I feel new to this mommy thing sometimes. I'm always trying to teach my boys to be 'tough' and teach my girls to be 'ladies'. Well today, in the midst of the rush of the front door slamming for the hundredth time, I hear the cries of my little fellow. I stop what I'm doing and go to him long
enough to say "you'll be alright" and the brown eyes look back as if to say " yeah, I will, but I just wanted something". As he was walking off he leaned in and kissed himself on the arm and as if the place had healed almost instantly he was on his way. I stared and then I instantly drug this cute little three year old back and sat down in front of him and looked for his hurt. I looked for something to kiss. I looked for a way to make up for the moment I had just lost. The moment for my kisses to make it all better.The moment for me to be his hero. The moment for me to make a difference in his little life.
I have very few moments in Cullen's life where my kisses will heal his hurt. When my kisses will make it all better, and I blew it today.
I kissed him and I kissed him, over and over, until we we're both laughing.Until I could feel the forgiveness that I so desperately needed.
Last night Cullen was lying in bed beside me, under the clean crisp sheets and the warmth set in between us and I said "Cullen, do you want to get married when you grow up?" and he said, "yes ma'am" and I said, "who do you want to marry?" and he said, "mama". I know I beamed..I know my heart flooded..
I could not possibly deserve this kind of love in my life. I know what the Lord meant when He said we have to have faith like a child, because my children love me unconditionally and without regard to how I look that day or how much I blow it. They just love me. I guarantee I will not miss another chance to share my kisses to make it all better for anyone in my house.......
Lord, cause me to draw near today--to You, to others. Relationships are all there is.