It was awkward to say the least. It brought hot tears to my eyes as I pulled him close. Why does being a teenager have to be so hard? Why does a mama and her son have to separate so he can be a man?HE was my first born son. He was the one I kept by my side until his father made me let him go to a big boy bed. He was the one I worried about the most. He was my first true love (besides his father) for the male population. He taught me to trust and love and to love deeply. Now he is transitioning into man-hood and although at times I feel an outsider into his thoughts I see glimpses of the little boy who pushed his knees into my back as we slept late. The grin that stole my heart a million times I have to look for now but it's still there. The words I miss the most " best mama in the world" he used to say often now are replaced with my favorite music cd's carefully made by him and left in my car as a surprise.
I miss the carefree days of slippy slides and Kool-aid with him. The days that I understood him better than anyone...the days when I could kiss his boo-boos and make everything better.
Now we walk together but it's strange at times. Me trying to understand him and him trying to
I put my hand on his shoulder and said laughingly "lets hug" and he did and for a moment I felt
the little boy that is still in there somewhere..Time stood there alittle awkward but it stood...and my tears fell........
If your little boy is still sleepily pushing his knees in your back and still blowing you kisses and
whispering love words in your ears drawing you heart pictures and telling you
you're the best mother in the world...embrace it and live there with him as long as you can.
Go into his room at night and hear his stories and make sure his love bank is filled with mama love..
They do grow up and before you know he's growing into a man and you're a woman missing your little boy...
Wondering where the time went and wondering if you embraced every single moment..
This is the Lord's design and it's a normal part of letting him go but ladies I have to tell you
Scott laughs at me and, heck I laugh at myself but letting go is not easy.
I know I have some years to go but we're training him to go.. We're training him to not need us.
So a part of me feels like screaming to get off the ride....the ride of letting him go........
but I have to remember to embrace these moments and trust in this journey that every
mother and every son must and will go through..