Monday, January 12, 2009

The little girl who visits from time to time

The little girl from years ago often cries out in the dead of night to be heard.
Her tears so very much real. The pain of not having a father who loved her as only a father can do. The fear and sleepless nights that this little girl survived. The many times she had to run away from the very person who was supposed to protect her.

The reality that all hope is gone for this little girl to ever believe that maybe he would change his mind.

The hope..The one thing the little girl always believed in.

Maybe one day he would come to her door and tell her how very proud he was of her.
He would tell her how he wanted things to be different .How he wanted her to be his little girl after all.
But sometimes happy endings don't happen. Sometimes your hope dies and your left to wonder.

Sometime the voices in my memories are not all good.
Sometimes it's the voices of those years that are so deafening.
The words of insult. The words that cut so deep that you cry yourself
to sleep. The words that no little girl should hear from a father.

Those voices don't last long now. I have a family that drowns out that voice.
I have a heavenly Father that yells over that voice.....Yells over the voice of my earthly father....... The Lord reminds me time and and time again that I'm His.

Sometimes I walk my way back down memory lane and cry for that little girl.
I cry for her loss.
I cry for her having to run and I cry for having to endure so much.
I long to tell her that everything will work out ok.
I long to let her know that God has a huge plan and this will make her strong and she will understand years from now..
but in reality I think she knew..
I think that's what kept her going.

The little girl comes to my dreams from time to time and the memories are just a blur but she
finally understands that the Lord has healed her. He has made her whole......
by just One Touch...
He has given her a life that she could only imagine.
He has given her an incredible husband who happens to be the best father in the world.
He has given her Hope in Him......

The wounds have healed and the hurt pops up from time to time
but I'm thankful for the past
and I'm thankful for how the Lord used it to grow me and to show me how much I need HIM.


Been ostracized for 12 years
I’m used to being alone
Spent everything I had
And now it’s gone
I’m used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored
In this fall

If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I’d be made whole
If I could just press my way thru this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch

So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him
Would stop the flow
If he knew would He rebuke me
Or shame me to the crowd
Well I’m desperate ‘cause it’s never or it’s now


Suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles
And how…

I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And I know I’ve been made whole
And how I had pressed my way thru the madness
And His love has healed my soul

Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I’ve been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way thru my madness
And His love has healed my soul

I tell you He touched me
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me
Jesus, shol’ ‘nough He touched me…
And I know I’ve been made whole

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