My days are filled and sometimes I get so busy that I fail to see everything that I need to. I see love, I see conflict between my children and me and Scott on occasion.
I see the wondering of one of my children seeing something big as life when I've seen the same thing thousands of times and have forgotten that it is special. I fail to see my life through the eyes of my Father. My Father's world right here in front of me and I fail to see it.
The days around here sometime feel as if they all run together. Sometimes I have the flickering hope that they, being the children, got what I was trying to teach them yesterday only to see that flicker snuffed out today.
I scarcely know how to proceed on such days.
Everyday my view changing so that I see things differently.( This is one of the many reasons I will never write a book on parenting or tell you for certain that the way I'm doing it is the best way because I feel terribly unqualified.) Maybe when I'm 70 and my children are well vested in their life and are walking out their faith and are not messed up to the point that they may need counseling :) then I might write a book.
I'm not saying I won't mentor younger moms because I do and I will give you my opinion if asked, but to have my thoughts on paper might just seem to me, wasted paper.
Right now my view is always changing, because the Lord is always changing and working on me. He has so much work left to do and I keep asking him if he's going to finish this work in me before I mess everything up. (He gets my humor)
So I'm forever looking at things different. Getting a different perspective each day. Always seeing if it lines up with the word of God. If it doesn't then yet again I change the way I do it because my pride leads me down deceiving paths that I almost believe that I'm right a lot of the time.
To see is everything. To see where God has you and where God wants you. To see where God wants your children and everyday push them more to be there in that place that He wants them not where you want them.
To wake up before the dawn and see the world around you before the Lord warms it with His sun.
You need Him in this journey of mother-hood. No-one has all the answer's except for him. Glean from others but sit at His feet and pester Him for the true answer's, and I do daily.
I see new days, new sun-rises as a day to reteach what I taught yesterday and keep teaching it until they have it. I see a new day to love and to show such sweet kindness within my walls maybe a gentleness that is unrecognizable by the world outside my living room windows.
To see my home, my failures, my victories through the eyes of God because what I think doesn't matter anyway.