"as you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. otherwise you will miss most of your life."
I watch out my window, them pushing snow. How her little hands slid into pink gloves. My how they have grown. I am enjoying this season of life with
boys growing tall
the way she can read now
the way I had a little person laying next to me last night just because.
Reaching over in the middle of the night and feeling the breathing. The life next to me.
The cup of coffee that was brought to my bed side.
The way he calls me his "beautiful bride" even
though we've been married for almost 21 years.
I, being self conscious, push my hair back realizing what I must
look like. He says I'm beautiful. I look down.
Could he still think that?
Really? I sip my coffee and we talk. Me bundled in covers
and slowly they come and climb under the covers with me.
Until it's all of us.
The night before me drifting off to sleep with a bed full and Andy Griffith.
All of us.
This stage of gangly legs and toothless grins.
The nights they would rather be with us instead of without us.
I love the way winter slows us down.
I try and stay focused on my chores but my eyes keep looking heavenward.... wanting to see the sun.
It feels like forever since her warmth clothed me.
Be content I keep telling myself and myself responds only half the time.
I want what I don't have.
The warmth of a day.
More time with my husband who seems
to be in a busy season.
Everyone well at the same time.
More time to work out.
More time to sit here and write out my every day so when I look back
I'll remember, they'll remember.
More More More
Not all bad things but things I crowd my mind and heart with.
Be content in whatever season you're in
I must continue to practice this.
I have to go out in the cold....walking through the snow to check on the numerous animals on the farm. The crunching under foot and the flakes in my hair.
The kitten who blends into the beautiful back drop of the painting of my life.
The cow named Rosebud who moos at me as I go to check on her one more time.
My house warm.
My stove holding a huge pot of soup.
My fireplaces going.
Hot chocolate for everyone, warm blankets and long books.
Am I sure I'm living in this moment instead of
getting through it?
Can I smell and see and taste that it is good?
My life is good.
Trees heavy with the beauty of the color white
My heart free to love deeply these portraits of God's.
His paint brush so beautiful on the farm and on
my life and on me.