Thursday, June 5, 2014

And we're all in

I'm finally an older woman. 
I'm that woman that I always wanted to find. You know, the one who has been through life and knows about life and lived to tell about it and is willing to share about it.
Today I want to share how all this letting go and stuff is hard.
How some days it doesn't even feel like my house, much less my life.

My nest is getting smaller and while I feel kinda like wait how did this all happen, I keep reminding myself
that this is in fact the work that I have been doing for the past 21+ years.
Working on getting my nest smaller.

So, I guess the biggest question I've been getting as of late is how? How are you getting your older kids married? Well, the Lord certainly has been gracious and He has been so sweet to send us some wonderful spouses for Taylor and now Tucker but it truly is an answered prayer.

Scott was reading to me about a bible study he was doing in the book of 1 Samuel . And Hannah was the main focus.
 Sweet Hannah.
 She wanted a baby so much and yet couldn't have one and she prayed
and God heard her. I love that He heard her. I mean do we pray that our prayers storm past the gates
of heaven and right to the throne room of our Savior?  Where he cocks his head and raises a hand and says "wait Hannah is praying again".
She basically said, Lord please give me a child and I will give him back.
and she had a baby boy.

so I'm sure she nursed him and diapered him and clothed him and sang to him.
I'm sure she worried over him when he was sick.I'm sure she lay next to him and
and said thank you Lord at least a million times.
That's not in the bible, but we're a lot alike me and Hannah, and I did that with all my babies
so I'm sure she did too.
But when it was time to give him back to the Lord she did.
She opened her fist and layed him at the feet of her Savior. She finished
what she set out to do.
 She kept her promise to the Lord and she was found faithful. 

and I love her for that example
because I have to tell you that I have prayed for a child. I have stormed the gates
of Heaven and I'm not ashamed to admit I begged God for all these babies 

and like Hannah I'm sure somewhere in all that begging I said I would let them go
and give them back when it was time. 

But that was years right and years take well
and I needed to speak to Hannah when God told me it was time to let Taylor go.
I needed her example and her bravery and I needed her strength.

and when my years with Taylor and Tucker came up I emptied myself.
I couldn't believe it was time. I thought about the time. I even tried to prepare myself and yet when it's 
time your heart is never really ready. But like Hannah, I whispered through the years
I'm doing God's work. I'm training Her/Him for the Lord.
and when God said let go
I have plans to grow My kingdom
I didn't hold on.
I cried, yes.
I missed the way my home felt when they were all there, yes.
I wondered if I forgot anything, yes.
I try and hold on to memories of thumb sucking toddlers who
use to sleep in my bed, yes.

I have 6 more promised to the Lord
I have much work ahead of me. I promised Him. I plan on doing my end of the bargain.
It's hard work though. I know what I'm doing now. I know I'm emptying my nest and my heart
as I teach and train. I look at them and wonder what service they will find doing for the Lord.
But like Hannah I just keep my eyes fixed at the task at hand.
I do my work that the Lord has set out before me.

three guys to teach before the Lord says ok let me have him back.
It's never easy but I pray that I can be like Hannah. Strong and brave
and dependable with what is His. We talk marriage a lot around here and I believe that is one reason
both Taylor and Tucker married early. People laugh at one of our sons. The tall guy in the back.
So Coop, what do you want to do when you get older and he clears his throat and says
I want to be married when I'm 18.
There is no doubt in my mind that he probably will be. We save our money so that we can help them start a business or build a house. We plan. We are trying to leave our children an inheritance and so that doesn't look very good for our retirement fund or my old people home. We just invest our time, energy, and yes money into the future. We are not selfish with what the Lord has let us borrow. 
You can't be if you're investing in something.

We teach on the future. We do bible studies on marriage and what it takes to be married.
We keep our guys around men who love marriage.
We don't watch t.v. shows that degrade marriage.
We teach them that to be married is a gift.
A wonderful beautiful gift and they know it's true.
and I know it's true.
So we invest,
 And we're all in.  
Just in case you have ever wanted an older woman in your life, pull up a chair, flip your Bible open to 1Samuel  and read about Hannah.
Blessings from the farm.


MelissaJoy said...

I am a 29 year old mother of 3 (going on four) children 5 and under. I have followed your blog for years. This is the best blog post ever. Thank you! I want to give you a hug and say "I love you" and "I wish you could be a mom to me too!".
I agree.
My kids are little and they already talk about getting married and having children and all the while to the glory of God. Thank you so much for writing! I need to go find someone to hug now, you gave me the craving...

Unknown said...

I needed this. Thanks Robin!

jill funkhouser said...

looking for some good tween studies or books for us to read as parents and/or with the kiddos. Thanks!

Ashley said...

You speak to my soul! Thank you for sharing your family and experiences, I look forward to each and every post.

maureen said...

We attended the wedding of a neighbor's daughter over the weekend. The Pastor spoke passionately about how marriage is the completion of one's childhood, the stepping into adulthood for the bride and groom. After he spoke the sermon, the bride and groom each read words to each other, it was very romantic. As they spoke my 11 and 14 year old daughters leaned into me from each side. Both of them were so moved, and then my 14 year old, Katy whispered in my ear, "How much longer until I can be courted?" I did not laugh at her, I know she is serious and longs to be married as soon as the Lord sends her beloved. It is my job to make her ready, to teach her what she needs to know and also to teach her to be patient! (That will be the hard part!)

Unknown said...

I visit your blog from time to time...and I benefit from your wisdom and passion. You have a beautiful family!

I just wanted to add my two cents worth...that sometimes desiring marriage does not mean it will happen. Sometimes praying and praying for a family of your own is answered, 'not yet." And maybe not ever.

So while I have been surrounded by examples of Godly marriage, have been open to being married young, and pray for this...there is no sign of my life path changing. And God is using that in my life - make no mistake!

I guess I'm just trying to say, that sometimes our hearts are right towards something, but God has chosen a different way for us, for now.

I don't doubt you know this! :)
And I hope your prayers and dreams for each blessed child comes true.

God is good. Have a wonderful summer! :)


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