Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Walking in the Rain

I know that most of you have never experienced the loss of a child but those of you who have may can contest to what I'm feeling right now.

Grief is an energy zapper. It drains you so fast and you can neither stop it or slow it down.
There are certain 'triggers' that recall your broken heart up to the surface and then the grief over takes you..Your in the middle of a thunder storm of your emotions before you or your husband or friends even know anything is happening...

The only thing you can do is keep walking..
It feels like your walking with 50lb weights tied to your ankle's though so it's not as easy as it sounds..
Those of you serious about your 5-k training ever tried running in the rain?
Your running in the same place, you have the same clothes on, it's the same time of day but it's raining so EVERYTHING is different.
Your wet, your getting your face smacked by little rain drops your not comfortable..Your trail or road looks like the dry one but the trees are heavy with the rain that flows. The ground is soft and muddy and you have to keep moving..You can't stop..

You want to stop and just let the rain pound, let the mud rise and the lighting strike but you keep moving.

Grief over the loss of William has left me broken and wandering in the rain alot but you may not see it unless your one of my few friends that know me well but it's there..I try to keep moving forward and I do and some days the weight feels like 10lbs but today it feels like 150.

So I ask for prayer from all of you I'm trying to be real on this journey so that no-one gets the impression it's easy because it's the hardest road I've traveled.

4 comments:

Theresa said...

((((Hugs))) Prayers being said constantly.


I have been living with loss for years, and at times, it is still painful, but my joyous times are richer too. I am more grateful for God's blessings.

Emma said...

I have ran in the rain before, it is very hard to do, I just wanted to stop, but I kept going, until God brought me through to the end... and there was light at the end of the tunnel, and he'll do the same for you. I think of Willy every time I run, and I'll cross that finish line remembering that I'll see him on the other side someday. It's made me realize that life is VERY precious and we should take the best care of our life. Thanks for all your support through the running stuff.
With love Emma
oxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

We lost our three week old daughter almost four months ago. Only those who lost a child can know our grief. I want to be the strong man, leader, husband, I used to be. I just don;t feel the same.

Candace said...

Robin, Hi, you don't know me, but I'm a friend of Kelly C.'s. My heart still goes out to you as a mother, as I lost a child years ago while pregnant.

Knowing you've been down this road more than I have, I know there's nothing new I can say.

I can only encourage and speak God's words of truth and peace. He holds your precious baby just as He holds you!

You never realize how painful this is until you've been through it. The loss is unmeasurable, isn't it?

While I still remember my baby, the Lord has given me such comfort in knowing that what happened was His will.

My child will live forever with my Lord and never know the pain, suffering, and tribulations of this world.

I never have to worry about where this child will spend eternity - they are already in that perfect place.

I love to look into the sky and just imagine what they are doing with the Lord - as that was my comfort after I miscarried.

Hugs to you!

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