Why I'm changing

So what causes a farm girl, a food junkie, and a woman that loves to cook comfort foods for her kids want to change to cleaner healthier eating? Well, it's simple.
   

It started as I was laying in the bed with Cullen my then six year old, him crying of a "horrible headache". All he wanted was the darkness and to sleep.

 I slowly left the room and as the door clicked behind me I felt helpless.

His headaches were few when he was six maybe one or two every month.

When he turned seven they came to visit him more and more and finally we 

were told that he was having childhood migraines and that this was very common in children his age. I didn't buy it. I knew something was triggering them and I just had to find out what. I moved him to the front row of the van, wouldn't let him near a computer or video games. I started trying to look up home remedies and make him eat more healthy snacks in case it was a low sugar issue but nothing helped. 

Meanwhile I went to a doctor in Tennessee, because of adrenal symptoms, who believes that our bodies were created to heal themselves, if we would feed our bodies the right food. 
He put me on a gluten free, dairy free, meat free detox for 28 days.

 Sounds painful, huh? 

Well it really wasn't. I did my homework and was fired up to get started so I wouId start feeling better. I did research on gluten and decided to put my whole family to the test. So, this is the chronicles of living gluten, dairy, meat free for 28 days.

The family did a version of this. Gluten free, no dairy but some meat.
 Here is what I learned through the process.

Day 1. Started my new lifestyle for the next 28 days. I have a headache and feel very tired. The kids are having it rough. The sugar detox is going to be hard on them. They are eating every piece of fruit in my kitchen. I don't know if we can afford this. Channie and Cullen are having the worst detox, very hungry and feeling cranky. They're drinking lots of water and I'm feeding them three meals and two healthy snacks but they're still hungry. They were never this hungry on our former diet. (Lots of butter, cheese, homemade pizza etc.)

 Day 2. Woke up this morning feeling like I had never slept. Ugh....Felt flu like all day. I wake up with a headache and go to bed with one. Took a detox bath and felt better. The kids are still hungry all day. Their appetites have increased ten fold. I know we can't afford this.  They're eating twice as much now. Listened to a sermon on forgiveness and laid in the sunshine. Hoping my body gets over the hump sooooon. 

Detox Bath:
1/2 cup baking soda

1/2 cup Epsom salt

3 drops of Lavender oil

Day 3. My supper table looks like something out of a magazine. We have beautiful veggies, gourmet salads, incredible fruits. Just no bread and butter.
 Channie says, "can we make get ya married rolls?"
 Not right now baby girl.
She would eat two rolls or more at supper every night with tons of butter. Just because you're tiny doesn't mean you're healthy. Her little body craving the bread. 

When supper time came around everyone ate anything and everything that was put in front of them. They were more excited about trying new foods and came to love things they never had even tried. Cullen has not had a headache at all.

Day 4. Ordered a Berkey water system and walked for 30 minutes today. I am still very tired feeling and this cooking healthy meals is hard. You have to be on top of every meal. Because everyone is always hungry all of our meals have to be planned out carefully so we don't just bag it all and go out to eat. *sigh* I realized that the way I show love is by cooking for them and now because we're changing the way we eat, I feel kind of bad for not feeding them Pioneer Woman. 

Brown rice and roasted potatoes doesn't sound bad though.

Day 5. Cullen has been headache free for 5 days. 
The kids are starting to feel great. No more cravings or very little. Everyone is not so focused on food and more focused on other things. Maybe we will be able to afford this. I took them to the gym and we all swam for 2 hours. I'm still not feeling great. Flu like symptoms with no fever. The kids have a virus so I'm thankful I get to lay around and hold them and not do too much. 

Day 7. Still not feeling well. Its kind of frustrating. I want to feel better yesterday. Tired, drugged and in slow motion. Come on body, kick in. Cullen is still headache free. Small changes all around and I'm thankful.

Day 8. Still feel yucky..I couldn't go any where even if I wanted to. It's crazy to think I'm going to feel good again. I've lost some weight not sure maybe 5 lbs. Hoping the sun comes out tomorrow. The kids are eating less snacks and eating more at meal time.

Day 9. Feel drugged and slow moving. Learning to cook delicious healthy meals takes my mind off how bad I'm feeling. I always thought I ate healthy enough. Why is my body having to detox so hard? The kids are doing great...I would say adding organic meat and fruit smoothies has truly been the trick for them. I also make banana ice cream with almond milk and honey. It's awesome. I can't have it yet but the kids love it and I didn't have to buy as many groceries this week.  I have to prepare more and investigate what foods have gluten in them and avoid as many as those foods as possible. They are more expensive but so is the doctor and Cullen is still headache free.

Banana Smoothie:

Freeze 4 bananas

1 cup of almond milk

Handful of almonds

1 tablespoon of organic peanut butter

1 tablespoon honey

ice

Day 10. Felt less clouded today, slept great last night. Felt better overall today. Thankful.

Day 11. Feel much better! I feel a little energetic:)

Day 12. Woke up feeling good. Clear headed, hopefully this will last. The sun is out..Fog lifting. 

Fast forward to day 22. Although I have stuck to a very strict diet (as well as Taylor) the kids have each gotten off on the weekend for special dinners or daddy pizza time. I'm not so naive to think that things won't come up but we get them right back on it at the next meal.   Cullen is still headache free and Channie is no longer having "stomach issues". She would eat and 20 mins later say, "my stomach hurts"...She has not had a stomach ache in 3 weeks.

Taylor feels better than she ever has. She said she will never go back to eating

the way we did.

I have lost 11 lbs and been swimming 4 days a week with the kids. I have energy again. I feel clear headed. I can think and I feel great! 

Some people don't believe a healthy diet can impact your life others just refuse to change. It's a hard transition and believe me when I say that.

But it's been 22 days and Cullen is still headache free.

I have not had to sneak out of a dark room and wonder what I could do to make him feel better.

So we will continue on our journey of healthy meals. We are learning to cook  healthy using lots of fruits and veggies.

Example Menu at The White House

Breakfast:

 organic rice cereal, almond milk and bananas 

   gluten free oats with honey and raisins

smoothies

Snack:

fruits 

applesauce

hummus with veggie sticks

kale chips

Lunch: 

sweet potatoes and quinoa 

green beans and steamed cabbage 

gluten free pasta with sauteed mushrooms and onions

Snack:

banana ice cream

apples and organic peanut butter

chips (homemade from organic corn tortillas) and salsa

Dinner:

Mexican Night

(black beans, homemade salsa, homemade chips, guacamole, mexican rice)

Ratatouille over rice pasta

Garlic roasted potatoes with carrots, green beans and apple pecan salad

All of us...

"as you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. otherwise you will miss most of your life." 

I watch out my window, them pushing snow. How her little hands slid into pink gloves. My how they have grown. I am enjoying this season of life with

loose teeth

boys growing tall

the way she can read now

the way I had a little person laying next to me last night just because. 

Reaching over in the middle of the night and feeling the breathing. The life next to me.

The cup of coffee that was brought to my bed side.

The way he calls me his "beautiful bride" even

 though we've been married for almost 21 years.

 I, being self conscious, push my hair back realizing what I must

look like. He says I'm beautiful. I look down.

Could he still think that?

Really? I sip my coffee and we talk. Me bundled in covers

and slowly they come and climb under the covers with me.

Until it's all of us.

The night before me drifting off to sleep with a bed full and Andy Griffith.

All of us. 

This stage of gangly legs and toothless grins.

The nights they would rather be with us instead of without us.

I love the way winter slows us down.

I try and stay focused on my chores but my eyes keep looking heavenward.... wanting to see the sun.

It feels like forever since her warmth clothed me.

  

Be content I keep telling myself and myself responds only half the time.

I want what I don't have.

The warmth of a day.

More time with my husband who seems

to be in a busy season.

Everyone well at the same time.

More time to work out.

More time to sit here and write out my every day so when I look back

I'll remember, they'll remember.

More More More

Not all bad things but things I crowd my mind and heart with. 

Be content in whatever season you're in

I must continue to practice this.

I have to go out in the cold....walking through the snow to check on the numerous animals on the farm. The crunching under foot and the flakes in my hair.

The kitten who blends into the beautiful back drop of the painting of my life.

The cow named Rosebud who moos at me as I go to check on her one more time. 

My house warm.

My stove holding a huge pot of soup.

My fireplaces going.

Hot chocolate for everyone, warm blankets and long books.

Am I sure I'm living in this moment instead of

getting through it?

Can I smell and see and taste that it is good?

My life is good.

Trees heavy with the beauty of the color white

My heart free to love deeply these portraits of God's.

His paint brush so beautiful on the farm and on

my life and on me.

Learn to

“Learn to like what doesn’t cost much.
Learn to like reading, conversation, music.
Learn to like plain food, plain service, plain cooking.
Learn to like fields, trees, brooks, hiking, rowing, climbing hills.
Learn to like people even though some of them may be different… Different from you.
Learn to like to work and the satisfaction doing your job as well as it can be done.
Learn to like the song of birds, the companionship of dogs.
Learn to like gardening, puttering around the house, and fixing things.
Learn to like the sunrise and sunset, the beating of rain on the roof and windows, and the gentle fall of snow on a winter day.
Learn to keep your wants simple and refuse to be controlled by the likes and dislikes of others.”

-Lowell C. Bennion

Don't pass down unchipped china

 The needs piling up with flu season and 6 kids down. My teaching must continue even when I don't feel like it or feel like I have the time. It's the best time to teach love and empathy when tempers are short and fevers are hot- they need forgiveness. I attempt to teach them to walk the road with love and sympathy because it might be you next with red cheeks and feeling bad. 

I spend my day teaching compassion and forgiveness. Yes, teaching.
Some people think that it's something you're born with, others think it's something you'll pick up some where along the way. Jesus taught His disciples saying, "blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." " Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy." 
Don't we know all of this?? If we were born to it then why did he teach it? I'm not that great of an example. I'm still learning. My children were not born with mercy. They were not born knowing how to love or show love. I had to teach them. So I press on teaching things like "bless those who persecute you". Forgive people who hurt you. 
You have to love your brothers and sisters now and build a relationship that will  still be standing years from now. Seldom done these days. Families scattered, brothers and sisters living miles from each other and no relationship.  It takes work and forgiveness to be in any kind of relationship they need to be practicing these skills now at an early age.    

I watch him check her temperature on a rainy day and she gently leans in and rest her head on his arm. He's whispering to her that she's gonna be okay. She trusts. She has no reason not to and he does what I've taught him. Nurture, care for the sick. When your sister is sick comfort her and serve her.This will do you good to know for your entire life.  Do small things with great love. Now before you go off thinking we are this perfect family I will remind you that we are not. My children fight and fuss. They are short tempered at times and they have to be reminded a lot to be gracious..(they're a lot like their mama.) Just setting the record straight. I never want to be a stumbling block to you that read my personal journal/thoughts..        

The wood on my table continues to be my go to place to teach and love on them. With a table the possibilities are endless. The hours spent serving at and feasting at my table are priceless. So why do I go through so much trouble to make supper so special? Birthdays a celebration; losing your first tooth a day to remember? Christmas a time for traditions, going out to restaurants, going on vacations that they will remember for their whole life? Just intentional everyday living. Unfortunately our world is screaming out to our kids and I want my voice to be heard in their lives. So I give them my time, my energy, when they're sick I try and  make a sweet dwelling place and give them comfort, When I'm sick they in return give me double the attention and love.   So I don't put my kids to bed and have a party or save the best for when the kids aren't around. We give them the best. We want them to know they are worthy of our best.   

  Our mission field to our children starts at our table. Don't pass down unchipped china, let it be banged up with lots of memories scattered around your dining room.

So during this season of flu and ear-aches I slow down and devote my time and energy to those around me. As I write I have a fevered up little girl laying on me. Exhausting work but the pay is incredible.  

A well placed thought

 Walking the long driveway the gravel gives way under my feet. The mailbox overflowing with cards from friends far and wide.The bitter cold reminding me that this year is almost over. Come and gone. The cold has us indoors a lot and I'm reading words more than ever. Not feeling like myself lately. All the change that takes place in ones life in a year has taken it's toll on me. With having 13 children over the summer and running on next to nothing but keeping on because someone needed to. Having a bustling farm with new animals to train and then the winter. 

 I'm doing a lot of thinking..which my husband says is never good.   

Thinking about my life and how odd it seems to be moving out of the "baby stage" and into the "middle stage" of my life.

Not having to buy diapers or get up in the middle of the night. Having the freedom to go places and see new things with all my children is all different. I have always had a baby for the past 20 years and so now when I find myself in a new place I go from wanting to cry to wanting to dance? 

Strange place I know, but I get to do all the things I never could.

I get to sleep in a little, and I have everyone helping so things don't seem so overwhelming. My older young adults are doing things outside of the home

and I see what's happening. I go from crying out to God to stop everything

to being excited at what the next stage holds.

But right now a calm is settling over the farm after years of survival mode and I'm trying to decide if I like the way that sounds.

I haven't figured that out yet. 

You'll be the first to know when I do.

Years running on an adrenal rush now I'm watching them and enjoying them like never before. I get to know them in a way that has seemed impossible until now.

Seeing them move into the middle stage with me. Seeing and feeling how they need me so much more the older they get. I always thought it odd when people would say that.

 "oh they'll need you more when they're 18-21" 

I couldn't imagine that but now I know it's true.

 Hours of counseling and reassuring. 

There is no feed, diaper and put to bed.

 These are real issues for them and so you make room in your bed and they lay in the darkness talking and I'm listening.

 I have taught them in they way they should go like proverbs instructed me

and now I have to step back and let God take them the rest of the way.

Helping them make career choices

Praying like never before for

 Godly spouses.

You always pray that prayer "Lord, please be preparing

their spouses" but when you have to be patient and wait with

them you learn that their faith is required.

They have to believe that God has the perfect person for them but its His timing not ours. And well, this can seem to take forever for them.

I believe that 18-21 has been and will be the testing ground for what I have taught them. I have come up short in some areas believe me, so I take notes on what I'll be doing different with the new batch coming up:)

Yeah, it all takes more time and a lot more patience and it takes a lot of change

from me. From being the one in charge to letting go and letting them take a leap of Faith and know that God has this.

Don't delay..

"Yet it is by a little procrastination that men ruin their souls. They do not intend to delay for years-a few months, they say, will bring the more convenient season-tomorrow they will attend to serious things; but the present hour is so occupied and so unsuitable that they beg to be excused. Like sands from an hourglass, time passes; life is wasted by driblets, and seasons of grace lost by a little slumber.
Oh, to be wise, to catch the fleeting hour, to use the passing moments!"  Charles Spurgeon

We took a walk and we hung Christmas ornaments on the outside trees in our woods. She was standing on tippy-toes and the trees seemed to bend their branches to accept her decorations. It was beautiful seeing the naturalness of sunlight and pine trees being adorned by their tiny hands. The birds singing their songs as if saying thank you. Taking some effort to take little legs to the edge of the woods but I want to have memories all over this farm and in order to do that I have to take advantage of every single moment. Last night the kitchen was filled with a huge pot of chicken pot pie soup with biscuits so hot that you couldn't get enough. The candle light flickering and the bellies full. The conversation turned to our memory verse, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see the Lord". The singing of away in a manger and little girls getting out of their seats to sit in our laps.

 These are the moments that the hands of time will never be able to take away.
We do this every night over soup or pizza, it doesn't matter, we feast and

 we celebrate the time we have.

Try this and be amazed at how much they eat

Chicken Pot Pie Soup

YIELD: SERVES 4-6

 

TOTAL TIME: 30-45 MINUTES

ingredients:

1 sheet puff pastry, thawed
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 sweet onion, diced
1 cleaned and trimmed leek, sliced
1/3 cup chopped carrots
1/4 cup chopped celery
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken stock
1 cup lowfat half and half
1.5 pounds yukon gold potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch chunks
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/2 cup frozen corn

directions:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

Heat a large pot over medium heat and add olive oil and butter. Stir in onions, carrots, celery, leeks, salt and pepper, tossing to coat, then let cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook for 30 seconds, then stir in flour. Stir well to distribute the flour throughout the vegetables and coat them, then cook for about 3-5 minutes, stirring to create somewhat of a roux and thickening agent. Most of the flour will stick to the vegetables, but you do want it to turn a slightly golden color and smell a bit nutty. (ha... that sounds interesting.)

At this point, use a biscuit cutter (or even a knife) and cut 12 "biscuits" out of your thawed puff pastry sheet. Place them on a baking sheet (brushing with some beaten egg if desired) and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown.

Add in potatoes, chicken stock and half and half to the soup, stirring and allowing the mixture to come to a bubble. Reduce heat to medium low, add in chicken, peas and corn and cover, simmering for 10-15 minutes. Taste and season with more salt and pepper if needed. Serve with puff pastry on top!

We walked the path to Williams grave to put his ornaments on the trees that surround the place I go to talk to him and God. Burning eyes as I remember he's missing another Christmas with us, but then reminding myself that really I'm missing the real Christmas he celebrates everyday with the Lord. My little man in heaven and I'm here getting through each day without him but never forgetting my babies that have gone before me and that are waiting.

Always celebrating

The girls know their brother William as we talk of him often and as we walk the path their whispers of his name makes me smile. It's so calm there and their whispers and the swaying of the trees always helps me to breathe a little deeper. 

Always helps me to remember the living.  

I tried to plan this around their good morning moods, but apparently I was a little late. They wouldn't smile and then Josie just completely gave up..Hands on hips, arms crossed. So that's why you find yourself looking at the backs of my precious daughters. 

 I give lots of grace because so often I feel like crossing my arms and in spirit I do, so I stoop low and make them smile and remind them of things they have to be happy about, like ice-cream and movies a mama that loves them to the moon and back and that usually gets them perked back up. I start running and they chase after me. I have to be someone they want to follow.

I try.

Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves of the gifts, to get our attitudes right.  

Don't put off take care of the small things now.

Right before my eyes they're back to smiling and running and happy...

My example only works if I do the same.

 This Christmas is shaping up to be less about the presents as in I've not bought one single thing and its more about the here and now. The feasting and the fellowship with friends, Christmas parades, baking cookies, great movies and lots of time together. This year we want to buy books for them all.

 Good books wrapped with big bows that they can pass down to their children. Maybe a comfy blanket and a flashlight.    

A huge breakfast that lasts for at least a couple of hours as Scott reads

the Christmas story.

Simplicity is beautiful
I will not put off this hour or any hour to celebrate the daily living of my life and the lives of my children.

Puddles from the day

Posted from the archives

The street was lined with the puddles from the day. My mind taking in the beauty of umbrellas and the girls under their temporary covering. I'm not sure how to explain what I want to say. How much I enjoy their company and their sweetness. Being with my children makes everything better and rain won't stop this, it just adds to the back drop of us being together. We shopped and made memories and laughed and bought and then broke bread together.

We sampled and we held hands. We captured the magic of that rainy day together. Taylor whispering in my ear how very much she loves me and Channie's reminders of her thinking this was the best day ever (In case you've missed it Channie Mae thinks everyday is the best day ever). I can't help but to capture the whole afternoon with my camera lens. Seeing each day as the gift that it was meant to be. I capture moments and when the pictures are downloaded it takes me back and it makes the girls act all silly and say 'oh we had so much fun mom'. It keeps our memories alive and breathing. We all tend to get caught up and forget what we did yesterday. I don't want to forget. God's goodness and his mercy that He, the creator, allows me to breathe, much less parent, some of His finest creations.  

Willing into her memories the life lessons that I teach. Being there and sharing in her joy as she tastes a new kind of honey for the first time. Being there as the sheer excitement of walking in the rain overwhelms her. It captures her love of wet streets and the wind that threatens to take her umbrella away.  I'm able to capture her smile, her innocence of such things that seem to take her by surprise. It's just rain right? It's so much more to Channie Mae. It's all new. I look at our shopping adventure through her eyes. Every breeze or wet drop made her squeal with delight. Every puddle something to jump over. Every scent something to linger over. This little girl teaches me so much about life and loving. When I hear "Love like a child loves" (or something like that) I think of Channie. Her love is simple.....It's BIG......I  want to love like Channie

I'm able to capture with my lens one of my early Christmas presents. That little wicker basket is one of the gifts she bought me and gave it to me early. It now holds the books that I read to the little ones. I have it by my chair and the reminder of where it came from brings a smile on my face. Her love, her spirit, is so contagious. My friend, my daughter...the one who keeps me humble and the one who stands next to me in the trenches everyday. The one who lives simply. Who loves huge. The girl whom I've grown up with so to speak. The Lord has used her in my life in a mighty way. I know when I'm older, much older, I will stand by her. Lord willing, I will  be the friend that she needs as she starts her family. Don't think I don't know that I have to let her go one day. I will let her go when the Lord sends the right man into her life. Right now though I enjoy her. I love talking to her. I love seeing her nervous and sleepy. I love seeing her on Dr. Pepper. I love seeing her sipping tea and holding babies. I love seeing her get all excited over a nice knife. I love when she says, "I want to go hunting.. just once!" 

I don't know, all of my girls keep me snapping pictures and wondering what the Lord has in store for each and everyone of them. They're all so unique and who they are makes me different.

I would trade nothing I have for the time I get to spend with my Children. I love my friends but I would much rather be in the kitchen with Tay or playing blocks with the little girls, throwing the football with the boys or just curled up watching a movie with all of them. I often take walks across our land and I'll say, " So, Channie where are you going to build your house?" and she'll point and say, "right there mom" 100 steps from my back door..I let out a breath because I know her home will probably not be on this farm but a girl can dream can't she?  

I call her name and my lens catches the look of the day. Standing in the crowd of a candy shop she looks for me and listens for my voice and her eyes catch mine and her smile is a mixture of surprise and of knowing. Knowing that I would be capturing this moment. I'm kinda crazy like that.

 As we leave we all three share a small umbrella and they keep telling me to take it because they don't want me to get wet. Who am I to deserve such incredible daughters? I did get wet that day but only because I wanted to feel the rain and wanted to taste the day I spent shopping with my girls. A day that is captured.

Farm Moments

"hang in there. it is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen."

Riding in the back of the truck with all the feed and my girls and dogs.

Talking to my pigs, giving our rabbits carrots, and sticking my hand deep inside her nesting box and feeling life. Playing with my cow and sitting on the tail gate talking to my oldest son as he talks about his life, his future, and his dreams. Heavy bags of feed being pulled up and over the bed of the truck. My laugh easy as he tells me details of his thoughts.

Her blond hair and bare feet run across this dirt and she pokes her head on the rabbit wire trying to get a peek at our newest additions, 15 baby rabbits. Life after the death is more joyful. She smiles again and falls in love again with uncertain things like baby rabbits and cows. She can't help herself. She is my daughter after all and she is just like me. We live to love. A busy day on the farm trying to take it all in and be astonished at the small beautiful animals and people who share this slice of heaven with me.

   

May my steps be steady

Teaching my children to stay the course is harder as they get older.

Walk on and don't be tempted by the things of this world; the people of this world. Keep your eyes fixed on the Lord's plan for your life, don't become so familiar with ease that you crave it. The valley, the hard times, is and will be some of the most life changing.

We memorize scripture a lot more lately because in my time of 20 years of mothering and homeschooling I am realizing that what my children need the most is scripture. As I see my oldest making adult decisions I see them going back to the word of God in their life. I used to fret and worry that one of them didn't get their math problems right, well now I know that getting relationships right is a lot more important. As they become adults you will realize that math they can get eventually but trying to teach humility and meekness is almost impossible if you wait. 

 If you have small ones in your home please understand your time. Really, your window is so small to teach those in your care. The clock is ticking and you have to so surround them with God and His word that everything they touch, smell, eat or drink is all because of the Lord's goodness to them. Teach them gratitude. So glad we taught this early with my older ones. I can't imagine trying to teach it now at 20;)

So often, when families have adults and little ones the little ones get left to themselves a lot because the parents are busy with counseling and getting their older ones to the next level that they take their eyes off the younger ones and their window of opportunity closes. We must stay on course. We must not think because they're small now that we have plenty of time. Keep on the road He has planned out for you. To raise up a generation of children that can pass down to their children the knowledge of Him. A hefty load of responsibility and for the mom of young adults some days I'm just wiped out but I can't be, I have little ones who need the instruction and training I gave the older ones. 

My eyes have to be steady on the future and I cannot grow weary.

   
Psalm 119 1-8

  You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. 2You're blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. 3 That's right - you don't go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. 4 You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. 5 Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; 6 Then I'd never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. 7 I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. 8 I'm going to do what you tell me to do; don't ever walk off and leave me.