Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Doing What I Know
I opened my eyes early this morning and listened to him breathing next to me and knew it was too early to get up. I lay there, eyes closed in the darkness, and prayed. I remember one time a woman telling me if you wake up before everyone else it's because God may have gently woke you up so He could meet with you. So I have this habit of saying "ok, God. I'm awake, I'm listening." I'm reminded of the night before. Fevers, coughs, and runny noses and I put my head under my pillow and realize it's the day I walk out my joy, His joy, even when the day is not perfect. His warm arms move to find me in the dark. It's been one of those weeks where misunderstandings, and schedule conflicts have kept us going in different directions. Not this morning as I lay there talking to God.... He helps me realize that so much of conflict is selfishness. Thinking we know a better way or feeling justified in our feelings when we're mad or hurt. It's always going to be a part of life, but you see my clock keeps reminding me to stay close to him. My dad died 2 years ago and this is the one thing he left me. A clock that he had made. It doesn't work and the glass is broken but It does it's job. Reminding me to slow down.
This morning as I leave my room I know the day ahead will be full of grumpy babies and sick children but I know what to do. I read somewhere that an amateur gets confused and overwhelmed. I'm no amateur. I go straight to my camera and start picking the beauty of the day out of the sickness.
Like how I know when Cullen is sick by the slightest weakness in his eyes. I've held him, I know him and I've studied him. So I just know. That makes me an expert on Cullen. So I'm not confused.
Like the way I know how to pull out black beauty and start my chicken to boiling adding a pitch of salt and olive oil to the water. Knowing she will come in handy just about around lunch time when they will be hungry, but not sure for what. I always make chicken and dumplings and have them simmering on the stove. They can smell them cooking from wherever they're at in the house. I will feed them because I know what they like even before they ask. I'm no amateur.
My living room holds most of them and I stand at the stairs and pray over them and they don't even know.
The coldness of the day will not move into my home. I will keep blankets out and books around and a big pot of chicken and dumplings going on the stove. I will not stop having joy. I will tend to each of them differently. Cooper loves to have you lay with him..Channie does too. Jo loves to be somewhere quiet and sleep it off. Cullen will tell you thank you over and over again for waiting on him. Tuck and Taylor just want to sleep. The girls just want you to hold them, they just want to be around someone.
So it was no surprise when I felt her little soft body crawl in my bed with her dad and I this morning. Josie always wants to snuggle and this morning it was extra special as we whispered to her how much we loved her. My mission field busy this particular day but I had to let you know to count It all joy in whatever it is that this day brings to your doorstep.
blessings from the Farm