Monday, January 26, 2009

What in the world are we thinking?

I'm reading a great book called The Family by J.R. Miller this book is copyrighted in the 1800's but I love his simple elegance regarding the family.
He believes one of the down falls of American Families is the lack of relationships between brothers and sisters. He writes:

"Oftentimes the intercourse of brothers and sisters in the home lacks even the graces of ordinary civility.As soon as the door shuts them within, restraint is thrown off, selfishness comes to the surface, courtesy is laid aside. There is no pleasant conversation. Neither lives for or tries to please the other.
The speech is rude or careless and the whole bearing cold or indifferent. The better nature is hidden and the worse comes to the surface.
Instead of a tender idol of grace and beauty, the exchange is a harsh and painful discord.
Brothers and sisters are each other's natural keepers. If they fulfilled their duties in this regard, the one to the other, life would show fewer wrecks. They would shield each other.
They should be an inspiration to each other in the direction of all noble thought and better life."

I have often wondered what my own life would have been like if my brothers and I would have been taught that we had to get along.
That we had to respect each other,
We had to help each other,
We had to protect each other.

Parents have bought the lie that:
Our kids should be in every sport possible and thus keeps them away from the most important relationship of their lives. Brothers and sisters.
We have made it where little baby Johnny is so spoiled rotten that even if big brother was home he doesn't want to be around his younger part.
We have continued to strip the family down to just four walls.
No relationships, no duty for anyone except their own thing.
We cart around kids that are unappreciative and rude and we call it 'normal'........

I choose different...
I say it's not acceptable for a child not to be grateful if you take them somewhere.
I say it's not acceptable for a child to talk down or rude to their younger brothers or sisters.
I say it's not acceptable not to help prepare a meal and help clean up after wards.
I could go on.......

Mr. Miller writes:
"Is your home plain and bare? Must you meet hardships and endure toils? Have your cares and privations? Do you sigh for something finer, more beautiful, less hard? Call up love to wreath itself over all your home-life.
Cultivate home friendships. Bind up the broken home ties.
Plant the flowers of affection in every corner. Then soon all will be transfigured. You will forget care, hardships and toil, for they will all be hidden under lovely garments of affection."

Lets start today teaching our kids to be friends..
Teach our boys to be protectors.
Teach our girls to respect their brothers.
Be affectionate one to another.

Lets transform our home it starts with us.


MamaHen said...

Amen Sista! I wish we were neighbors!

rcsnickers said...

Excellent!!! Thanks for sharing this book. I will have to check it at our library!

Anonymous said...


rixja said...

Robin, Great book and great post! I can relate completely. I am thankful that my girls have been encouraged and are choosing to be Best Friends. I know that they will have and do have an entirely different relationship than the typical type that I had/have with my brother and sister.

Blessings, rixja

Becky said...

Again, I have to say I love your blog. I love that you post such simple truths that are so profound. Thanks for inspiring me yet again.


Anonymous said...

I have this book, but haven't read the whole thing. I especially appreciated the last quote by Miller. It really blessed me. Thanks for sharing!


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