Monday, July 30, 2012

Joyful Rise

Awake my soul, and with the sun
Thy daily stage of duty run:
Shake off dull sloth and joyful rise
To pay thy morning sacrifice.

Rising early and seeing the beauty in my front yard. I am thankful for this days work.
 I have a full day of work ahead of me with all the children and cooking, cleaning,
canning, and teaching. My time being spent at home lately. More than ever before
I feel the need to just sit and enjoy the blessings of all these children and the animals.
What is the Lord trying to teach me?
 Not to complain about my work?
To be content in my home.
To do my duty.
To learn to love those that have joined our family recently.
He has changed everything about my life.  
At first I said, "I can't do all of this, Lord".
Really I couldn't do it all. I had to realize that only He could. He by slowly walking me through each day and sending just enough manna to get me through my days.
Crying tears and wondering if, while giving myself over and peeling back one more selfish layer
of "me", I could survive.  I have so many..selfish desires and habits.
Lord forgive me. 

Losing the me that I used to know and losing the life we had before and
God replacing the old life with a beautiful new life.
A fuller life with new people to spend my day with. I have learned a few things about
this old person I called me. All the answers I thought I knew, I knew nothing.
All the things that used to work, don't work anymore.
My whole train of thought is just making much of Jesus because believe me,
when I say I have made much of a mess when my thoughts are inward focused.
I sleep less, yet feel more rested.
I cook more food, but the budget has stayed the same.
I didn't have enough room in my van for 5 extras but God
provided me with a beautiful gray seat that was sitting in some new friends
basement. They didn't have any idea why they saved that seat.
 "It's been sitting down there for over a year." 
It just happened to fit our van and it was the very same color as our other
seats. Coincidence? I think not. I had prayed with my children for God
to provided us with a seat. He provided.    

 Living out my days being obedient to what the Lord has called our family to.
My duty
I have to be honest some days I feel like Noah must have felt.
"Look at that freaky man building an ark."

He saved his family though and I feel like work and responsibility will save our family.
 Not because we're anything special but because
The Lord said build and we're building.
The Lord said feed and we're feeding.
Lastly, the Lord said love and well there's a lot of love going on over here.
The duty has turned into a great privilege and I'm forever
thankful to share what I have with these He has given to me on loan.

"Yes, I want to be a Christian, but no, I don't want to be Your disciple, Lord. Not yet, anyway. It's a bit much to expect." 

"Yes, I'll be a disciple, but no, I certainly don't want to leave self behind."

"I'll leave self behind if You say so, Lord, but don't ask me to take up any crosses. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with that."

"Follow You, Lord? Well, yes, sure-but let me have a little input, won't You, about where we're going?"

Nothing could be further from the the spirit of the Gospel. The very reason Christ died "...was that men, while still in life, should cease to live for themselves, and should live for him who for their sake died and was raised to life."

(Elizabeth Elliot)


Pamela said...

You've challenged me, to accept this new place I find myself--an empty nester. I'm always happy to be home but sometimes the Lord says, "go." Blessings on your sweet family.

Ms. Sigurdson said...

Thank-you Robin,

I am struggling with selfishness and stubborness myself. I want to be like Jesus, but I don't want anything to change! Are these 5 extra darlings now permanent? What a blessing. God added 2 to my family in 2011, and now it looks like 2 more before 2012 is over! Such a challenge, but such a blessing!

carolinatractorgirl said...

Such a lovely farm! The best to you and yours! Stay cool!
Ballance Family Farm

Renata said...

Oh my Robin ~ you know I have been working through some of the same things you mentioned ~ the not complaining. I've challenged myself to never complain again (of course that's impossible, but if I don't aim for perfection than I'll never try). Just to let you know ~ Dave is booked in for his op at the end of the month ~ could you please pray for God's will ( & of course we want it to work, but we want God's will more).


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