Thursday, February 21, 2013

Digging Ditches

I've been digging ditches lately, the same ditches I've been working on for years.
Teaching things like... relationships are hard.   
The truth of caring deeply and yet always being disappointed.
Teaching all of them that this one life they've been given is not just about their happiness. 
They will never be happy until they give it all away.

 Teaching them to serve is what most of my days look like. Not glamorous, I assure you, and actually digging ditches would be easier.
It's just plan ol' hard work

I read recently that "the servant is usually happier than their master".
I print this out and put in places they can see.
Reminding myself.
 How do I teach this except through serving them with every ounce in me? Showing them how to make a bed and bake cookies.
Teaching how to love by giving.
 Teaching them to memorize Matthew 5: "Blessed are those.....".
All the little things of my day that keep me praying for guidance and direction. Serving the Lord and digging one ditch at a time. The shovel gets mighty heavy. Didn't I just dig that ditch? Why is it covered back over?

 Some days I dig the same ditches over and over again but just put a neon yellow jacket on me and notice the "men at work" sign and then, if you will, slowly move around me..

 My work as wife and mom will take a while. I can't take short cuts and I have a deadline..I only have a few short years to work this farm and these children..
I don't plan on putting my shovel down anytime soon.

The finished project I pray is Lord glorifying.
Children who know that God made them to love Him
and serve Him and to love others.
Hefty blue prints.

The answer to your prayers is not always found on your knees,
 it is found on your feet when you are busy..
serving God and serving those around you. 

Most often I want to be served and do little to serve others but I know when I serve I truly am happier and more alive. I feel closer to the Lord and He serves right beside me even if I don't feel like it. 

Teaching them to imitate what they see and draw it into their life but the days when I don't model well I see a painting that I want to throw away.
I see myself in their resistant faces and I want to erase it all and start over. 
.....but I can't, it becomes a part of their painting, their life. 

Everyone and everything on our farm is cold. Taylor got a 'new' jacket and she is often bundled in its warmth. Channie smiles her goofy bare teeth grin and says,
"can I wear it?" Taylor slowly unzips it and hands it to her and she snuggles deep into its warmth...but Taylor gets it back and Channie is left wanting one. I can't resit the moment when I swing by a thrift store and try and find her one just like Taylor's (with a little less sentimental value..) none the less I bring it home and give it a good washing and even though it's 10 times too big for her small frame it   doesn't matter...She is thrilled and yet I realize that this is the one very moment in time she will love her jacket. When the sun is fully awake and the heat takes back over the farm this jacket will be lost but the memories of seeing her wrapped in it will never be lost. Serving her is a pleasure...and doing small things that seem unimportant is part of serving. 

And even while putting jackets on and handing out popsicles on the trampoline just because the sun is out for a little while may seem crazy it's just me making the most of what I have to work with. Little tiny moments that I spend making them laugh and helping them learn.

Dealing with bad attitudes and bringing order in their life are all little ditches
that must be dug even though there are callouses on my hands.   

Serving them is intentional.
Teaching them to serve is intentional.
Reminding them to serve is intentional.

Loving them is worth everything...

1 comment:

maureen said...

Thank you for this post. Your words are such a blessing. I need to be reminded that to serve my children is not teaching them to be selfish. They learn by watching me, not by hearing me tell them what to do. Intentional...that is my word for this year.


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