Thursday, March 8, 2012
My life's a mess
The one thing I have come to realize in having a large family is that it's messy. My home seems to be the breeding ground of sins revealed. Those sins that are only found in groups of people who love each other but rub each other the wrong way just about every day.The sin of choosing to not cherish every single moment with the precious family that the Lord has put us in. The sins of laziness and stubbornness as we raise the next generation to love the Lord. It's hard. It's not for the faint of heart and it's not for those who think a large family is glamorous or fun. No, it's just plain messy..The walls of our home bending as we learn to love and die to ourselves every single day.
Living along side all of these little people keep bringing out the mud packed nastiness of me and my sin. You know, the part of me that would rather not be seen. The part of me that wonders if what I'm doing is really worth all the mess. Then I read Proverbs 14:4, "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox".
I'm often amazed at how my life impacts everyone around me. You have 8 children..You have a little boy who lives with you for months at a time while his mother is sick. messy...who does that? Well we do that.. We live messy and open lives that only God can clean up and He continues to bless us with every new mess that we live for Him.
Life properly lived is going to be dirty. I'm thankful for a Savior who walks besides me as I push through the mud and the muck and realize that it's all worth it. At the end of a day when I have nothing else to give I sleep because my hope is in the Lord and I keep walking deeper and deeper into the messes of this world to help people and the more I say yes the more He shows up in my life and in the life of my children.
My life will not be defined by how clean I kept my house but when I stand before the Lord may I be so honored to be filthy and my clothes in rags and have done it all for Him and to see my mud on His feet because He doesn't leave messes He walks us through them to green pastures of waters of living hope.
Honored today to be walking out my mission field and my He be Glorified.