Thursday, July 15, 2010

Lessons From the Road

What if at the end of a long day you say "this one was a tough one" ?
What if you recognize some form of rebellion in your child and choose to
over look it because it's hard to keep on keeping on?
What if someone says something that is unkind and you are commanded to forgive.

What if you have a special needs child and you are charged by God to live out this life joyfully doing hard things trusting in your Father who gave you this child.
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thessalonians 5:16-18

What if at the end of a 17 hour drive you realize you have been changed yet once again.
My mission field took me across the West last week and I am once again before my father begging for forgiveness for so many things that I learned at the baby conference but one important thing is my job as trainer of my children. I train my children but do I take this as seriously as I should?
What if as mothers we teach our kids to obey but never ever train them?
They have the manners down pat yet they are not trained to help make the burden less on anyone around them.
Except themselves.
As mothers this responsibility falls directly on our shoulders.
It's our job.We cannot continue to raise up self centered immature children. Sounds harsh,
but what is harsh? It is the reality of us dropping the ball as mothers.

We are commanded to train up our children and if not our ill mannered kids will stand before us one day and we will reap what we have sown.
Training is and will forever be a hard dose of standing on the front lines and putting
your boots on and fighting for your child's soul before God. We cannot run, we have to stand and fight.If parents teach children truth with their mouths, without setting the example of righteousness, devotion, wisdom and courage, then children will learn to scorn, disregard or abuse the truth. They will end up as rebels (rejecting the truth), nominal Christians (superficially recognizing the truth, but living like the world) or legalists (treating the truth as a sterile set of rules by which to pass judgment on others).

If you're standing on the front lines and you have not yet drawn a line in the sand then
my dear friend, please do it today. Training is tiring, and frustrating, and aggravating at times but
training is the key to your children passing on to the next generation a love and heavy dose of respect of the Lord who made them. Don't give up on training your children. The Lord is faithful.
Reload your guns today and fight off the enemy who would like nothing more than for you to stand and do nothing.

Quit thinking that you will train when they get older.
That is a lie straight from the devil. You cannot train them when they get older in most cases. 
They will be a stiff necked rebellious teenager. You fight NOW ..

Fight for your children's heart.
Teach them to love big.
Love them exceedingly big.
Help others around you not just once a year but make it a part of your daily life.
Teach them to look at adults and smile and be an encouragement to all around them but most of all
teach them to Fear the Lord. We teach the love of God but we fail to teach the Fear of God.
Look for small holes in their character and don't let up praying and training because it's those small
areas we tend to overlook that are most dangerous.

"Let us beware of the beginnings of backsliding, however small. We never know what we may come to, if we once leave the king's highway. The professing Christian who begins to say of any sin or evil habit, "it is but a little one," is in imminent danger. He is sowing seeds in his heart, which will one day spring up and bear bitter fruit. It is a homely saying, that "if men take care of the pence the pounds will take care of themselves." We may borrow a good spiritual lesson from the saying. The Christian who keeps his heart diligently in little things shall be kept from great falls."~ J.C. Ryle

Over the next few weeks I will be posting some of the things we learned at The Baby Conference and Lord willing, a book on training might be available soon!


Laurel said...

Great post! Look forward to hearing more about what you learned. Wanted to take a little look at one thing that you said ...

"If parents teach children truth with their mouths, without setting the example of righteousness, devotion, wisdom and courage, then children will learn to scorn, disregard or abuse the truth. They will end up as rebels (rejecting the truth), nominal Christians (superficially recognizing the truth, but living like the world) or legalists (treating the truth as a sterile set of rules by which to pass judgment on others)."

While I absolutely agree that it is imperative for parents to set an example ... and I agree that some children MAY end up as rebels, etc... I would not say that they WILL end up as rebels. That is between each child and the Lord.

Also, I want to make sure that parents of young children don't then automatically flip this equation, to think that when young adults do rebel, do become nominal Christians, or do become legalistic, that the parents are to blame for the choices that their young adults have made. Sometimes, this is the case. Other times, parents have trained, parents have set the example, yet still a teen or young adult may choose to rebel against the work of the Lord in their lives.

As the mother of 6 young adult children (and 6 youngers), I know that I am not responsible for the choices that my young adults make. My husband and I trained our children up in the Lord; we set a good example for them; we showed them unconditional love; yet they are the ones that must work out their own individual relationship with Jesus Christ. Thankfully, all 6 of my young adults love the Lord. But, we have walked through trying times of rebellion with a couple of them, while they worked out their own salvation.


Tiffany said...

Hi Robin! We tried so hard to go to the Baby Conference and after I read that you and Kelly were there I couldn't help but wonder if Kathy made it too--then I read her comment that indicated she didn't and couldn't wait to hear EVERY detail!! I follow all your's and kelly's and kathy's blogs.
I have never commented before but thought it time since you got to go to the conference. Please-- between you and Kelly give all that you learned. I knew it was going to be earth shaking and I felt the emotion just reading the topics. I am just waiting for the dvds that I hope will hit Vision Forum soon.
I am looking forward to your posts and have loved reading what you have learned and are learning. Hopefully next year we can make the conference and maybe get to meet you;)
We are from Kevein Swanson's part of the country--Colorado and we've gotten to visit with him and hear him speak on many occasions. Sounds like he was dynamic as usual!! Thanks so much for letting me learn through you!!!


Tiffany said...

Robin, just realized my blogs are accessible through my name, oops! They are a work in progress especially since I really haven't figured out how to do them. Anyway, if you happen to look at what I have begun...well it is the bare bones of a beginning! LOL And excuse the typo on Kevin's name;) Thanks


Tanya said...

But how?
I need help..badly with how to train my children without coming off liking I'm constantly reprimanding or scolding their character...I feel defeated and frustrated..Please share the nuts and bolts of how to implement this...Blessings to your family!

Just A Family said...

the empahasis of the post was summed up at the end with the JC Ryle quote.
"The Christian who keeps his heart diligently in little things shall be kept from great falls."~ J.C. Ryle

Your comment delves into grace and thus is a topic for another post.

Thank you for your comment, I'd love to read any posts you may have on this subject.


Kathy @ Teaching Good Things said...

As the mother of 2 (out of 4) rebels these topics can become really touchy, especially if as parents one has been wounded by hurtful Christians that think they have all the answers - I could write a book about what we have been through.

Anyway, there are no perfect parents, just as there are no perfect kids. If we had the perfect formula we wouldn't NEED Christ! We did the best we knew how to do and in the end there is personal responsibility on both the children (younger and older) to pursue holiness, and responsibility from parents to train and walk the talk.

We can all look back and think of things that *may have* made a difference and hopefully learn from that.

It is all a journey of stumbling, repenting and moving forward. I promise you I have learned as much if not more from my children's rebellion than they have, about God's grace and LOVE!

I am grateful when people encourage others to walk their talk. There are SO MANY that have no clue. I have read and listened to many experts on child training, I glean what I can and leave what does not apply.

THANK YOU Robin for making yourself open enough to share your family with us and the way you encourage all of us to love our husbands and children.

We are all a work in progress!

Just A Family said...

Please know that everything is about God's grace.No-one is a perfect parent but training our children is something we have to do and on that road we ask forgiveness and we walk with fear and trembling before God.
You will not raise children who will never struggle. I struggle daily but Lord willing you will raise children who fear the Lord and that is your Job as mother..


The Ferrill's said...

The conference sounds so awesome! Can't wait to hear more!
You are right about the little reminds me of that verse about those "little foxes" in Song of Solomon.


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