I'm sitting here under this oak feeling
the wind blow and knowing that
I have to go soon.
My time is so little my own
but I wouldn't have it any other
way. There's always something to
do and someone to do it with. It's just
sometimes I want so desperately to be alone
with my thoughts and so I drift just a little
piece through the pasture to my tree and
dream. I dream about all kind of different things
but mostly about Steve Chandler.
I have to admit I feel like a silly girl with silly notions
but try telling that to my heart.
I miss Viola so much.
I haven't seen her but once since the wedding.
I still can't believe she married when she didn't even love
him really. Pa told me that love would come
for them. He said it would sneak in one night
and they would fall deeply in love over time.
He said "Sarah, love doesn't have to hit you
over the head."
I'm sure my sister will be happy but
she hardly knew him.
Yet, she was raised to be a mans wife and he was raised
to be a husband, so you get married and you work it out.
Pa said love will come and I believe him.
I'd rather not wait on love to come,
if it hits me first though, and it has
hit me hard.
Pa and Ma have the kind of love that could have only
been made through time. Love snuck in their house a long time
and their hearts beat at the same time, I do believe.
Ma gets mad at him from time to time but she is always the first
to say "I'm sorry". She said it's her job to respect him and honor
him and so that's her way of doing it.
Pa has said that it's a mans job to make a woman feel cherished and
protected and mama is one of the most cherished women I know.
I hear the dinner bell
I will save my thoughts for another day.
The first entry from the Diary of Sarah Chandler
found under the oak tree on Kornegay Rd.
Dedicated to Chandler White