Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Part 2 of getting the focus off....
Look for areas in your kids life that they are holding on too tight to something..Their things, Their games ,it could be anything.....
This is a tough one because for so many of us we strive to give our
But selfishness starts EARLY.......
We have all of our boys in the same room. We have a large house but we choose
to teach our boys how to get along with the space they are given..ie a bunk bed.
We are constantly getting rid of things and the boys have few possessions
We share everything.....with the exception of a favorite blanket or 'baby'..
Now keep in mind my older kids do have things that the younger ones are NOT allowed
to touch...This teaches them respect for others things. But you have to lose things
before you can have them..
Meaning Your possessions don't come before your relationships..This is a tough thing to learn for anyone..But it's so worth your time.As a mom I'm finding out that I have very few things that don't get borrowed or broken and if I was so attached to my things I would be in a constant uproar..Don't be afraid to take things away from your kids and start over..I have been known to bag up all their things and put them in the attic..
This room idea works for all ages..Taylor shares a room with Channie....It has bonded them so wonderfully..It really just brings your older kids to a whole new level of watching out for the little people in their world.It gives them responsibility, commitment, and a new love for one another.
If you don't have older kids I would move my younger ones into a room together.
If nothing else your kids weaknesses that you need to help them work on will be revealed..If little sister is scared don't call out for me you can comfort her..Tell her a story or just hold her hand...
So, what if your saying to yourself my kids would kill each other..I would shout for
joy for you if you were right here with me...You have a golden opportunity to teach them so much by just keeping them together and training them to love one another.
I would cross their world up so much they wouldn't know what hit them.
I sometimes find my two 2 year olds fighting over their drinks at the dinner table.
I take a mental note and at breakfast I make them share a drink. Now I tell you this is not for the faint of heart you have to be serious about training them to love their neighbor because this could get ugly with a couple of two year olds but they do it. They learn that I'm not kidding when it comes to fighting over something..If they don't share with my instruction and they both are still fighting over and crying over the drink I take the drink from the table..The funny thing is the next time we sit down they share a drink again and I remind them that they need to take turns and if they don't I will take the drink from the table...It's amazing but it works......
Do you have a couple of children that fight in the car so you separate them.
I don't, I sit them next to each other and tell them I will not accept fighting
and fussing and they will learn to love each other ....(crossing their worlds)
In my marriage Scott rubs me the wrong way sometimes but I have to learn to love him
regardless..I can't pull away from him and I can't sit somewhere else..(although I do this from time to time..)hey I'm a sinner...
Teach them to work through personality difficulties and you are teaching them something that will last a life time.
This is something we did a couple years ago at Christmas..We bought a family gift.
We built the kids a tree house. They had to learn to share the
gift and to realize that the gift was for them all..It was a huge teaching moment
because none of them had rights to the gift it was for all..(crossing their worlds)
Sorry this post is so long I will pick up tomorrow..
Talk to me let me know how you cross your children's worlds......