
"The blessing of God, it maketh rich. and he addeth no sorrow with it."
Success is God's blessing on a good cause, his curse on a bad one.

Though they sometimes seem to cross, in reality they are in perfect harmony.
Jacob said in haste, All these things are against me;
but a few days proved that all these things were working together for his good,-to restore to him
his long-lost son, and to bring about the fulfilment of God's promises concerning his posterity..

We were due to have a baby in 2 1/2 weeks and through God's providence we lost our child in March......
We have reason to believe that through God's providence we have a adopted child
ready to come into our family..(we will know more tomorrow)So close to our original
due date...I believe this child whomever it is was meant to be in our family...
Sometimes His ways we do not understand but He works it together for our good.

Keep checking back I'll up date as we find out....

Friday, August 8, 2008

"What about socialization?"

If you homeschool, you have been asked this...or presented with this argument. I have always answered this in a mild non conflictory(new word) manner. Things like "well we are around a lot of other homeschool kids, we are involved in a lot of extracurricular activities, etc etc"

Not any more.....I no longer think that way.

If you have the cojone's to ask me that question, then you should hear the true answer, not some watered down "lets all just get along" answer.


{new friend}"You guys homeschool?, I know some people that do that, one of the reasons that we never tried it was because we want our kids to be socialized,"

{me} "Really? what exactly are you saying? Do you mean that I should be allowing my 15 year old daughter to be under the 5 day a week 7 hours a day influence of a government that has made it illegal to pray to God, to worship Jesus, in public? does socialization mean I should allow my daughter to be vaccinated as early as the age of NINE years old for a virus that is spread through SEX? Is that what you mean by socialization?......

OK I probably would not say that...but I do think it.

Point number 2....most of the people who might ask me this question are Christians. I WILL ask them to point out to me in the Bible where God commanded me to "socialize my kids"

God did say to "train up a child" ... he didn't say "it takes a village"

Most Christians would say that their children are a light in the dark world. That is the reason they send them to a state run public institution. Hide them under a bushel "NO" I'm gonna let them shine....

Well since most of the kids in my part of the country are "Christian" that argument doesn't hold water.

Why don't you enroll them in a muslim or hindu school?

I don't believe is a load of crap. Get real and tell the truth, the reason you don't homeschool is because of YOUR own selfishness. You want little JR to be a big football star, "he can learn leadership skills out on the field" Sure he can, but is that why he is there?

Little Princess is a member of all of the school clubs, and she is at all of the church youth functions.... where is your heart in this matter Mom and Dad? Is your pride in her involvement or in her ability to be a God fearing and God obeying young lady?

Socialization is code word for what? In political circles it is one step away from red blooded american wants to be a socialist....
I know ... that's not what we are talking about.

Are my kids socialized? My Little Princess is 15, she rooms with her 2 year old sister, she helps teach her 6 year old brother and her three year old brother, she helps to train and instruct and discipline (gasp! another politically incorrect about that later) her 2 year old sister and her 2 year old brother.

She interacts daily with people from our neighborhood, from our grocery stores, our post office, she goes to work with her Dad one day a week as part of her education,

but all of this is done under the protection of her mother and me her Dad.
Recently, in a fun way she was chided as being raised in a protected environment, you know what? that person was right...she is being protected from the world, because even tho we are in it we are not of it.. 1st Peter says we are aliens in a strange country.

Back to the point...."What about socialization"

Do you ever wonder why a guy like Dave Ramsey has taken off like a wildfire? Especially among the Christian community? Why are so many parents struggling to make ends meet? Both parents work, only 2 kids, "we can't afford anymore"....

We can't afford more kids because we have too many new "things" cars, boats, houses, etc. Dave Ramsey is successful because most americans are in debt....

what has this got to do with socialization? when JR and Little Princess are in a state controlled institution they are subjected to the constant temptation to break the commandment "Thou shalt not covet"....

"Suzie has a cell phone, she said her Daddy would feel better about her being out at night if she could call him {ring ring ring"Daddy I want you to give me some advice, these friends that I go to church with want me to do......( you fill in the blank) what do you say?) would that conversation take place? NO.....Little Princess would "never call Daddy" in the middle of a social crisis for advice. So why the cell phone? more socialization

Why do we think there is very little difference in the percentage of divorces in churched people and in non churched people? has socialization worked? are we a light? or are we drowning in the darkness?

Debt, divorce, sexual sins like adultery, fornication, whether same sex or opposite sex, the Bible calls it all an abomination. Why do these things continue to balloon?

One word....socialization

It's time we took on the responsibility of raising our children to fear and to love God....and stop giving our children up to be indoctrinated by the money loving self promoting idea of socialization

This is a late night post by Scott...


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