Monday, July 14, 2008

People often ask me what I teach my children....so this is it in a nut shell..

Self-preoccupation, self-broodings, self-interest, self love-
these are the reasons we jar each other.(make each other mad)
Turn your eyes off yourself;
look up and out! They are your brothers and sisters;
they have needs that you can aid.
Listen for their confidences;
keep your heart wide open to their calls,
and your hands alert for their service.
Learn to give and not to take; to drown your own hungry wants in the
happiness of lending yourself to fulfill the interests of those nearest or dearest.
Look up and out, from this narrow, cabined self of yours.....you will find to your own glad surprise the secret of the meekness and gentleness of Jesus, and the fruits of he Spirit will all bud and blossom from out of your life..


Scott and I try very hard to squish self- pity and selfishness..
If one of your kids is mad or up-set more than likely they
haven't got something they want or they haven't got Their way..
Either way it's about SELF. The same is true for us adults..Usually when
I'm mad at Scott it's because he didn't do it My way....
Usually when I'm mad at others it's because I feel slighted or I feel
like my needs didn't get met.

So what about it..We tend to our children in such a way that they end
up expecting to be served instead of considering it an honor to be served.
So why are we surprised when they don't get along with their brothers and sisters..
Why then are we surprised when marriages don't work out?
All relationships are about giving not receiving. Yet we spend so much of our
time giving to our kids instead of expecting them to give back..
A 12 year old boy in civil war days was proud that he got to help the family or go to war.
It was expected of him..He was trained for that his whole life..
He knew hard work was part of life..
A 12 year old this day and age expects you to let him play video games and watch
tv.For the most part they have no sense of responsibility. We have taken that gift
from our guys....Boys NEED responsibility even if it's (made up)...... "Oh Cullen you are such a huge help to mama when daddy is gone.. Your going to be a wonderful husband one day."
Moms we have to lay down our domineering role and let our boys feel needed...

We have to train them..........This does not happen when they turn 18................

Ok that was way off the point sorry...I have such a passion for the boys in my life it just kinda spills over..


So how do we get our kids focus off their self...
One word.

SERVICE.....Start now in making them help do everything.
Set tables, clear tables, yard work clean out cars..
Make food for someone in need.

Understand they will complain.......Make them work all the harder.
Do not let them quit.


Teach them the skills to get along with others...

#1 rule at our house is we will not and never have allowed our children
to disrespect one another...We do not allow fighting...................
Both parties will be punished and punished swiftly if there is fighting.
Brothers and sisters that are Looking out for one another very rarely fight.

Make your home a home of peace and rest for all who live there.(mostly dad he will thank you for it..)

Get tough mom and know that your influence is the one that is going to change things....

more tomorrow on ways we can help our children take the focus off....

ACTS 20:35
I have showed you all things, how that so laboring you ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

3 comments:

Rebekah said...

Amen sister! :-) What a blessing we have as parents to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of our children! And how awesome to see the self-centeredness turn to others-centeredness. Isn't it ironic, though, that he uses them to do the same thing in us?! Praise the Lord!

In Christ,
Rebekah

Brandi said...

Preach it girl! We need to hear it!

Love you,
Bran

Anonymous said...

We do need to hear it! My mom never allowed us to fight either. I wonder if there is any book you would recommend for raising boys? Thanks for sharing! Christie (Brandi's friend :)

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