You see our world has got some things wrong, in my opinion.
We can be obsessed with football.
We can be obsessed with shoes.
We can be obsessed and love running.
We can be obsessed with our dogs and taking trips.
We can be obsessed with Facebook and our phones.
We can be obsessed with college.
some people think it's strange when you're obsessed with your children.
(in a loving normal kinda way)
In John 3;16 it says
For God So loved the world He gave His only Son.
He So loved.
Oh those words pierce me..
We sing about How much He loves us and adores us and forgives us
and runs after us.
How He sent His only son to die for us.
He So loved.
I try and live with the no regret policy for my life, I have So loved my family.
(Believe me I still have my own regrets because I'm not perfect.. only God is)
I So love them.
After 21 years that doesn't stop or lessen. I am that mom who
makes thick pallets and lays with you when you're sick.
I make over you and I pray over you and I make your favorite meals
and drive miles just to get you anything you need or want.
I pour myself out because at the end of the day, nothing I do is as important to me as ..
I love big.
I'm not lying
I just do
and I can't change that, nor do I want to.
I want my children to love the Lord and have good, happy child-hood memories and that they
can say home was the sweetest place ever.
I want them to remember that their home smelled good with stuff baking.
It was comfy with blankets on beds passed down by grandmas.
It was a resting place when you were sick.
It was loud and crazy and most of all
SO loved them.
I So love them.Every stinking thing about each of them. Yeah, they have their faults but you know what? So do I and we forgive each other and we live this life together piled up like puppies. I am the creator of their child-hood...I hold in my hand the key to making their memories good or bad. (N.d. Wilson) Guess what, I choose good. I choose to be the screaming cheerleader.. being their biggest fan.
I know, more than ever now, that these precious years fade and the telling of stories and butterflies and flag football days out in the yard are taken over by 'real life.
You can't fix their world with muffins and blankets anymore.
They're in real life and all you can do is walk beside them
and a lot of times pray to the One who loves them more.
So much more than we do.
but the ones I have at home.
I can teach them how to navigate deep waters and adore them and
So love them ...
and I do.
I find them so fascinating, like what is she thinking? We're studying Timothy and how to have a content life ..Shes taking notes in her journal. I am silent. She just simply takes my breathe away.
She is 8 years old and she knows nothing except contentedness. She wakes up happy and goes to bed sleepy and looks at you as you tuck her in and wraps her arms around you and says
"I love you mama"
I love the way Joe kisses me right on the lips. Every single time. None of the other kids do this
they kiss me on the forehead or on the cheek but Joe he goes for the lips. I love the way this guy loves football. You can ask him what team is ranked where and he can spit out the numbers like a talk show host. Joe what's Alabama ranked? "3" What about Texas A&M? ...etc
I love the way Ellie holds dough and the way her voice is the small voice of an angel.
she never speaks louder than a whisper.
I have to lean in and pull her close.
She loves the kitchen and when I'm in there she is there.
I love the way Cullen says "bless your heart" and the way he still makes a heart
with his hands and gets my attention.
Finger Heart staring at me.
He has a very soft heart and when we talk about what his life is going to look
like when he grows up he talks about being a pastor.
His big concern is counseling people who are going through hard times.
He said "but what if I cry."
Oh Cullen then cry because sometimes people just need you to cry with them.
I love the way Josie still sucks her thumb and rest her pointer finger on top of her nose.
( and yes I know shes five..)
She is funny and loud. She is not afraid to do new things and she takes cares
of her sister. When Ellie is nervous about trying something new it's Josie who reaches over
and grabs her hand as if to say "we got this".
I love the way Cooper says hey beautiful to his sisters.
The way he opens my car door. I love the way he reads Proverbs to his brothers almost every night.
He is not a risk taker he is a very steady stable guy, so when
he drove the farm truck up to shut our gates, he came back, it was
dark and he parked next to a tree and a tree limb went right through the back pop out window.
He calmly came in our room and said "dad can I talk to you."
Well of course I knew that was his way of making sure I didn't get upset.
He takes Scott outside and shows him the damage. They came back in and told me and being the aged parents that we are we didn't freak out. Because we have freaked out in the past but we realized we have nothing of worth besides this family. We have had things broken and lost over the years to the point of we don't have much left that we get real uptight about and we grew weary of caring more about the things instead of about the lesson behind the things.
We learned a secret. Things can be re-bought.
My brand new Williams and Sonoma waffle maker laying on cement can break your heart but only if you don't look in the eyes of the one little boy who is scared and wondering in that moment are you gonna love him anyway.
I loved that waffle- maker. I could make 4 big fluffy waffles at one time, but I love that browned eyed little boy who feels horrible and is picking up the pieces of that waffle maker and saying
mama I can fix it.
So Much more.
back to Cooper though
We said well you owe us a window. It was an accident but you have to earn the money to pay for the window.
So on Saturday morning when everyone else is watching football he is sitting on a bucket cleaning our white fence in the front yard.
The reason he's working for a window is because we love him
and because life is always gonna throw a branch in his path and we can't fix his problems.
Did I mention their eyes
the way they laugh out loud during a movie
the way they love each other?
I love the way Josie and Ellie take turns on their bike
I love the way they call who's gonna drive on the drive way two days ahead of time.
I love the way they lay all over the house doing school.
I love the way Cooper and Cullen look just a like.
I love the way they leave me love letters by my bed.
I love the swing that I had put up on my front porch, their swinging makes me happy.
I love the way Taylor has become a mother. Her fussing over her little girl.
I love the tiredness in her eyes that I know is growing her into the woman/mom that God intends.
I love the way Tucker loves his wife. He is learning and growing and being stretched but
I love that he took a huge leap and wasn't afraid to do so.
I love them
This moment in time is all I have.
I try and squish a lot of love into this moment because they do leave and I know this very well.
I carry girls who are way too big to be carried but they don't know they're too big.
I make them dress up in fall colors and carry pumpkins to a bale of hay and take cheesy pictures
because one day these pictures will remind them of their childhood.
I SO love them and yes it's so hard when they leave but while I have them here
I will be preparing them with lots of laughter and lots of good-times...
and Alabama football.
"Mama, they're every 10 minutes but I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I was just there and they will send me home." "Taylor, you have to call and just tell them." "Okay I'll call." .......
"They want me to come in and just be checked but I know they're gonna send me home."
So we pile up in cars, John's sweet mama is also there. On the way to the hospital her contractions increase to every 7 mins right on the dot. John and I look at each other through the rear view mirror... We both know this is it but she was still unconvinced.
"Y'all don't be disappointed when they send me home."
We continue to wind our way to the hospital and about 20 mins out the contractions are now 5 mins apart. She is grabbing his hand and he has fingernail marks. We get to the office and they start asking her questions and they say, "well he's goingto check you before he goes and delivers another baby". Dr Mac says, "well Taylor these things happen to a first time mama. It feels so real and yet sometimes you just have to do this pre-labor stuff for a while." She starts crying. Dr Mac smiles and says "but this is not what's happening to you. You are in labor and you just pulled your ticket to go upstairs and see your baby."
Cheers from the room as Terry, John and I were wondering how we would have put her back in that car.
She asks "can they still send me home..?"
We all scream nooooo! Taylor you're gonna have this girl today!
We barely to get her up to the room and she says "I feel lots of pressure". The nurse said well put your gown on and I'll check you.
She had been 2cm for a few weeks and she had been two cm
just 20 mins before with the doctor, so when the nurse said you're 5cm we were all in shock.
Contractions were coming every 2 mins and they had not given her anything for pain.
She was fighting through them in between texting her dad and talking to all of us.
Talking and dreaming about little Marlee
Oh yeah I had to make sure the first thing my granddaughter saw was the red and white.
Roll Tide, Marlee Bird!
(John and his entire family tree back to Noah are Auburn folks)
They checked her 30 mins later and she was 7cm.
I had never seen such a fast labor. She was so brave and so in control. John was amazing and he never left her side one time.
Terry (John's mom) and I would take turns looking at her contractions on the monitor and raise our eye brows and try and warn her one was coming or one was leaving.
At almost 8cm she got her epidural and was preparing to push.
So many things going on in the room. Nurses getting Marlee's bed ready, bright lights and doctor being called. It was time to push.
She was working so hard. But Marlee was face up in the birth canal and Taylor had to push, and it was a long and hard process but after 2.5 hours with Dr. Mac assisting, she delivered their beautiful 7lb daughter. Our grandbaby, the little girl that has changed our family.
The bridge to the next generation being built
Scott loves his little girl and even a crazy work schedule couldn't keep him away. He was there and he was very present. He hated to see her hurt. I'm so thankful that this man is my husband. The Lord gave me and my children such a gift in him and Marlee has the best Papa.
She was battered and banged up pretty bad. She was weak and tired but she looked on at her daughter with the eyes of true love.
She is the sweetest thing (taylor)... She didn't complain much even though I knew the pain meds would wear off.. She didn't realize that at this point so I lived in that happy bubble with her.
She just kept saying this was all worth it. The 17 weeks of throwing up and laying in bed. The letting go of vanity for the sake of this baby. The letting go of dreams that newly married couples have and resting in the fact that the Lord has a bigger vision.
Doc Mac. Words can't describe this man. He delivers our grandbaby and then goes to my daughter and kisses her and tells her how proud he is of her. Tears slide down her face and he lingers there..
I know he does this every day but he delivered one of my babies and it's kind of a family thing.
I follow her around the room. I watch as they measure her and bathe her. She doesn't know me yet but I'm sure she will understand soon enough that she has a crowd of people that will love her and protect her and be there for her till.....just until forever.
She doesn't have to perfect. She doesn't have fit in because she is already in.
John's mom is amazing. She and Bob (John's dad) live in Fl and can I just say she has been so good to my daughter. She has come along side and treated her like her own. Marlee is so loved!
I was there when she got her first shampoo. She loved it!!
John Lewis Porter, You are the man I thought you always to be.
Your love and devotion to your wife and daughter is not natural.
It's super natural, as if God gave you an extra measure of love and kindness. You have been down a long road these past 9 months and I know right now you're saying "psssht, I didn't do anything, Taylor did it all" and Taylor couldn't have done anything without your constant presence of peace and strength.
I want 3 more of you for the other girls:)
I love you and I am grateful to the Lord for you.
Marlee, I pray that you know the Lord early and that you see the
Lord in your family. We're not perfect little girl but remember God put you with all of us and we will treat you as the gift you are.
A precious gift.
May God continue to bless
The Porter Family. I will love you forever, Birdie