Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The sun is going in for the day and the night time seems to unravel my house, the one I'm supposed to be in charge of. The babies crying, and wanting me to hold them for their latest melt down over something small but big to them. Supper needing to be finished and school needing to be checked and attitudes straightened out...Yep, this all happens when the sun is going down and my body is tired. I keep telling myself, I can do this. One, two, three diapers changed. One more boo-boo and four little people needing their hair combed out before bed. It all must be done. I can give a lot of these jobs over to others but everyone seems to want mamma.
I really just want to "sit a spell" like they used to say on Andy Griffith and watch the moon slowly make her way as she spreads her light across this farm...but I can't. So much noise tonight. I would have to scream loud to penetrate the level, so I don't. Noise coming from every direction, dishes banging on table, babies crying or laughing, dogs, fights between brothers. My own name 'mamma' being cried out seems unfamiliar in the noise I have to search out the caller and I find him tears streaming....a bike wreck. Dust him off and patch him up and send him on his way again.
I'm not in some foreign country, but my feet tell me I could be. At the end of the day I've poured out what I have and fed as many as I can. I have clothed, and cried with people I barely know. I have sat with a woman who's family is a mess and another who found out she's having twins in an already stressful situation and manged to get supper on the table. I'm no super woman but our family has open doors and with that comes open eyes and with open eyes comes responsibility before the Lord. I cannot look away and even though night time brings the melt down hour and some say, "you already have so much to do" I will say, "I can never do enough for my Heavenly Father who has done so much for me".
I will, for as long as He wills, live freely giving what He alone has given me...grace. Grace to others. Not knowing how it feels to live their life.
My table is set for one extra tonight, like it has been for the past few months. A little guy needing a place, a warm meal, and a yes from someone who will say yes with everything in them. I have so much and this little man needs only a small amount of what I have, crumbs really...and I give..I give him everything I have..he takes.
I pull his highchair close up to my table and feed him like he belongs, after all isn't that what everyone wants, to belong? I will bathe him and sing to him and rub medicine on his skin. I will dress him and wrap him in my arms and rock and kiss the top of his head and breathe him in.
I lay everyone down and slowly make my way to my closet and close my eyes....did I really just make it through this day? So much packed into it I can't even begin to explain. I slip out of my clothes and take a shower and crawl beneath my sheets and whisper, "Lord am I doing Your will? This is hard. This road is bumpy and there is a lot of hurting people out there and I can't fix them all or fix all of their problems."
He gently reminds me I fix no one, I'm simply walking the road with people that He chooses to put in my path. He says feed those people. Clothe those people. Love on those people that I put on the road before you...that's all I ask...
Are you truly loving those God puts directly in your path? Don't miss the joy that comes from living on the mission field of your life.
Who and what we truly are is really reflected by whether we love and accept others just as they are, right where they are.