Sunday, March 12, 2017

Life happens

This is what happens when you blink. The Legs grow long and the wrinkles come. Time slips into the very fabric of your soul and you never realize she's there until some random number takes you by surprise. Like 25. We've been married 25 years and although that number seems outrageous it really has just flown by. Our journey of living and struggling together has kept us busy and time has worked her way into our life.

The girls have all done lots of growing. I wish I could fully describe the balance between these four sisters. Each one waking up to her own self and trying to find out where they fit in this great big world. As their mama I'm trying to find that balance that we're all looking for,  protection without being over protective. I have failed miserably over the years looking for balance but I think we all do. It really is just an ebb and flow.  I have over parented and under parented over the years and neither was done intentionally but we all tend to parent out of our fears or our areas of pride. I tended to over parent out of a response of my own parents under parenting its a crazy cycle but as I get older and figure out that I'm human and my parents were human and the only parents who do it right, don't exist.
It's all God's grace. No effort of ours stands. It all becomes rubble, only what He does will be carried to the next generation. This doesn't mean we don't try, it just means there is no magic formula that we can follow.
I know its not easy in those middle years when you're no longer a baby but you're not grown up either. I spend lots of time trying to show them that the Lord has made them uniquely special and wonderful. I know that each day with them is such a treasure and I truly try to have a great balance and some days I do and that would be considered a very, very, good day.

All the guys have shot up and changed so much.  They all sleep in twin beds in our downstairs and between the football and wrestling there is always craziness. I love having sons and seeing the men that they're growing into, always shocks me some.  The love they show me is over the top but I know that one day they'll transfer that love to their brides and so I take it all now while I have it. It's funny how it works like that but it does. You know that you will always love them and they will always love you but it changes when they leave, as it should, but goodness when your first babies leave it kinda takes you by surprise. If you have one that is leaving be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve and time get used to the new. None of us have it figured out and its different for each family but I think the closer you are the harder the leaving comes.

Scott and I have been very hard at work over these last 25 years having babies, raising babies making mistakes and doing some good things and all the while trying to keep our marriage a priority. It's just hard y'all but everyday we strive to do something to keep our marriage alive. Some days that might mean a walk around the farm or just a quick cup of coffee.  Other days it might be taking a week out and spending time a way. Life wants you to forget your purpose and our purpose as Christians Is to glorify the Lord and love Him forever and then to love one another. As a couple with lots of children it's more important then ever we don't forget why we were created.  We can get so caught up in the busyness of life that we forget. Our marriages have to be put first after Christ and it may take years but if you don't put your marriage before the kids it will show up sooner or later. So celebrate life together. Don't forget to act silly ,take dance class, keep a hobby that you both love and most importantly have adult friends that you can do life with. We often neglect this but so many times over the years I've been so lonely even though I was surrounded by a boat load of kids.
If you're a mama you know what I mean. Loneliness in the midst of chaos.  
We need adult friends to laugh with and share life's troubles with. Our friends help keep us balanced and give us a safe place to land when we need a break.

I'm out of practice writing. Please forgive me as I slowly come back to the place I love.

blessings from the farm,


Aflyonmyhomeschoolwall said...

Happy anniversary! You look like a brand-new bride. :)

Mrs. U said...

Happy anniversary!!!!! What a blessing!!!!!

Renata said...

Happy, happy Anniversary! I have missed your writing here and always love the wisdom you share! You are just beautiful Robin!
Have a lovely celebration
Renata 😀

Theresa said...

Happy 25th Anniversary. What a beautiful family you have!

Karen Sue said...

I've been busy and thought I was just missing when you wrote, but now I realize that you've been busy, too.
So good to read your post again. Hoping to get back into it soon myself. I changed my routine a bit and I miss that writing time I used to get in the a.m.

Happy next 25 years.

Molly Schultz said...

So glad to see this post! I drink your writing up like a camel that just came across a desert. Happy Anniversary. Thank you for all the life lessons you share here.

Tamera said...

Oh, Robin it so good to have you back! Happy Anniversary!Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Anonymous said...

Miss your blog, Robin!!

Yi said...

You are a beautiful couple with an even more beautiful family. May YHWH bless you and yourfamily in an abundance. Sincerely, Yvonne

Eszti said...

Hi, I am Eszter from Hungary. I've been blogging for a while now, since 2009 to be exact. During all those early years with many little kids, you were one of the few blogmates I followed continuously. With 7 kids and my firstborn son leaving the house to get married this June, there is so much similarity between me your 2018 self. I am experiencing a lot of the same feelings and thoughts as you have written about and there is so much power in the way you used your words. I love reading from you, especially now, especially this post, for it hit home and also encouraged me to follow adult friends - which I struggle with these days. Can I have your permission to translate this post to my mother tongue to bless all my readers who are mostly mothers with someone's thoughts who walked the path (and still does)? Please let me know. I would be more than happy to do it and of course I will link the original post as well. God bless you, Eszter


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