Friday, August 8, 2008

"What about socialization?"

If you homeschool, you have been asked this...or presented with this argument. I have always answered this in a mild non conflictory(new word) manner. Things like "well we are around a lot of other homeschool kids, we are involved in a lot of extracurricular activities, etc etc"

Not any more.....I no longer think that way.

If you have the cojone's to ask me that question, then you should hear the true answer, not some watered down "lets all just get along" answer.


{new friend}"You guys homeschool?, I know some people that do that, one of the reasons that we never tried it was because we want our kids to be socialized,"

{me} "Really? what exactly are you saying? Do you mean that I should be allowing my 15 year old daughter to be under the 5 day a week 7 hours a day influence of a government that has made it illegal to pray to God, to worship Jesus, in public? does socialization mean I should allow my daughter to be vaccinated as early as the age of NINE years old for a virus that is spread through SEX? Is that what you mean by socialization?......

OK I probably would not say that...but I do think it.

Point number 2....most of the people who might ask me this question are Christians. I WILL ask them to point out to me in the Bible where God commanded me to "socialize my kids"

God did say to "train up a child" ... he didn't say "it takes a village"

Most Christians would say that their children are a light in the dark world. That is the reason they send them to a state run public institution. Hide them under a bushel "NO" I'm gonna let them shine....

Well since most of the kids in my part of the country are "Christian" that argument doesn't hold water.

Why don't you enroll them in a muslim or hindu school?

I don't believe is a load of crap. Get real and tell the truth, the reason you don't homeschool is because of YOUR own selfishness. You want little JR to be a big football star, "he can learn leadership skills out on the field" Sure he can, but is that why he is there?

Little Princess is a member of all of the school clubs, and she is at all of the church youth functions.... where is your heart in this matter Mom and Dad? Is your pride in her involvement or in her ability to be a God fearing and God obeying young lady?

Socialization is code word for what? In political circles it is one step away from red blooded american wants to be a socialist....
I know ... that's not what we are talking about.

Are my kids socialized? My Little Princess is 15, she rooms with her 2 year old sister, she helps teach her 6 year old brother and her three year old brother, she helps to train and instruct and discipline (gasp! another politically incorrect about that later) her 2 year old sister and her 2 year old brother.

She interacts daily with people from our neighborhood, from our grocery stores, our post office, she goes to work with her Dad one day a week as part of her education,

but all of this is done under the protection of her mother and me her Dad.
Recently, in a fun way she was chided as being raised in a protected environment, you know what? that person was right...she is being protected from the world, because even tho we are in it we are not of it.. 1st Peter says we are aliens in a strange country.

Back to the point...."What about socialization"

Do you ever wonder why a guy like Dave Ramsey has taken off like a wildfire? Especially among the Christian community? Why are so many parents struggling to make ends meet? Both parents work, only 2 kids, "we can't afford anymore"....

We can't afford more kids because we have too many new "things" cars, boats, houses, etc. Dave Ramsey is successful because most americans are in debt....

what has this got to do with socialization? when JR and Little Princess are in a state controlled institution they are subjected to the constant temptation to break the commandment "Thou shalt not covet"....

"Suzie has a cell phone, she said her Daddy would feel better about her being out at night if she could call him {ring ring ring"Daddy I want you to give me some advice, these friends that I go to church with want me to do......( you fill in the blank) what do you say?) would that conversation take place? NO.....Little Princess would "never call Daddy" in the middle of a social crisis for advice. So why the cell phone? more socialization

Why do we think there is very little difference in the percentage of divorces in churched people and in non churched people? has socialization worked? are we a light? or are we drowning in the darkness?

Debt, divorce, sexual sins like adultery, fornication, whether same sex or opposite sex, the Bible calls it all an abomination. Why do these things continue to balloon?

One word....socialization

It's time we took on the responsibility of raising our children to fear and to love God....and stop giving our children up to be indoctrinated by the money loving self promoting idea of socialization

This is a late night post by Scott...


Olivia said...

You're back!! I knew this was a "Mr. White post" when I saw the Nazi picture. :oD

I completely agree with you. Whenever I tell someone that I am home schooled, that is almost always their first question.

But who is really the unsocialized one? The child who stays in a room with 30 other kids her age, or the girl who is home with children of all ages and also out and active in her community who MUST learn to get along with everyone?

In 'real life', for which we must be "socialized", do adults only talk/work/associate with people their own age?


Besides as you said the social in most public schools is not the social we want our kids to emulate.

Kathy, Jeff's Wife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Scott. . . . . great post. I would like to add a comment about the light in the darkness. . .That, of course, comes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5. "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men" (Matthew 5:13). What you described, the result of unhealthy socialization, equals "the salt loses its flavor."

However, I will add if I may :-)(to all you homeschoolers out there--which I am one) homeschooling does not equal "salt and light," it just gives you as the parent the opportunity to train them up 24/7 (like Scott or maybe Kathy said). To disciple them and mentor them, giving them the sanctifying influence of a godly, loving, nurturing, but discipleship-oriented environment (your home). I would like to encourage you (blog readers, I know the Whites already do)to take advantage of this awesome opportunity you have and do not neglect and waste the time you have with them. Training them is a sacrifice and requires dying to self daily (which is not always easy).

Perhaps through God's grace, in God's grace, and with God's grace, we may be faithful. "But as for you, breathren, do not grow weary in doing good" (2 Thessalonians 3:13). And, as for us, we are trusting God for the harvest. . ."He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it" (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

jcw said...

Perhaps you should ask the person who asks you such personal questions who socialized him/her - well mannered and well socialized people do not ask relative strangers such personal questions. One thing I don't get is - if you feel your lifestyle choice is sanctioned by God, why be so angry and defensive about it??

mommyofmany said...

I so agree with all that's been said.

When we began home education 20+ years ago, I started becoming more and more aware of how silly the socialization question is. Once I thought it through, I knew that keeping my children home so that I could influence and guide their interaction with others--of all ages--made much more sense than sending them off to spend most of their time with other fools (since "foolishness is bound in the heart of a child").

Then I read another definition for socialization in the dictionary: "To place under government or group ownership or control." Hmmm... that's definitely NOT what I want to do with my children.

God gave these precious children to my husband and me, making US responsible for their training. We want to take our job seriously, and that takes time and commitment.

Scott said...

In response to Julie, there is no anger, defensiveness yes....I am defending my position, but not angrily....why did you view my comments as angry?

jcw said...

You know it's hard to tell someone's mood from their writing - it just had an angry feel to me, somehow. I guess I just misinterpreted it! :)

Anonymous said...

Well said. Someone asked me about this recently regarding my pre schoolers. (I have ages 3-14). "Don't you want him to learn to get along with other kids his own age?"

I smiled at the person and said, "oh yeah...I want him to be around 20 other kids that grab, whine, kick, show off,etc.... that sounds like a good influence!!" snicker, snicker.

Well said Scott. Let's hear more!! Love, The Horrocks

klewis101 said...

Now Scott... You can show your frustration with those who question homeschooling without calling those who might choose to send their children to school lazy selfish Nazi's can't you???

Anonymous said...

I just want to say, as a homeschooling dad, I am glad to have other brothers like you. I do not see you as angry, bitter, self-righteous, anti-social, or a government school hater. I see you as a loving dad who is raising his kids to live in this world and not be owned by it. I probably would and have offended some well intentioned people with my response to their snipes at my stance on homeschooling.

I think it is about time that we plant our feet and square our shoulders and get off the defensive. As you said, that is what many homeschooling families do.

I do not desire conflict; however, if conflict comes over living out the truth that I find in God's Word then so be it. As a Christian, we find ourself being the odd ones in this world. That is a good thing.

Hitler said, "I do not care if their parents come with use or not. I already have their children."

I am not raising children to feed to the wolves. I am doing my very best at training champions of the faith that will not back down, shut up, or just get along with this Godless society. I am giving my very best to raise children that choose God's way over the world's way.

Is it tough? Yes. Do we have to sacrifice? Yes. Does everyone agree with us? No. Is is worth it? YES!!

Jesus died for me. I am not my own. I cannot and will not give my children over to some organization that will not point my child to God. The world's view of socialization is not God's view. The world says, put them in a room with 20 + pagans, force them to tolerate and not speak against them. SO that they can get along and be well liked by all their peers. Nope, can't do it. Jesus died for me and He told me not to be polluted by this world. He told me to train up my child. Not the government.

I realize that you cannot swim in this sea and not be stained by it. I also know that Jesus Christ overcame this world and paved the way so that I could follow God's way.

Let the world do what they want to do. If they want to serve this world, choose it. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. My prayer is that more Christians will raise their children in accordance to God's will, not this culture's.

The Lord will vindicate us! TO God be the glory!!!

~ Eric

Anonymous said...

Kristi, Of course you are not lazy!

But Ryan did tell about that time you got caught painting swastikas on the
water tower.....


Tell everyone we said Hi, Hope your new home suits you well.


Melissa said...

Um, yeah...Amen!

Mama in Uganda said...

I realize you wrote this a few years ago, but I just have to say Thank You for speaking the Truth!


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