Out my kitchen window...

The sun is shining through my kitchen window. It's early. Chores done for the little ones and off to the water they go. You couldn't separate them if you tried and although every day is filled with their little problems they seem to work it out somewhere between the pool and their bikes. I'm always around to put out the very big fires.

My kitchen window frames in my world. I can see them running and playing, swimming and jumping all from my kitchen window. They keep drawing me away from my work. I will see them laughing and playing and I have to stop and go sit a spell. Enjoying the beauty of water when their little bodies run through it.

My kitchen window frames the lessons I try to teach them. What keeps them close is that they share a life here and I never let them forget that. They share life together and life is for those who work it out. Don't hold grudges and forgive always. I try and remind them ever so gently (ok, so I am told that it is not that gently :) of their own short comings and how they have been forgiven much and so they're required to forgive.

Boys never let me forget how to have fun. They make me H-A-P-P-Y..They make my work a reward. They make my heart pitter- patter.The good times far out weigh the bad times and they know that life is good for them on this farm. Brothers are not allowed to tease little sisters and little sisters are not allowed to be brats to brothers. Simple courtesies that cultivate love and respect. Time spent working together and then lots of time spent playing together and eating Popsicles, swimming, riding bikes, watching movies with a big bowl of popcorn. It's a balancing act but I love making them laugh and

I love watching them be kids and run and jump and change clothes for the tenth time in one day(which I don't love so much).

My water bill is higher but they're happy and I'm happy so life is good.

This little guy will change the way you feel about the color brown.

He will make you wish you had three more just like him. He will make you

crave chocolate brownies and chocolate ice cream. He will make you crave the chocolate

fudge that slides down a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

He makes me happy :) I'm just saying...

I give God the glory for giving me the most wonderful, priceless gifts in the world.

Enjoy the gifts he has given you. Don't let this day be without laughter, fun, and craziness.

Throw caution to the wind and enjoy the gifts that God has graciously loaned to you.

Let the world know that motherhood is Fun and wonderful..

Oh, and don't forget to look out your kitchen window.

and when you do? think of me..:)

Meet me in Italy....Some Day

Waking up again next to the man I call mine. Glorious, wonderful love of my life. I roll over and wrap myself around him and beg him to make me a cup of coffee. We usually take turns but I hope he's awake enough to know I really need him to do it this morning. He is. I hear him clanging around in my kitchen and know that I love him more right this very moment than I have ever loved him. I really needed coffee. I think over my day and realize I don't feel very much like doing the same thing over again, but having a conversation with myself while I waited on my morning java, I convinced myself that this is what my life is about. The things I do everyday. the same dishes, the same floors, the same clothes. This is where I live and serve. This is where I learn to die to myself and some days dying is hard. Other days it's not so hard but today I wanted to be in a small little village in Italy on the beach, a cool breeze blowing through my window, and a table for two overlooking the water. (Ok, I know, totally selfish. but remember, I haven't died to myself quite yet and it doesn't count if your feet haven't touched the ground yet and mine have most certainly not.) I still have a few minutes to day dream of being alone with him. A few flashes of having him all to myself. The thought was interrupted soon enough when a little chocolate love slides his body next to mine and snuggles deep in my covers. A little girl follows close behind and she snuggles next to me also and the conversation with myself is finally over. It's time to get myself off my mind and get back to living. Get back to the reality of doing what I'm called to do.

My man brings in my coffee and we smile that smile of "one day" but we both know that if we have our way we'll always be sharing our bed and sharing our love with these gifts that have so graciously been given to us. And we keep on living this out the best way we know how- one moment at a time.

Until one day when he is all mine again, but when you have eight kids ranging from 17 to 8 months the dream of having him all to myself seems really far off and it brings the fleeting thoughts of bed pans and hearing aids. :)

Some Day..

Some days having a large family is down right inconvenient; it's on those days that you peel yourself out of bed and grab your favorite pair of jeans and realize: "this is it, I will never get this day back and I'm not promised tomorrow so I better live"... and live I do right in the middle of this big family. Scott and I will continue to dream of our little bungalow and the one day when

he will be mine for an hour or two or maybe a day.

He has given himself over to this big ol' family of ours, so he will never truly be all mine again but I love being married to a man with lots of kids. He's not a wimp. He's seen it all and been there and done that and the man still wants more. He fixes boo-boos and changes diapers.

He is constantly holding someone; me or the kids. I love him when he's in daddy role and

I know someday I'll miss him kissing heads and giving baths. Someday, I'll miss seeing him

snuggle with our little baby and I'll want this back.

Some Day...

He will be mine....but until then I'll take today.

A special wish

My mom is turning 65 years old in a few days. You would love her if you met her and you would remember her if you have. She's funny and irresistibly charming. She is a very generous person and loves to spoil her grandchildren with her generosity. She's hip and I love that about her.

Her life has not been easy, the road she has traveled has been full of pot-holes and yet she is happy.

She is the only girl of 5 brothers and the baby. They all called her sister and I loved hearing them call her that.

When she was 13 years old her daddy (as she affectionately calls him) dropped her off at the movies and told her he'd be back to get her and he never returned. He died in a car accident and she would never see him again. Her memories are full of his love for her. Story after story of his protection over her, his baby girl. His love still there, still remembered some 50 years later.

I would have loved to have met this man and to have experienced his love first hand.

She married my father when she was 18 years old. He was not her father I'm afraid. He didn't cherish her nor treat her the way her daddy would have liked but she had three children and a commitment and she stuck. My father was an alcoholic who's behavior I can only describe as mean and irrational and yet my mom made a home for us there. Not a perfect home, but a home. My memories have failed me on so many levels concerning my childhood and that I believe is a gift from God yet I remember her devotion to us and her desire for us to succeed in this world. I am not bitter about my childhood because I only seldom remember her being bitter or angry about her life there.

She just lived it and made something out of it and in the process taught us to live where we're at. I'm grateful for that, it has helped me my entire life to live out the rough spots.

She loves and she enjoys life like no one else I've ever been around(besides myself). She never meets a stranger and will have a crowd around her wherever she's at, if you don't watch her.

She's protective, she's outspoken, she's a a little bit of a rebel when it comes to authority and hates bad service. (hey, I didn't say she was perfect :)

She married her a Navy man and he has smoothed out some of her rough edges or maybe it's she's smoothed out some of his; either way they are good together.

I want to say a Very Happy Birthday to my mom.

Your devotion to our family and your love of life

and love for the Lord is inspiring....

"Her children rise up and call her blessed.." Proverbs 31:28

More to love.

It was storming the rain beating the pavement and my car but we were off.

I packed them up and took them to lunch on a rainy day. Just the three of us for an afternoon of food and shopping. I sat across from them and laughed and was very amused at their humor toward each other- all in fun they assured me. We ate three baskets of chips and salsa and had to take our food home because we were so full.

Except for the boy. He ate the chips, and the cheeseburger, and the fries. You gotta love boys.

I do!

-----------------
Later in the day....

So let me set this up for you before you go any further. Outside my bedroom door I hear a sound. It's not much but it makes me turn to find...A spy.

If you have more than one male in your home then you understand me when I say boys

like to dress up and sneak around and solve mysteries of all kinds. This one was trying to

get passed the bedroom door without being seen (but wanting to be seen- I know, it's complicated, but boys are just weird that way). So I act surprised "wow! Didn't see you standing there all in black I didn't hear you bang on the wall..."

"I know, I'm a spy" came the reply. He then asked me if I wanted to see some

of his moves and being his adoring mother I couldn't resist and I thought I would share some with you too.

When he was still showing off to his Mommy someone came up from the shadows and blew his cover ...it was a sight I tell you.I felt bad because I was the cause of his blown cover. There is a lesson to be learned here....:)

I love boys! Just in case you didn't know. I'm just saying.

I love boys who aren't afraid to hold babies and burp them if necessary. I love boys who aren't afraid of a little spit up. Now that's a real man.

I love boys who are not afraid to eat every last drop of this and not lose one ounce of sleep.

I gained 5lbs just watching him eat all of this. Seriously I did. My thighs are twice as big.

I love boys who are not afraid to jump. Ok so I would love him if he didn't jump but he jumps and he jumps well.

Boys:

They never seem to get tired. I know because I have to keep up with all these boys and every morning I wake up to find more to luv.

Boys.. they'll make you want to love harder

Boys.. will make you want to scream

Boys.. will make you cry

Boys..will make you madder than an old wet hen

but I love boys..you should too

Mr. Moon

"And there was evening and there was morning, the First Day." Genesis 1:5





The fat round moon hung above our farm. We were surprised to see him there. We all ran outside and he absolutely took our breath away with his beauty. Framed in by the trees that stand guard over our property, I followed Mr. Moon as he made his way west and I layed my head on the dewy ground and just took him in. One by one little faces appeared in my view and asked me what I was doing. I was reminded that I must teach my children to dance and smile in the darkness and so we did. We danced, smiled, and laughed and tried to catch the moon. We slowly made our way into the house, but the big fat moon shined his head in my bedroom window reminding me that I can't catch him but I caught some great memories under his beautiful light. Thanks Mr. Moon.







"Learn to praise the Lord for the sun of joy when it rises and for the gloom of evening as it falls. There is beauty in both sunrise and sunset sing of it, and glorify the Lord. Like the nightingale, sound your notes at all hours. Believe that the night is as useful as the day.The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow. The stars of promise shine forth gloriously against the darkness of grief. Continue your service under all circumstances. Learn to dance in the day and in the night of your life." Spurgeon

I had to do it...

I had to drive to the beach with two of my very best friends in the world listening to Norah Jones all the way there and talking girl stuff.
I had to throw my things in my room and get to the beach as fast as I could.
I had to feel the sand in my toes.

I had to see my little girl in one of her eight bathing suits looking out across the ocean and wonder what in the world she was thinking.

I had to fight back a few tears as I saw my girls.

I had to have this picture.

We had to have a sand castle with our favorite chips on top

I had to hold all her shells. I had to keep up with her treasures. I didn't mind.

I had to remember that I only have these two for a short time and making sure they

have my undivided attention and making sure they know that I love them more than

anything else in the world. They are two of my best friends in the whole world and I love spending time with them. Even though we spend seven days a week together, 24 hours a day

I want them to understand that I want to know them. I want to enjoy them. I want them to know I cherish them as my daughters.

We had to have friends along on the journey.

Sometimes a girl just has to cry. We understand. We've been there. We know.

We pick her up and engulf her in our love and she's all better and we're better for it.

We understand each other.

I had to eat great food with my girls. A quaint little pizza joint sitting outside under the cool Florida breeze right before sunset.... A girls gotta have her chicken nuggets on the beach. Terribly bad for us, but we had to do it.





I had to breathe them in. I had to sneak them away from the hustle and bustle of our big

family life and eat ice-cream, watch girl movies, sleep late, and stay on the beach for 6 hours.

We had to.

I had to have them all to myself but I still missed my one true love. My true north was at home.

We had some friends there and we put our chairs in the water and solved the worlds problems

right on the sandy beaches.

We had to.

Sometimes you just need to do it. Drive South with your girls. Lay out on a big towel and soak in the friendship; build memories that they will not forget.

Have fun; live....

I had to.

I have to say thank you Lord for a safe trip..

and thank you to our friends at the beach:)

Lessons from the farm...

#1-know the difference between a bushel and a peck.

Our book was coming to an end. It has been a great read and so in celebration of true friendship,

true devotion, and a love that saves we had all the reason in the world to celebrate, so we did.

Charlotte's Web has never looked so good as she looked on my table with my brown eyed children gathered round.

We saved the last two chapters for daddy to read and then we ate pigs in a blanket and ice-cream and cupcakes and then piled up in my bed and watched the movie. Memories, people, it's all about the memories..

I loved the way Coop added our own little spider web. I love that kid. He has me wrapped around, not only, his finger but every possible place I can be wrapped. I admit it. :) So there I said it and now the world knows..

I walked in the baby girls room and this is what I saw. Hmmm... I heard giggles and decided

to sneak a peek.

This is my world...Love, laughter, and a whole lot of adventures..I look for them everywhere.

I need them. Adventures with my kids. I love finding small treasures throughout my day

and this one was definitely a keeper..

Just because I can not get enough of her eyes. You can never have enough of her, I promise.

She is country and a chicken chaser from way back. I hope and pray the Lord is raising up

a strong kinda' man for her..

Around here we do ALOT of three things:

1. eating ice-cream
2. swimming
3. jumping on the trampoline
   

Our summer is just beginning and already I see tan lines and blonder hair

as the sun soaks into them. I see them growing. I see that they're happy and that

makes me very, very happy.

It's always better

The dishes done, we clamor outside and play football. The kids are used to being on his team. They each take their position running back, running back, center, and a tackle or two in the field.

His voice calls out "blue 52, hut!"

I'm used to cheering for him. Not because he's perfect but because he's close enough to perfect

for me ( I had to say that, a blast from the past!).

It's been a long day and yet when he hears "Dad, lets play some football" he's there.

Perfect quarter-back form he gently takes the ball from his beautiful center and sails it across the yard to one of his boys. I can't help but to remember my old high-school cheering days. Only this time I'm cheering for my team. My quarter back. The man that I adore. It's better this way. It's always better when we're together.

He has grown into his role as our quarter-back. I trust him. I know he's got the best interest of the team on his mind all the time and there's a sweet comfort in that.

The years of training and growing are looking good on him and I love who he is growing into.

Coop is like the wind. His feet can take him some place fast, he's always the go-to guy

because he's dependable and did I mention fast?

Fumble on the 50 yard line and the center watches on. She is also an un-paid referee and I suspect a foul or two will be called on those two. I see him catch the ball and run... I fight back the tears because my mind wonders the what ifs.
What if we would have listened to the nay-sayers in our life and not brought this little guy home.
His feet pounding the dirt and his heart pounding life. His smile pounding the door to my heart right down. Love is a leap you cannot deny. I'm glad we didn't deny him.

The darkness taking over and the lightning bugs dancing around us, the frogs so loud we have to almost shout.

We stop our game for the night and my quarterback and I pose for a quick picture for our adoring fans:

Our children...and then he kisses me and they all run away...:)

Guess where the girls are?

Enjoy the moment

It was awkward to say the least. It brought hot tears to my eyes as I pulled him close. Why does being a teenager have to be so hard? Why does a mama and her son have to separate so he can be a man?HE was my first born son. He was the one I kept by my side until his father made me let him go to a big boy bed. He was the one I worried about the most. He was my first true love (besides his father) for the male population. He taught me to trust and love and to love deeply. Now he is transitioning into man-hood and although at times I feel an outsider into his thoughts I see glimpses of the little boy who pushed his knees into my back as we slept late. The grin that stole my heart a million times I have to look for now but it's still there. The words I miss the most " best mama in the world" he used to say often now are replaced with my favorite music cd's carefully made by him and left in my car as a surprise.

I miss the carefree days of slippy slides and Kool-aid with him. The days that I understood him better than anyone...the days when I could kiss his boo-boos and make everything better.

Now we walk together but it's strange at times. Me trying to understand him and him trying to

understand me.

This morning:

I put my hand on his shoulder and said laughingly "lets hug" and he did and for a moment I felt

the little boy that is still in there somewhere..Time stood there alittle awkward but it stood...and my tears fell........

If your little boy is still sleepily pushing his knees in your back and still blowing you kisses and

whispering love words in your ears drawing you heart pictures and telling you

you're the best mother in the world...embrace it and live there with him as long as you can.

Go into his room at night and hear his stories and make sure his love bank is filled with mama love..

They do grow up and before you know he's growing into a man and you're a woman missing your little boy...

Wondering where the time went and wondering if you embraced every single moment..

This is the Lord's design and it's a normal part of letting him go but ladies I have to tell you

it's H-A-R-D........

Scott laughs at me and, heck I laugh at myself but letting go is not easy.

I know I have some years to go but we're training him to go.. We're training him to not need us.

So a part of me feels like screaming to get off the ride....the ride of letting him go........

but I have to remember to embrace these moments and trust in this journey that every

mother and every son must and will go through..