Saturday, March 24, 2012

People yelling

He loves to fish and he sits on that pond dam and fishes until I call him in. Shoes off and feet wet just the way he likes it. I can't help sitting out on the porch and watching him. This guy is such a blessing to me and our family.
He is the type of child that is eager to please and easy to love. Oh, the thankfulness that overwhelms me when I think about and re-tell the stories of how this child was the child of restoration for my life for our life.

Remembering the world yelling at me to stop having children....I stopped....

God used him in a mighty way to show me that I could trust Him. He taught me that even though I was unfaithful, He was always at work in my heart to bring me back to the place of allowing Him to give us as many children as He wanted.
We had the surgery and we used every last penny we had in our savings. We prayed for a miracle and we got more.
The people all yelling for us to not do this.
We didn't listen and we got him, we got Cooper and then we got Cullen and Chandler..and yes, we got William even though we won't see him again until heaven.
Take that Satan.
Where you wanted death, God brought life....I will no longer believe your lies or trust what you have to say...I will question everything......I will not believe anyone or anything except my precious Lord.
I will read His word and get my answers.

 We got a son that truly is a remarkable young man who loves the Lord. Every time I think about it I could go to my knees and cry and keep thanking the Lord for this brown eyed fisherman. Where would I be? Where would our family be without his kind spirit and helpful hands? We would be standing in regret for the rest of our lives over what we had done. The Lord was kind and even though our decision to reverse our vasectomy reversal didn't mean He, the giver of life, had to restore my womb but He did. Leaving me changed. Forever
leaving us a legacy of life after death.

He has given life to us at least 10 other times. Some of those precious children are with Him now. He chose for some of my children to never suffer or to ever question. I didn't get to hold them or look into their big brown eyes but I held them for weeks and sometimes months...and William I held for 31 weeks..When you're a mother you start holding them the minute you find out your expecting life.Oh, I don't regret the heart ache or the months of throwing up or the way each pregnancy changed my body or my life... I got to hold life..I will see my little brown eyed William again as well as the others and what a homecoming I will have when I kneel before the Lord and He raises His hands and our little babies coming running, singing and playing and I will see them all and get to hold them again. Get to smell their skin and do all the things that I didn't get to do here. I will look up and see my Father smiling at me. Oh. how I wish I could tell you the road has been easy but in fact it's been a battle. It's been a battle with family, friends, people off the street....but I'm on the front lines fighting because I believe life is better than death...and children are life. Don't listen to the world...don't listen to the people telling you that death is better than life. We are in a battle and it is one that is worth fighting for.  Life is precious, because God created us in His image, all life is precious, and the battle to preserve it at all costs is what I believe God demands of us as believers.



Sammy and Missy Parris said...

LOVED this!!! You are so right the world does yell at us. After number 3 my husband almost had the big V!!! Something just didn't feel right he did not have peace and at the time I couldn't imagine another difficult pregnancy. We were just talking about this last night with our older 3 and said what would we be like today if there hadn't been a Jacob, Sarah, Samuel, Stephen and our sweet baby Daniel that is also in heaven. It hurts to even imagine and are so thankful to the Lord that we finally started listening to him instead of taking the easy way out. What blessings they are and that is what our family is now full of blessings but always welcoming more. Your words spoke to my heart so well!! Thank you!!! My oldest have always wished we had more between the first 4. if only we had been taught that instead of listening to the way of the world. Blessings to you I love to read your blog!!! I always find encouragement from your words. Missy in TN

Heart of Wisdom Academy said...

Thank you for pouring your heart out in your blog posts and reminding us of God's goodness manifisted as tiny blessings.

Renata said...

Dear Robin
Thank you for this post. If there is one time in my life I could change it is when I was standing outside that doctors office while Dave had the big V. I was overwhelmed, young (just 27) & had 4 babies very, very quickly. Our pastor had just had one, both our father's had had one & so we thought it was what you just did (in fact I didn't really have any thoughts, Dave made that decision, but I did go along). 4 years later we were in a microsurgeons office getting our mistake reversed. After a further year of tears we were back in that same office to be told that there was blockages & it hadn't worked. To hear that was devestating ~ you cannot imagine how we felt after doing what we felt God was leading us to do to be told that. But you know what ~ even knowing the outcome I would still get the reversal done again if I had the choice. To know we are right in God's will, to know we are doing what is right is definitely worth the $10000 we needed to find (well actually God miraculously found for us). Many people laugh at us & think we are crazy for even wanting more. Many people don't understand the tears & the hurt this journey has been, but we trust that God has a reason for it all. I know I have had my marriage, my faith & even my very being tested through it all, but I also know that we are getting stronger because of this trial. It's not all bad news ~ we are praying & considering a rereversal. Oh & saving. But this time we won't tell anyone if we feel that is God's leading. I often think of the babies that we have missed because of that foolish decision we made. I could well have another 4 by now & it grieves me so much. But God is God & we trust Him. We are sorry, we are forgiven & we do deserve the consequences. Will I carry this sadness & pain for the rest of my life? probably. Will I cry each month knowing God can do miracles and clear blockages ~ I guess I shall see. But all in all we know God is God ( & it's wonderful to have that assurance in that area of our lives)~ not us.
Not sure why I'm sharing, but I've wanted to tell you for a while.
Renata :)


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