Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What's not to love?

I often wonder when people ask me why we love kids so much
~I mean what's not to love?~
The crazy mornings of toast in the oven almost burning.
The little sleepy headed girls snuggling in my bed.
The sweet guys that make me feel so very special.
The water bill that rises when the temp is above 70 degrees outside.
The days that seem to run together and not remembering the beginning
nor the end just living each moment out loud.
The hundreds of episodes of Andy Griffith that we have watched piled up like back yard puppies on my bed.
The days of sickness that makes you sit in a rocker and hold
them all day long.
The meals that we have experienced and tasted together.
The car drives that either are very sweet
or make you want to lose your mind.

Wiping noses
Brushing teeth
Kissing boo-boos
One more math problem
 Cooking for
Saying no whining to
Watching for
Worrying over
Braiding hair
Looking for shoes

Slowly wondering where I went in all of that but not really caring because I know that doing God's work means I must die to the things I want to do and instead do
the things He wants me to do. Not easy but slowly the Lord teaches you.  

I pray that when my children are grown that they can be shot out of my home like strong bright arrows that don't lose their way in this world. But that means I must be involved because I'm their mother and I want them to succeed only second to their father and so I will keep on training and be with them each and every day.

I pray when I take my last breath that they keep climbing and keep moving forward.What the world has to offer me does not appeal to me.
I don't like the way the world trains up children:
Without the bible and without good sense, if you ask me.

No direction just do what feels good and do what's least painful
on yourself and your children. The results are astounding.

We have realized along the way most recently that
our parenting is not without flaws and so we're so thankful for God's grace.
I want to teach them that family is a gift.
Remembering that God creates family and so
He created us to live on this farm and raise these animals
and sing around the table
and celebrate birthdays and anniversaries
new beginnings of things to come all settled between us.
Things worked out, mulled over and prayed over.
Decisions made based on the word of God instead
of the word of the world.
I have learned a very small lesson in my lifetime that I'm
trying to pass down to one of my oldest now,

"If the world doesn't like what you're doing then
you must be walking down the right path."

The world hates the things that God created.
So don't be complexed or confused when people don't
understand what you're doing or why you're doing it.

Stay on the path, keep walking and don't you dare settle for what the world has to offer.

I'm trying to slow my life down a bit
enjoy the leaves returning and the sun as she unpacks right here in the middle
of the farm. I can hear their voices echoing through the hollow,
the laughter and screams that a little water can make.

A new season.

She's no longer a baby.

They are no longer little and clean.

He lost his best friend and now sits around on the fence thinking about what
to do. I loved watching them curl themselves in a ball intertwined around each other so tight you didn't know where one ended and one began. 
He sits around as if waiting for his friend to return but return he won't,
just like Summer of 2012 won't return.

A new season is here and I have to jump down off my fence and stop
waiting for something that will not return.

I must continue down my path of motherhood and stop
looking back at the good ol' days and remember to live in this day.

Always remembering to live.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Life on the farm

I love the way they turn out, my life in pictures of the everyday.
Celebration of moments that are here for only a moment.
Channie-Mae loves little babies and her affection and devotion is contagious.
I love her excitement of just giving a bottle.
Her laying her head on the pillow at the end of the night and
hearing her last words be, "I've got to get some sleep so I can help with the babies tomorrow."

The way the field hay bends its rod to welcome him in as the sun goes down
and splashes on his face.

The way on national sibling day they didn't know it was special because they spend every day together.

See, we're not perfect. 

The way the roaster protects his little flock of six hens in the back yard.
He thinks he's so bad and really he is.
He scares everyone around here.
I like that about him though. 
He does his job.

The daffodils are in bloom and every year the kids run up and down the yard helping them put their tiny seeds to flight.
They huff and puff and the tiny seed pods drift out into the pasture to soon deliver a beautiful yellow flower that gets picked by the hands of my children.

The old red truck is being serviced for her upcoming job to circle this
farm and haul kids in the back. 

Looking forward to a spectacular summer of many memories of us.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

To Scott

Mr. Scott White my husband of 21 years

My life has been touched by him. He has transformed me. You can't live with someone for 21 years and not come out looking like him.
He is my soul mate. 
He is the one that makes it all better when nothing else works…
His shoulders are big and strong when I lean in I melt.
I surrender my worries. I trust him and in doing so I trust the Lord more.

 I trust my calling as wife and mother when everyone around me seems to be "doing" he reminds me that my calling is most important.

The years have changed us so much. I wish I could look back and say I have done all things with love. In reality that's far from the truth. I've had to be beat over the head by the Lord reminding me to love.

I want my way.
I want to be heard. 
I want to win the fight. 
I want to be the one that is right.
I want the attention.
I want to say I told you so.

What I've learned is...I'm a pretty good fighter. I can win a fight with Scott, but every time I win a fight I actually lose:( 

someone should of told me..so I'm telling you...

I wish I could go back and lose every single fight. When I win a fight I've actually lost a small part of love. When I win a fight but see his eyes offended it's not love.
It's not beauty. It's quite ugly.
  1. Learn to lose
  2. Learn to build up
  3. Learn to forgive
  4. Learn to see like God sees
  5. Learn to lose every single fight and you will surely win the heart of your beloved.
  6. Learn to lose and The Lord will make sure you win. When you stand behind the Lord in battle he will defend you. When you go before the Lord and try and defend yourself you lose every single time.

I've also learned that marriage is what you make it. If you build your husband up in the gates...i.e. Walmart, church, work, the bank, to your mom, anyone that will listen you will be amazed at the outcome.

Make a point to never, ever, ever say anything bad about your husband to anyone. When you say something negative about him in the gates...You can never ever take it back. People in the gates ( other women ) will go and tell their husband and then that whole family will look at your man differently. People will judge him from then on out based on what you have said. You might as well have got a bulldozer and pushed down half your house. You will never be able to repair what you've done.  

One word and you have ruined his reputation as husband, leader, father...
Glad someone told me this....5 years into our marriage. I was a complainer...and I complained plenty because I wanted someone to feel sorry for me or give me props for putting up with him for leaving his towel on the floor...or whatever small thing it was...I was only trying to make myself feel better by bringing him down.

Not beauty...…

If you truly have a horrible husband and he's abusing you or the kids then get help...but ask people who will and can truly help you...Use discretion.  

I make it a habit to build him up. Is he perfect? Well, he's close but I will never let you or anyone else in on his short comings. Why because he is part of me and by telling you about his short comings only lets you in to my short comings...I actually am breathing death into our marriage when I complain about my husband. We women think a lot and we talk a lot and we tend to meditate a lot on what we think about. Think about the good and be Thankful.  

This same rule applies to your precious children. Your children are growing and learning and they won't stay the same. Don't tear them down to everyone. Don't talk about their bad tempers, or grouchy morning attitudes, bad work ethics...You are tearing your own house down with your own hands I promise...…Pray for them..keep silent, train them and let the Lord go to battle before you. I'm not saying don't get counsel when it's needed but I am saying we talk too much.

The old saying if you don't have something good to say don't say it… 
It applies mostly to our families. 

So 21 years have flown by, our marriage has had ups and downs...When you're being pruned it's a process. It's painful at times to have a branch cut off but when it returns the next season it's beautiful and the fruit is plentiful. If it's left not pruned it bears no fruit. It's useless.

So as I learn over the years that the hard times are the times that the Lord is pruning us I let him take the branches.

 I have learned to bend into the pruning and I know that beauty will return. 

As I grow older I so want the Lord to open my eyes and soften my heart and help me to hear.

All I want is to Love Scott more. To bring him good for the rest of our years 

I know now a lifetime is not enough. I blinked and its  21 years later....

Happy Anniversary Scott my beloved and my friend
April 3,1992

I do not take credit for photos…


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