Celebrating Motherhood

We need not grow weeds

2012-02-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

I have learned, in whatsoever state I am,

therewith to be content.

Philippians 4:11

Contentment is not a natural thing we do. Weeds grow, we don't have to plant them. Covetousness, discontentment, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to the earth and so, we need not teach our children to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. I believe I have helped the weeds grow at times. Instead of picking the weeds, I've watered them and scattered them by not training my children with great intentions and by just "letting whatever happens happen".
Gardens have to be tended and the Lord has made me the earthly gardener to Taylor, Tucker, Cooper, Cullen, Chandler, Jo, Josie and Ellie.

The precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we want wheat, we must plow and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener's care. If we want thankful, grateful, contented children we must first be willing to work in the heat of their hearts garden.

Now, contentment is one of the flowers of heaven, and if we would have it, it must be cultivated; we must teach our children the heavenly art of contentment in all things. Paul says, "I have learned..to be content" Paul was old when he learned this, we have to start early.. I can almost see him in prison saying, "this.. all of this, has nothing to do with me but much to do about Him." We have to teach our children it's not about them.. We are training up a generation that reeks of selfishness and men and women who won't "stick it out" during hard times.....We have to train our children to stick it out. To know hard times comes to all of us..We don't do this. We treat our children as if they're the center of the universe instead of Christ. Oh, may we repent of indulging our children...and put Christ back on the throne instead of our children's selfish desires.

The older I get the more I realize that I'm learning slowly, not much different then Paul I guess. The day belongs to the Lord and whatever He chooses for me to do then I do without too much complaining. I see the clock, I've lost a precious child, I've been given second chances. Over the years I've complained a lot but now, years later, I see the Lord slowly teaching me my place. My contentment. I see Him in the garden of my life slowly weeding out the brier patch over the years. He still is walking my rows and, as painful as it is, tills up things that's been in my garden for a while.

I weed my children's attitude when I see a spirit of discontentment. We have to be willing to work. To train and teach. In our house if our children complain about the food, they are asked to leave the table. I don't buy all of them treats at the same time. Oh, I know, so unfair. but try it..Only buy two or three treats and tell the rest their turn will be the next time. I'm weeding.

Be happy regardless if you got a treat or not.

Teach them...hard lessons.

Weeding is a lot of work and some days I don't want to work in the garden of my children's life. I want to sit in the swing and hope the weeds of discontentment don't smother them out... but really? I can't and you can't either. I have dirty feet and dirty clothes from time spent in the eight gardens the Lord has given to me and when the sun is hot and the weeds are tall I want to walk......but He says, "stay a little while longer and I will help you" and as the sun goes down on the day I realize that training is not easy work but I'm not alone in the garden... I have the master gardener right beside me.

Blessings,
Robin

Thanks, C.H. Spurgeon for the inspiration.

Encouragement for your daughters..

2012-02-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

I have a blog that I would like for you all to take a look at. Silk and Purple is a new blog that a small group of some young ladies in our community have started. The blog is truly amazing, just in all of the work that they have put into getting it started and it looks great. If you have an older daughter, or even if you don't, this blog is sure to be added to your favorites list. More than just fashion advice, the young ladies over at Silk & Purple strive to make a statement that beauty is more than just skin deep. They truly try to honor Christ in their posts and bring Him into the middle of every issue. Raising daughters in this culture is hard, so when encouragement from like-minded sisters in Christ comes along, I for one know that my oldest daughter is very grateful for the Godly advice that is offered. Every thing from fashion advice and recipes to much needed posts on speech and using words carefully. The wit and humor mixed with truth and good advice is sure to make this blog a favorite of ours for quite a while. I also appreciate the honoring attitude that the girls display towards their parents, consistently speaking highly of them.
So go on over, give it a look.

Silk and Purple

Blessings,
Robin

Living a Legacy Conference Giveaway

2012-02-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

As Christian women our purpose is to live a life that will bring glory to God and pass that legacy on to the next generation. We are seeing a new awareness of the importance of home in the church and society , the return of women to build that home, kindled by a passion for loving Christ and transmitting that love to the next generation, and we are thrilled to join in that reformation! We want to hold up the arms of women everywhere, encourage them in the trenches of ”my-life-for-yours” living, and give them a renewed commitment to forsake what the world esteems and embrace a life-work that will last for eternity!

Living a Legacy is simply that: encouragement, inspiration, fellowship and practical help for your journey–women who are changing the world by the upside down message of the gospel…“he who would save his life must lose it”.

Hosting Living a Legacy are Kathy Brodock, Kelly Crawford and Robin White, blog friends who started out as friends in real life and remain true friends, despite the realness, who daily encourage each other.

The conference will include eight sessions, complete with question and answer time on Saturday.

Come be encouraged and equipped to pass on a lasting legacy for God’s glory.

There will be wonderful legacy-building resources given away all day long and lots of ‘girlie treats’!

You won’t want to miss t he vendor area, featuring different home industries, books and products.

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Leave a comment, and I'll put your name into the drawing for a free pass to the conference. Post on Facebook and tell me you did and I'll put it in twice!

Can't wait to meet all of you! Hope you can come!

Check out the site for details, and to get the badge for your blog!

http://livingalegacyconference.com/

Blessings, Robin

What's the state of your flock?

2012-02-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds.(proverbs 27:23)

The puddles are deep around here on the farm. The rain has been coming down all day and we're stuck inside. I watch my flock and am attending to the things of my household and I notice the slightest of attitudes or signs of disrespect and I make a mental note. I watch my flock as they eat together and play together and I notice brothers being unkind or sisters being too bossy and I write it down. My household, the one the Lord gave for me to run, is very important to me. My flock is even more important and when I see one wandering too far away I take to running to get them back.

I couldn't do these things if I weren't at home.. If I weren't standing guard over this little flock of mine.

I've seen so many parents believe the lie that my 2 year old is just being normal when she pitches a fit or it's normal for my teenage son to withdraw because that's what they do when they are becoming their own person. God never says any of this is.....

God, over and over again, warns us parents to be about the business of training, not to be about the business of listening to this world and yet we listen. We let little things go. We think they will out grow the tantrums or their sullen behavior will get better when they get older.

In God's word He says the opposite is true. "Train up a chid in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Why is it we believe we can do things

our way and get good results?

Once again we think we know better than God.

So we are training up a generation of lazy, self-indulged

men and women.

We don't expect anything out of our children and we think if we can just get them through the toddler years it'll get better.

Your flock just moved a step further away from you.

You ask your child to do something and they don't do it, so you do it for them because it's just easier.

Your flock just moved.

You ask your son to mow the lawn and he suddenly doesn't feel like doing anything. You don't teach your child manners because it feels fake to you. You allow your child to brag and boast about his things or her knowledge. You call it something different than boasting.. like, "they just know their history or he can sure play sports".. so let him or her show off a little it doesn't hurt anybody.

Your flock is no where around.

Go to God's word and show me where it says being prideful about anything is acceptable. We allow it because it makes us feel good that our children are smart or atheltic and yet God says pride comes before a fall and we are setting our children up for a fall. Some of the children I have the hardest time being around come from wonderful Christian homeschooled families, mine included...it's those children that know all the answers and will tell their elders or other adults how wrong they are. Our arrogant little flocks are out of control and we think it's cute. We have created something in them that is muddy and cold, for our own egos. We allow them to correct adults and we don't teach them discretion. What we don't realize is that our child will use that same know-it-all attitude on us but we won't think its so cute then. We'll try to disipline them for something we've allowed to grow.
Self righteousness.
I truly believe our society has planted and is watering the seed of self righteousness.
God help us as mothers to unearth that weed in our home.

Don't let this weed take root. Don't allow disobience to be comfortable inside the fence. Don't allow laziness and disrespect to disrupt your whole flock because one thing I know...One child who jumps in a puddle will bring someone with them. One child who is allowed to disrespect or disobey is slowly taking over your whole flock. You have the staff..You have the power to bring the flock back to where you want them to graze, but you don't do it. Somewhere inside of yourself you think, " they'll grow up and know whats right one day and they will appreciate me for putting up with them".

Know your flock and takes notes and search scripture and then train.....while there is still time..

Blessings from the muddy banks,

Robin

I don't have to say anything just look for yourself...

2012-01-23T13:22:00.000-08:00

1 cup Shortening (Crisco)
1 cup Packed Brown Sugar
1 cup Sugar
2 whole Eggs
1 teaspoon Vanilla
1-1/2 cup All-purpose Flour
1 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
3 cups Quick Oats
1/2 cup Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips

Preparation Instructions

In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening with both sugars until well combined.

In a separate bowl, beat eggs together. Add vanilla and stir to combine. Add to the shortening/sugar mixture and mix well.

In a separate bowl combine the flour, salt and baking soda. Mix carefully into the egg/shortening mixture until well combined. Now add the quick oats and mix well again. Finally add the finely chopped pecans and mix well to combine.

Divide the dough in half and place each half of the dough onto a sheet of waxed paper. Roll the dough into a log and then wrap it tightly in the waxed paper. Now you can either chill or freeze the dough until later or you can go ahead and slice the dough evenly into cookie rounds.

When you are ready to bake them place them on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes until they are golden brown.

Pioneer woman is the real deal when it comes to food.

Blessings from my cookie jar to yours,
Robin

New Life

2012-01-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

I started on a health kick about two years ago and that involved a lot of new things for me and my family. I started juicing and eating lots of fruit and lots of salad. My family, who were not so much into the idea, took a little while to convince but they're slowly coming around to my way of eating... slowly but surely. This season I wanted to try some new things since I have so much time on my hands...um, yeah. ;) so I bought heirloom seeds from Solutions From Science. We have never started seeds before but I have a small little green house that my father in law had before he died. It's not much but he was a gardener and I pray his green thumb is still in the soil around here. I have gardens but he had GARDENS. They were big and beautiful and I can see him now up on his old green John Deere tilling the earth and when you passed him he would throw his hand up at ya without even looking. I miss that man. I wished I could call him right now..

So back to my little baby seeds. I wet paper towels and let the kids put three or four seeds in each paper towel then folded it four ways and put it in a baggie and, presto! You, my friend, have your own little green house. It's cheap and a very fun science project.

Make sure to mark your seeds and the date least you forget what you're growing. With everything going on around here I have to do this. I might need to mark it twice.

This was a great project for the kids. I was very careful with my heirloom seeds though because they are kinda pricey. I had a pack of sunflower seeds left over from last year and let the kids plant those.
I only seeded my cold weather seeds and only a few to see if this method worked since I had never done this before. My goal is to have year around fresh salad and bell peppers..

Our kitchen window gets a lot of sun so I taped them to the windows ( I will say this freaked everyone out...not sure why, they all said it reminded them of a scary movie).. I ended up moving them to my bedroom windows and after about 8 days of waiting we opened our little green houses and here is what we found..

Not only did this method work but almost all of my seeds were ready to put in dirt. I had prepared my dirt by this point so the soil would be warm and I was just waiting on my little babies to pop out of their home.

The sunflowers didn't disappoint the kids, they were long and healthy looking. We slowly tore each bag and unwrapped each plant and then planted them in dirt and a little thing I like to call rabbit poopoo(rabbit pellets).. Rabbits are a great addition to your farm for a more natural fertilizer. You put it right in your dirt and you're ready to plant and plant we did.

I love seeing the life these little plants hold. A little water, dirt and sunshine..I also will tell you a little secret I talk to my little beauties and encouraged the kids to talk to them as well.. it just makes them happy. I love walking by and hearing Channie say, "Whatcha doing girls??" That just makes me happy. So there you have it a cheap green house and a neat science project....I'll keep you up-dated..

Blessings from the Farm,
Robin

Whats that light?

2012-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

The light streams in my home through my windows or through the smiles of those that He brings to my door. The light is so warming and comforting. I almost always throw a blanket down and a pile of books and before I know it the kids are sitting in the light reading and never even notice . Something has drawn them there to that spot but then we're all drawn to the light. The truth of who we are and what we do with our little piece of light the Lord gives to us. The warmth around them as they sit..I love this and I do believe it will be one of my fondest memories of my children's childhood( besides my table), the light on blankets and books. Their shadows cast on my wall. When memories have been captured, laying down beside them and feeling their warm arms and reading to them. Smelling the sunshine on their hair.. Putting my face in the warmth of the Lord's goodness.

Again I fed the hungry this weekend as I do three times a day 7 days a week. I don't know about you but I consider this big bunch of mine a multitude.The Lord always providing for our daily bread and my door so open that I wonder who will show up this time. The stories and laughter of 15 extra people at my table this past weekend, some I knew and some I had never met in my life, and my table holding strong as the feet and legs dangled under her. My children serving and my heart begging to know if they know my God. This young man is a star football player at our local high-school. He is kind and gentle off the field and he will probably go play college football at Alabama ( if I had my vote).. A face in my home that I know nothing about but he came to eat and eat he did, but not without having a little boy look up to him and respect him for just being there.

Looking out my window, I notice their little clothes hanging in the light. Again I whisper thank yous to God for the light. It dries my clothes and warms my children. It never goes out unless I stop looking. Unless I close my eyes to all around me.

My heart always looking for the light and when I look I see it everywhere. Just like when I open my doors. God only needs me to open and then He rushes past me, things happen in my life and in the life of my children. We notice when others are having a hard time. We notice when others are hungry or tired. We notice when others need shoes or a bible. In my home I can ask....

Do you have your own bible?
the answer was no...no I don't......my heart pounding as I realize that this little 9 year old didn't have God's word.

I can fix that.

God used me because first I was willing. He uses us....to shower His love to others.

School is always in session. We are busy counting, and learning colors...The older ones learning and pressing on, even when our days are long. Because more often than not our days are long and hard at times. We struggle with the same things that every family struggles with but we have a promise that if we keep what is important to God the main focus He will step in and fill the gaps as we go along. Oh I'm so thankful for the gaps He has filled in my role as wife and mother. He has drawn lines for me that are pleasant and although not everyday is easy with disciplining 8 children and others, I keep moving forward and I keep laughing at my silly self because God's got this and somedays I feel as though if I move a little to the left or a little to the right it might all crash down around me.

Silly silly me.

We have food to eat and Dr.s who we can go to when little boys are sick. When little boys cough through the night and I wonder what I would do if I lived in a place that has no Dr.s... We complain about waiting rooms and traffic getting there.. We complain about the money it takes and we ask ourselves why our co-pay is so high and then we complain some more. A complaining bunch I would say. When people in other countries would love for their children to be well. When I have friends who don't have money for Dr.s or even when she is so sick she can't hold her head up because of a fever she has to go work anyway because she is a single mom and work equals money and without it she struggles deeper. We help, not because we feel sorry for her, but because we have extra and God says give. I need to help or sometimes I think I'll burst if I'm not looking for ways to help others.

This week we were sick with what seems like something that lasts forever...and our dear friends brought us chicken noodle soup and salad..They fed the hungry and they encouraged me so much by allowing themselves to bless our family. The soup slowly warming and my children waiting in line for their portion of this meal given to us by our heavenly father..He used others to love on us and He will use you also if you let him.

What can you do this week to shower God's light all around you? Who's load can you make easier. Who can you feed or clothe or buy a bible for? Look for it, it's all around you, don't cover up your eyes.

God will use you if you say Yes!

Another reason..

2012-01-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

At times my house is so full that a bed would be hard to come by. My table is a constant place that I put food on to feed my family and friends and strangers. My home is not mine. It is the dwelling the Lord has given me to show Him that I love Him and am willing to share all that He has given me in order to make someone else's life a little easier or maybe fill their bellies or hearts. I love the laughter that is pinned up on these walls of mine. I hear it even as I write. The laughter of brothers.

Wait until you get a crowd and then your walls will strain to keep the happiness in.

People often ask me how I do it all. How I have so many people over at once or why and my answer is because I always get blessed when I feed others.

I always love seeing people walk up my sidewalk and knowing

I have prepared for them. I have cooked or cleaned for them and they are most welcome in my home.

When others come I am blessed. How can you have a home that is giving out more than taking in?
Start by having one family a month over. A small family will work fine. It takes a little practice working up to families who have 10 children:) but you'll get there. I love everyone sitting together, it just adds a touch of who I am. I'm kinda of a touchy feely kinda friend.... but you do what works for you. Just let your home be open. They will come and you will get the honor of feeding people from all walks of life if you first open your doors, well God's doors.

I love celebrations. I celebrate children losing teeth to riding a bike for the first time. Look for ways you can celebrate and invite others to come and celebrate with you.
This night we celebrated the life of my little guy Cullen and the Alabama Football national championship game. The food was simple but it was a huge hit. The laughter was loud and the fun factor will be remembered forever.

As my children get older I realize that having lots of people in and out of my home is shaping them to love each other more and to love others more regardless of color or position. They welcome all to their home..This is the gift the Lord gives back to you when you open your doors. Your children loving more deeply. Your children serving others. You don't have to go far if you're looking for a service project for your family, just simply open your doors and train your children to serve whomever God brings. We have had families that love the Lord so much but we also have families that don't know the Lord and are hurting in this big world. We have had single moms and missionaries. We have had hunters and a dentist, large families with the most being 13 children and small families with a tiny new-born. We share our table with anyone and that means anyone. The poor, the rich, friends and strangers, it doesn't matter our doors are simply open and the Lord brings them.

We love on all of them and when they leave my prayer is that they felt like they had

a meal with the Lord.

Find a reason to celebrate and prepare to be blessed beyond measure. I'm already thinking of another reason to celebrate this up coming weekend. How about you? Can you simply open your door and let God bring someone to your table?

Homemade Laundry detergent

2012-01-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

Homemade Laundry Detergent:
(can be used for HE washers!!)

You will need:

1 box Borax
1 box washing soda
1-10 bars of soap
(we have used lavender lye soap, Fels Naptha and oatmeal and honey)
Depending on how much you would like to make is how many bars of soap you will need.
Basically, one bar of soap equals one quart size jar of laundry detergent.

Here are the instructions for two quart size jars.

Grate two bars of soap into a large bowl.
Add 2 1/2 cups of borax and 2 1/2 cups of washing soda
Mix well.

At this point you can either blend together the mixture in a blender for fine powder or leave as is. We have done both and they have both worked fine.

Use 1 large tablespoon full per load!

Cost Estimation:

Borax: $3.99
Washing Soda: $3.99
Soap: around $1.50 per bar

So for 10 quart size jars which is about how much the box of borax/washing soda will yield it will cost you around $23.00. And which EACH jar easily providing 60 loads worth, you will have 600 loads for the price you would normally pay for about 100.

Quite the savings!!

So why do I make my own Laundry detergent? Well I love saving the money but more than that I love training my daughters to be busy around our home.

blessings from the farm,
Robin

On the Farm: Honey Cough Syrup

2011-12-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

We made Honey&Lemon cough syrup using:

2 cups of pure honey
1/4 cup of fresh lemon juice

Allow the two to simmer on low in a double-boiler for about an hour. Then pour into a glass jar and store in fridge for up to 2 months.

It has a great taste and the kids love it. It's very simple to make and it has no side effects that other cough syrups have. We have honeybee's on our farm so the honey we use is very local and we know it's pure. Just try to find the best grade honey you can in your area.

Gearing up for this winters flu season with a little honey from my pot.

Why use honey in cough syrups?

Honey has been used intuitively for hundreds of years as a wonderful natural antibiotic by many different cultures. Today, research undertaken by Dr. Shona Blair at Sydney University's School of Molecular and Microbial Biosciences, has now shown the unusual antibacterial activity of honey, leading to a greater understanding of the ability of honey to kill pathogenic bacteria through several different mechanisms. In studies, honey was effective against many different drug resistant bacteria.

In one scientific test, Dr. Shona Blair used honey to treat E. coli. Dr. Shona Blair saw that honey "attacks" bacteria from several different angles; that the bacteria were overwhelmed and unable to develop resistance, and the bacteria died. In today's world where many antibiotics have become ineffective, honey was able to kill not only the E. coli, but many other types of bacteria.

Honey not only possesses significant antibacterial activity, it has also been shown to actively promote healing by directly stimulating human cells that are important in the immune response to help disease and wounds healing.

Learn more:http://www.naturalnews.com/022372.html#ixzz1hwVhYzwA

Lemon helps promote health by quickly alkalinizing the body and honey will kill any bacteria. This is a perfect choice for a quick cough remedy.
To soothe a cough, take ½ teaspoon for a 25 lb. child and 1 teaspoon for a 50 lb. child, about 4 times a day or as often as needed. Adults can take 1 tablespoon doses

It's incredible what other uses honey has!
Some we've found:

Natural Energy Booster
Burn and Cut Healer
Incredible Antibiotic
Sore Throats
Athletes Foot
Yeast Infections
Skin Moisturizer
Vitamin A enhancer
Antiseptic

Learn More: http://www.benefits-of-honey.com/health-benefits-of-honey.html

Letters by candlelight

2011-12-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

We sat as she read us her 20 page letter. The words melting through us and around us as we listened. Tears fell and emotions were deep as the words lingered. Dear friends moving, leaving, and to us nothing will seem the same.We sat in candle light and her voice kept cracking ever so slightly as the memories flooded our mind of times spent with these precious and dear friends.
I watched all of their faces as each word was spoken and I thought, "this is how it must have been in the 'old' days when letters would come and the whole family would gather around and listen.When news from the war or from loved ones who had taken the journey to live in a foreign land would make its way to the candle light of home"...
She read the last words, "Dad would have absolutely loved the place. It's so tucked back at the end of a little old dirt road. We are so grateful-and awed- by His provision to our family; such a wonderful farm... It has everything we ever dreamed of."
Memories pouring in and my tears dancing in the candle-light. Saying good-bye and knowing that things have forever changed and some things will never be the same.

I guess through my life that's the one thing I've learned more. One decision, one act of God's hand, will change everything. Which leads me to this guy, Jason Cooper. Today is his 10th birthday and the Lord forever changed me by this incredible gift of his life. I will not forget how sweet the Lord was to cover my sin of not trusting Him for more children and giving me the gift of Coop. The joy and laughter that he has brought to our lives is a constant reminder of the gift he is. God is good and oh, He has been so good to me. He gave me Cooper and I will praise Him. He took William and I will praise Him. God is always good, we just have to remember that.
Happy Birthday to a wonderful son who knows right and chooses to do right. You are a giver of so many blessings to our family and I pray that God's blessings continue to over-flow you in this up coming year.

The coldness has us mostly in doors here on Chandler farm but our heads are swimming with our up-coming homesteading ideas. We have rabbits again and are looking forward to getting our baby chicks in a few weeks. We are baking bread and trying new recipes like Artisan style bread. We are making our own laundry detergent and still using our clothes line even though it's cold..We are gearing up to make a batch of homemade soaps, and we bought heirloom seeds to plant in our green house. So even though the temps outside are cold we are making plans for a busy spring.

God Bless you in your endeavors to celebrate life and the calling of everyday motherhood in your own home. Because if you don't celebrate the gifts God gave you then who will?

So they'll remember

2011-12-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2011

These are a few of my favorite things

2011-12-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

Friends

Big sisters and little sisters

Brothers and sisters

Girls going shopping with their babies

Sons

boys and their toys

Twins

Family

New Bikes for everyone.

This Christmas the Lord has allowed us all to be together.

So many friends that I think about don't have loved ones with them this year.

I remember.

I count my eight and wrap deeper in my robe and sip my coffee and whisper,

"Thank you, Lord for giving us this celebration".

This gift of time that we have as a family. This time is

a gift because as my children grow older they will

have their own homes and celebrate their own Christmas's but for

now I still get the privilege of sharing their time uninterrupted.

Watching them give.

Seeing them receive.

Watching them ride across this land with their new bikes and know

that one day this land might be bike-less and

I will remember.

Christmas 2011

Capturing Faces

2011-12-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

The rain was filling buckets but I went anyway. I usually try and take the kids out and celebrate them a few at a time. As the mother of a large family it's so easy to miss little things about each of them so I try and spend time with smaller groups on occasion. This little group ended up having me in belly laughs the whole afternoon. I took them to Red Robin and they sang, danced, ate, and watched the t.v that was directly behind me. I sat across from Ellie and Josie and Cullen and just kind of sat there listening and watching their beautiful faces. They broke in to their little music so often that people around us were laughing. Everyone stopping by to see these two. I watched. I celebrated.....as they sang Rain, Rain Go Away and Old McDonald's Farm.

Enjoying who God made them to be. They are funny and these girls can eat. They kept sharing their food with Cullen and taking his as well.

The big moment came when I ordered the biggest mountain of ice-cream cake ever and Ellie's face couldn't take it all in. They are that special...To order the big thing off the menu and build these memories that I will never forget and never let them forget. The time when their feet dangle under tables and ice-cream and cake
still shake them up.

These times of motherhood seem to slip by if you don't stop and make time to celebrate the simpleness
of your everyday life. Carry a camera, capture the faces, and get ready to build your memories.

A girl can dream can't she?

2011-12-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

The street was lined with the puddles from the day. My mind taking in the beauty of umbrellas and the girls under their temporary covering. I'm not sure how to explain what I want to say. How much I enjoy their company and their sweetness. Being with my children makes everything better and rain won't stop this, it just adds to the back drop of us being together. We shopped and made memories and laughed and bought and then broke bread together.

We sampled and we held hands. We captured the magic of that rainy day together. Taylor whispering in my ear how very much she loves me and Channie's reminders of her thinking this was the best day ever (In case you've missed it Channie Mae thinks everyday is the best day ever). I can't help but to capture the whole afternoon with my camera lens. Seeing each day as the gift that it was meant to be. I capture moments and when the pictures are downloaded it takes me back and it makes the girls act all silly and say 'oh we had so much fun mom'. It keeps our memories alive and breathing. We all tend to get caught up and forget what we did yesterday. I don't want to forget. God's goodness and his mercy that He, the creator, allows me to breathe, much less parent, some of His finest creations.

Willing into her memories the life lessons that I teach. Being there and sharing in her joy as she tastes a new kind of honey for the first time. Being there as the sheer excitement of walking in the rain overwhelms her. It captures her love of wet streets and the wind that threatens to take her umbrella away. I'm able to capture her smile, her innocence of such things that seem to take her by surprise. It's just rain right? It's so much more to Channie Mae. It's all new. I look at our shopping adventure through her eyes. Every breeze or wet drop made her squeal with delight. Every puddle something to jump over. Every scent something to linger over. This little girl teaches me so much about life and loving. When I hear "Love like a child loves" (or something like that) I think of Channie. Her love is simple.....It's BIG......I want to love like Channie

I'm able to capture with my lens one of my early Christmas presents. That little wicker basket is one of the gifts she bought me and gave it to me early. It now holds the books that I read to the little ones. I have it by my chair and the reminder of where it came from brings a smile on my face. Her love, her spirit, is so contagious. My friend, my daughter...the one who keeps me humble and the one who stands next to me in the trenches everyday. The one who lives simply. Who loves huge. The girl whom I've grown up with so to speak. The Lord has used her in my life in a mighty way. I know when I'm older, much older, I will stand by her. Lord willing, I will be the friend that she needs as she starts her family. Don't think I don't know that I have to let her go one day. I will let her go when the Lord sends the right man into her life. Right now though I enjoy her. I love talking to her. I love seeing her nervous and sleepy. I love seeing her on Dr. Pepper. I love seeing her sipping tea and holding babies. I love seeing her get all excited over a nice knife. I love when she says, "I want to go hunting.. just once!"

I don't know, all of my girls keep me snapping pictures and wondering what the Lord has in store for each and everyone of them. They're all so unique and who they are makes me different.

I would trade nothing I have for the time I get to spend with my Children. I love my friends but I would much rather be in the kitchen with Tay or playing blocks with the little girls, throwing the football with the boys or just curled up watching a movie with all of them. I often take walks across our land and I'll say, " So, Channie where are you going to build your house?" and she'll point and say, "right there mom" 100 steps from my back door..I let out a breath because I know her home will probably not be on this farm but a girl can dream can't she?

I call her name and my lens catches the look of the day. Standing in the crowd of a candy shop she looks for me and listens for my voice and her eyes catch mine and her smile is a mixture of surprise and of knowing. Knowing that I would be capturing this moment. I'm kinda crazy like that.

As we leave we all three share a small umbrella and they keep telling me to take it because they don't want me to get wet. Who am I to deserve such incredible daughters? I did get wet that day but only because I wanted to feel the rain and wanted to taste the day I spent shopping with my girls. A day that is captured.

She's motionless in my window

2011-12-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

She usually fills my kitchen with the most beautiful of songs.

She awakes when the sun hits her solar panel back and warms her.

She sings all day until the sun drifts down toward the west then she sleeps.

Today though she is quiet and I find myself waiting for her to sing but she doesn't. I find myself looking over at her as if nudging her that this would be a great time for her sweet melodies, but she remains still.
It's cloudy outside and well I guess she wont be singing much today.

I miss her song, she sits motionless in my window waiting.

It's a reminder to me that my life song should always be heard not anticipated.

I don't want my children or husband waiting for me to sing when my circumstances get better or all my needs are met.

I want my singing and praising to be constant. I want it to be heard in every room in my home. I want it to be familiar and copied.

My praises to the Lord, I don't want them to have to wait for it.

It's cloudy I will praise Him for the clouds and the way He fills them with water or snow.

It's sunny I will sing of the warmth of the day that fills my kitchen and my yard with children who play in His warmth.

It's cold I will praise Him for the house that He gave me and the walls that protect my family and keep them warm.

I want my song to be a constant reminder of my dependence on Him not my circumstances.

I wonder if she will sing tomorrow? If the conditions will be perfect enough to set her playing her soft chimes? I don't want my children or husband to ask the same of me. I will sing today. I will be heard. I will not sit motionless. I pray you will do the same.

Blessings,
Robin

A warm landing

2011-11-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

I search the sky for rain and know we're gonna be locked in for a few days. The heavens don't disappoint me. The rain comes. We find the shelter of our home to be a safe dwelling place. Books being read and little ones needing me all over the place, the feeling of being needed is such a sweetness. Knowing that right now, this very minute, I make their world a warm landing. I create in my home a place of peace and rest or a place that is filled with unknowns. I want them to understand that my home will always be a place of peace and comfort but never a home of rest. We should always be about Gods business and with that comes work. Teaching my children to love and nurture is a huge part of the journey that I believe is one of the most important journey that I can teach them.

Teaching them that no matter who walks through our doors they are welcomed and we will love. Keeping our doors locked and never letting people in will never teach our children, or ourselves for that matter, that all we own and all we have belongs to Christ.
Our new days, when the sun slowly warms the soil on this farm, the comfort of fresh food and hot rolls. The sweet love of brothers and sisters.
They all come from a gracious heavenly Father who pours out good gifts. We need to pour those gifts out to others so that they can say, " God intervened and sent me help". Sometime our homes will be God's good gifts to others, sometimes our food. Sometimes our money.....We have to get into the habit of giving of ourselves completely. Poured out like the rain. Taking chances and saying, "it's all Gods anyway". My time, my money, my home are all His anyway..So unlock your doors..and be ready to be blessed by God and blessed by the very people who come through those doors. You only think your blessing them when in reality they will bless you more.

The rain watering. The sky black. My house full..I'm tired most of the time. I always try and eat healthy and get in my exercise, but I have to admit when night fall hits I dream of my bed. I long to get everyone tucked in and then find myself asleep early. I can't wait for the next gift day. Tomorrow. What will I accomplish, what will I let God accomplish through me? Will I love big? After years of practice I'm learning to truly not sweat the small stuff, as corny as that may sound. I've been through "big stuff" and the pleasure I have in raising my children gives me great reasons to rejoice and share what I have. The people that complain the most are the very people who haven't been through the big stuff yet. All the big stuff is used by God to work His righteousness into us and carry on when burdens bare down. When the day to day come back around you lay low because you realize you are low. You tend to keep your mouth shut more because you realize you don't have all the answers You love the simple things, the simple days because you realize how fast things could change. The big stuff makes you long for a simple life.

Nothing I do today is more important then teaching my children to love and to love well. Sometimes, loving others requires hard things, getting rid of our own selfishness, and our rights to comfort and time, but before long God will move us to a new position and require more out of us then we ever dreamed we had in us.

What we've been doing with our hands

2011-11-10T14:44:00.000-08:00

There once was a good boy...

2011-11-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

"A good boy generally makes a good man." Said the mother of Washington, "George was always a good boy." Here we see one secret of his greatness. George Washington had a mother who made him into a good boy by Gods grace, and instilled into his heart those principles which raised him to be the benefactor of his country, and one of the brightest ornaments of the world. She, in a great measure, formed the character of the hero, and the statesman. It was by her own fireside that she taught her playful boy to govern himself; and thus was he prepared for the brilliant career of usefulness which he afterward pursued. We are indebted to God for the gift of Washington; but we are no less indebted to God for his inestimable mother. Had she been weak, and indulgent, and unfaithful parent, the unchecked energies of Washington might have elevated him to the throne of a tyrant;or youthful disobedience might have prepared the way for a life of crime and a dishonored grave.

There are, it is true, innumerable causes incessantly operating in the formation of character. A mother's influence is by no means the influence which is exerted. Still it may be the most powerful; for, with God's ordinary blessing, it may form in the youthful mind the habits, and implant the principles, to which other influences are to give permanency and vigor.----The Mother at Home by John Abbott

It's time we look at our children and do more than wish they would act a certain way. We, as mothers, have to stand on the hill and look at the battle before us and fight for our children. Fight for loving, kind children who love the Lord and love us and yes, even love their brothers and sisters. We have to do something about the mess that seems to be forever before us. We have to clean out our homes of disobedience and disrespect while there is still time. We are in a battle and this world wants our children and we have to fight. We can't grow weary in doing good. We can't grow weary of teaching and praying and begging God for guidance.
We stand guard over our homes and over the souls that will carry Christ to the next generation.This takes a lot of time and work. We will get dirty and some of us will want to give up. We can't, we must press on.

Yes, some of our children will choose a different path and walk away from all of our teaching and walk away from God. This is when a faithful mother stands before the throne room of God and He says, "Be still and know that I am God." The consciousness, however, of having done one's duty, divests this affliction of much of it's bitterness. (John Abbott)

Our jobs as mothers will do much concerning the next generation. We have to be busy about our most important task. Don't get caught up doing things that do not benefit your husband or children. Stay true to your calling. It's a big one.

I never get used to it.....

2011-10-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

The morning sun spilling through the double paned window. I slowly remember we're in a little cabin in North Carolina perched on a hillside. The bears are often seen in the morning roaming around so I slowly peek outside. The curtains move and all I see is the beauty of the different colored paints dripping from the tall trees. I snuggle back down and smell the unfamiliar smell of a wood stove that is our heat for the time we're here. The house is situated on a hillside and so close to the river that I can hear her from my bed. I hear her moving as she slowly sings her songs. Calling me out. Calling us outdoors.

The day before we had traveled through the Blue Ridge mountains and parked about half way through and climbed up to the top of a huge peak that over looked the Blue Ridge perfectly. We climbed (what seemed like) two miles to the top and it was breath taking as the wind flapped and the huge sun threaded her way through the trees, inviting us to meet her up there and meet her we did.

I had to tip my head so I could hear them through the wind. Their voices tiny as we're higher and closer to the sky. I fixed them in my gaze and then had to whisper, "Thank you God" for such beauty. I'm truly amazed at His gifts of land and sky. The deepest blues and the patch of earth that holds it up. My family on top and all around us His glory. It was perfect. We prayed on the top and I know God is always near, but being high up and over-looking His paintings made me feel closer to Him.

On the way down Cullen, who has a thing about hearts for me, got the whole family involved. By the time we reached the bottom I had 8 heart rocks to remember our trip by. Each one different, like each of my children.

Some of them were big and some were small but each one carried down that mountain a heart for me. I lined them up and took a quick picture and then loaded every single one in the van and plan on putting them in my garden. There are so many heart rocks. I wonder if God did that on purpose. To remind us if we look down or if we're down He reminds us that He loves us through His creation. He thinks of everything.

I rolled out of the comfort of the covers and made my way outside. The smoke from the wood heater bellowing out the top. I never get used to it, their voices in the hollow of the trees. The leaves falling all around us, they slip their feet into the chilled water and I watch as they splash and play...wondering how far they'll go if I let them. Letting them explore and taste and feel God's power here. Taylor made her way out with coffee and we talked as we watched them. Such special moments.

Channie loved being in this place. She took her toys down and played while I gazed up at the trees that seemed to go up to the clouds. They seemed to be dancing as the wind would blow through and they would rock back and forth.

She had to be called up to get ready to go and she begged to stay just a few more minutes. Her brown eyes pleading with me. Her eyes fully open to all the beauty that was surrounding her. The light was leaking out of the day and she knew that the darkness was gathering so she packed her things and made her way up the stairs to the front porch.

They wrapped in blankets and sat and laughed and listened to the quietness of winter approaching. The temperature was dropping like the leaves, and we made our way inside and shut the door to the cold. Tucker had chopped wood and kept our cozy fire going. We stayed up way too late and enjoyed each others company. Sneak away if you can. Collect heart rocks and play in the leaves.
Enjoy them and let them enjoy you.

A road trip that had us talking about God all weekend long....

October,2011

Doing What I Know

2011-10-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes early this morning and listened to him breathing next to me and knew it was too early to get up. I lay there, eyes closed in the darkness, and prayed. I remember one time a woman telling me if you wake up before everyone else it's because God may have gently woke you up so He could meet with you. So I have this habit of saying "ok, God. I'm awake, I'm listening." I'm reminded of the night before. Fevers, coughs, and runny noses and I put my head under my pillow and realize it's the day I walk out my joy, His joy, even when the day is not perfect. His warm arms move to find me in the dark. It's been one of those weeks where misunderstandings, and schedule conflicts have kept us going in different directions. Not this morning as I lay there talking to God.... He helps me realize that so much of conflict is selfishness. Thinking we know a better way or feeling justified in our feelings when we're mad or hurt. It's always going to be a part of life, but you see my clock keeps reminding me to stay close to him. My dad died 2 years ago and this is the one thing he left me. A clock that he had made. It doesn't work and the glass is broken but It does it's job. Reminding me to slow down.

This morning as I leave my room I know the day ahead will be full of grumpy babies and sick children but I know what to do. I read somewhere that an amateur gets confused and overwhelmed. I'm no amateur. I go straight to my camera and start picking the beauty of the day out of the sickness.

Like how I know when Cullen is sick by the slightest weakness in his eyes. I've held him, I know him and I've studied him. So I just know. That makes me an expert on Cullen. So I'm not confused.

Like the way I know how to pull out black beauty and start my chicken to boiling adding a pitch of salt and olive oil to the water. Knowing she will come in handy just about around lunch time when they will be hungry, but not sure for what. I always make chicken and dumplings and have them simmering on the stove. They can smell them cooking from wherever they're at in the house. I will feed them because I know what they like even before they ask. I'm no amateur.

My living room holds most of them and I stand at the stairs and pray over them and they don't even know.
The coldness of the day will not move into my home. I will keep blankets out and books around and a big pot of chicken and dumplings going on the stove. I will not stop having joy. I will tend to each of them differently. Cooper loves to have you lay with him..Channie does too. Jo loves to be somewhere quiet and sleep it off. Cullen will tell you thank you over and over again for waiting on him. Tuck and Taylor just want to sleep. The girls just want you to hold them, they just want to be around someone.
So it was no surprise when I felt her little soft body crawl in my bed with her dad and I this morning. Josie always wants to snuggle and this morning it was extra special as we whispered to her how much we loved her. My mission field busy this particular day but I had to let you know to count It all joy in whatever it is that this day brings to your doorstep.

blessings from the Farm

The minute hand..

2011-10-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Girls in the autumn colors of our farm. Their growing startles me and my growing startles me. What did I think? We would stand in time and they stay little and I stay young? It didn't happen. The wind blows through the tall trees and time blows through them and me. Time, it's always about the time. Why do I see these clocks going off in my head? Rushing to make sure I say and do the things that need to be done. Is it because of the little ones that I never got to parent? Was it the trip to Africa and the sad faces of little boys and girls who begged me to bring them home? Was it baby William laying in my arms saying goodbye to me before I even got to whisper in his ear that I loved him? Was it the girls? When they were placed in my arms and the gratitude I felt when they were given to me for the first time?

My clocks going off... reminding me to breathe before I get angry. A clock reminding me to enjoy before they leave. A clock that reminds me to stand, cuddle, and laugh. My days revolve around them like the clocks little minute hand. I never stop. I'm always talking, changing diapers, fixing boo-boos, watching movies and washing their clothes that seem to pile up more day after day. I talked to God yesterday and I was thanking Him for the noise of my home. I told Him that I didn't look forward to the emptiness of my walls, the rest my floors would have when they left. The quietness that is slowly moving it's way closer. He didn't answer me but I know He knows my heart. He probably laughed at me and told me to be content and not worry about tomorrow and it's quietness. I keep talking anyway because I know He listens. I ramble on and on about His children and ask Him to forgive me if I haven't parented the way He wants me to today. He listens, He always listens and I'm thankful that I can pour myself out to Him and He gets me, because He made me.

The fall winds blowing in the rain. I can't believe it's time for the seasons to change once again. It's happening faster and faster. The minute hand ticking and always moving. I stand in the wet grass and see my girls enjoying each other. I know it's just a matter of time before she is married and gone. Leaving this farm for her on true love, packing her suitcase for her journey to her own home. Leaving this farm and only coming home to visit.

Coming home to remember her own childhood here. The Lord preparing me for the quietness of her being gone. I cry out to Him but He ever so gently reminds me that I will let go of all of them one day. I will swing open the door of my home and let them go.

If I'm being honest I will miss so much about them now. Her being my best friend. Walking beside me, loving me, her secret letters, yoga mats, and trips to the mail-box... the way she loves her music when she cooks. The ways she gets hyper when she drinks Dr. Pepper. Her willingness to listen and her want to be heard.

I will miss the way sisters live together, sleep together, laugh together. I hear the clocks ticking and it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing. It's a constant reminder to keep focus. To enjoy every single moment and to lighten up and not take things so seriously. To not be easily offended, and to keep my head in the game.

The rain starts to come down and Channie-Mae is tired of picture taking so we head in to the house and I start my day again.
It's the same thing I do everyday and I listen to the ticking of the clock and I enjoy the here and now and decide not to worry about the quietness that the future will bring.

Dangling Feet...

2011-10-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

The weekend was full of friends and laughter as we filled our home. We cooked and sat around our big table while people danced and sang. We prayed and gave thanks for the many blessings that God has given to us.

Why do so many close their doors and stow away and never open up their home? I have amazing friends who have helped me learn the art of hospitality and I'm so grateful for their teaching because my home is open and full most of the time now and along with that comes a full and open heart. Loving on some amazing people and being loved on more by those same people. My children learning the art of hospitality and serving those that come through our home.

The girls all got cowgirl outfits and for two days I had to keep putting on these hot pink costumes. You know I don't mind though. I can't help but to look in the future and know that I will cherish this picture. They are talking now and I went to tuck them in the other night and Ellie goes "mama lay down." I laid next to her small little body and sang her a song, when I got up she cried and I had to leave. I stood for a minute outside her door and then I went right back in and laid beside her until she drifted off. She has never asked before and I'm not promised tomorrow so I cuddled and snuggled and prayed for her. I tiptoed out and slowly shut the door. I will never forget her smell and the way her little voice sang "Jesus loves Me" in the darkness of her little purple room.

Their little feet dangle as we're practicing a song we're learning and I had a moment when I reached for my camera and I thought "they wont dangle for long". Her long legs already closer to the ground then the week before. She is growing like a weed along with the rest of them and I'm here, I would be no where else. I wouldn't trade all the noise and piles of clothes, crying, hugs, kisses and band-aid moments for anything else in the world. I am a mom who loves her job. I know I'm working myself out of a job and I love that also.
I encourage you to slow down and see their feet dangle. Take a picture if you have to. In this moment of time God allows you to be their mama and if you fail to see the beauty of the every day then you fail. God gives us children as gifts to be unwrapped slowly and cherished.

I can't do an update without toothless grins and boys in hats. The reminder of fall and football.

I took a walk out across the pasture tonight and lay on the earth and looked up and saw the vastness of the sky and was amazed by my God. I look into the eyes of my children and am amazed at how He loves me.

Again I say

Thank you God!

He whispers "I have entrusted you with much"

2011-09-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

This house I call home, it is where people flock for help. For a glass of water, for a welcoming smile, for a story of redemption, for a place to belong. “Come and listen,” we say. “Come and listen to what He’s done for us. For you.” These 8 will leave, but more will come. They always come. I don’t know why us and I don’t know why here. Our house is a wreck and dinner is late. We make a ruckus in the grocery store and we don’t get invited out much because surely we will bring a screaming baby or worse, crazy people. We are late to church and sometimes we get there and one doesn’t have shoes and one forgot to comb her hair. We are the messy ones. And we pray and we pray that we could spill out the grace of God. Kissing Katie from Africa

Enjoy them

Play with them

Laugh at them

Be with them

Study them

Never give up on them

His Gifts

2011-09-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

We light their candles on their birthday cake and their eyes twinkle in the

dancing candle light. We sing a jolly rendition of "Happy Birthday"

and they clap and sing with us.These little girls who became a part

of our lives when they were only 3 weeks old. Do we ever stop and wonder

why God chose us to be a part of our children's life? What part do we play

in this story, His story? Do I know what I'm supposed to be doing on this

stage of His concerning His daughters?

His, as in not mine.

He chose their life, He gave them breath and then

He chose our family to help raise them up. I sit and wonder at it all.

I'm honored to be the mother of these two little girls as I am the other six.

We have lots of celebrations of birthdays around here.

With ten people in the house there is almost one a month.

The making of cake, the blowing out of candles, the wish..

yes. there is always the wish.

The smoke drifts from their candles and I drift to the day we got "the call."

"We have twins girls who are going to be released from the hospital in a few

days. Could y'all take twins?"

My heart guarded as I knew so many things could go wrong with

this situation. We said yes.. we could take twins.

Still not letting myself even think beyond praying for these two I go about my week as usual.

But the call comes.

"Congratulations, you have twins!" says the voice on the other end,

not even giving me time to breathe.

My heart still not trusting, still not believing.

I end up not believing until I hold their little frames to mine.

only 4lbs and I hold them as if they might just break into a million pieces.

I hold them like I never got to hold baby William. Feeling their warm bodies

and smelling their sweet baby skin. Trying to focus as the tears fall.
I cannot contain myself. His gift so wondrous, so great. His gift
to me so over the top.
I take them in and let God do his work on my heart. Healing a part of it
that has been broken.

Two years later and I'm still thanking Him.

I will always thank Him, never forgetting that He chose us. Never forgetting the gift that
our children are from a Father who loves and bestows great and wonderful
gifts to us.

Happy Birthday Ellie Cate and Josie Claire
2011

Remember to visit more

2011-09-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's been way too long since our last visit. She's 100 years old and she sits there in that big ol' chair all day not able to get up and move around or do much of anything anymore. We walk in and her Grandma White smile shines as bright as the sun that beams in behind her. All of us huddle around her chair and she just takes them in. One by one she looks into their dark brown eyes and remembers or tries to remember their name. There is just too many of them. Her great grand children stand in front of her, black and white and she just takes them in. She knows her though and her eyes stop on Chandler-Mae Grayce White because this little girl was named after her. She remembers.

She smiles at Channie and says, "Do you like being named after grandma?" Channie-Mae says, "Yes, M'am" I'm not sure Channie knows yet what being named after someone really means. Carrying someones name with you for the rest of your life. Keeping a part of that person tucked somewhere deep within you until your last breath, keeping that person alive.

They were both just happy to sit a spell and stare at each other. One so very old and one so very young. Her eyes are still young though even after 100 years. She gently takes her and pulls her close and Channie, not quite knowing what to do, just gives into Grandma's hug. I look away because I feel the hot tears starting to seep. Old age seems so hard.
I look around the nursing home at the faces there. They once were young, I can only imagine that they never saw themselves sitting in chairs all day watching the hours tick. Sitting and eyes gone bad so you can't read or sew or even watch T.V. anymore. Just sitting. We stay a little while and then it's time to leave. She chuckles as I gather everyone up "how do you feed all these kids?" the same question she always asks me.
"I don't know Grandma, it's not hard. Just make double what you would."
She laughs " I guess so." I want to ask her how she sits here all day. What she thinks about. What she wishes she could do over. If she could run, where would she run to? Questions I don't ask.

I reach over and grab her hand to say bye and I promise to be better about visiting. We slip out the door and wade through the faces of the very old who look at us as we pass.

Remember to visit more.

The living

2011-09-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

If you lived with us you would notice that food is always something big at our house. We're either buying food, or planning meals, or making meals, or setting the table for our food, or cleaning up after food. It's funny how food brings our family together.We love good food. We love the smell of it and the taste of it at night when the table's been set and we're waiting for daddy's lights to be seen on the driveway.

Our cook-books and recipes can be found everywhere. List of groceries we will need always on the bar.

Our little black beauty that we got at the world's largest yard sale has more than paid for herself.
She sits all day and cooks just about everything you can imagine.

This is our newest addition to our family. We call him Lucky. He was named Lucky for several reasons.

We don't normally do cats
Our cats are farm animals that normally find their food in the pasture, meaning we don't buy cat food. No sissy cats around here. You hunt for your food. Our cats are tough.
Lucky found his way into our hearts and into our house.
Lucky gets a medium priced store bought cat-food that I feel fairly good about buying for him. I don't want this poor thing to have to go hunt for his food. He might starve to death.
Taylor is not a cat lover and well Lucky found his way into her heart by ending up in her dirty clothes pile and she let him <3 It's love I tell ya.

Speaking of love these two are on again and off again. This weekend they were full blast packed out full of love. I have to tell you a secret though. It's H-A-R-D having twins. It's been an experience that has had us crying from lack of sleep to rolling laughing as they tell each other "no cry, baby". They have tested me to my inner core and they continue to keep me on my scarred up knees, banging on the doors of heaven asking for wisdom..I know I post their "good side" most times but that's because of their little reputations that I'm trying to protect.. Not because I'm trying to make you think I have it all together because, believe me with twins, from what I've heard, you never really have it all together again. Hmmmmmm. So I will spare you the going into their room after you've laid them down for the 5th time only to find both of their diapers off laying in the floor and their sheets soaking wet....? Why did you do that I ask them? I really want an answer. They both say diaper as they point to the floor. I will spare you the stealing of each others food and they both blame the other. You never know who really did it. I will spare you the obsession they have with shoes. They want shoes on all the time and when you lay them down for a nap or night-time and you pull their little feet out of their shoes they cry like you just ripped out their soul. I will spare you the early, I mean early, wake up call. I will also spare you the crying that the two these sisters can do and when done in unison will drive you slap crazy.
See, I spared you the messy details. Aren't you glad? I would rather you know the side of them that loves like crazy. The side that gives BIG puckered up lip kisses. The side of Josie that sucks her thumb and rubs her outie belly button and how darn cute she looks when she does it. How when I put on footy pajamas she cries because the zipper is hiding her belly button and I have to un-zip her so she can rub it...

I want you to know how very much they love this guy down there, their older brother. They adore him and he adores them. He is protective and loving, kind with these girls. They call him Tuck-Tuck and I simple call him a wonderful son. He is the most generous person I think I have ever been around. He loves to do for others. He has a lawn care business and worked all summer for a christian mechanic. He also helped some of our friends {tornado victims} rebuild. He has a few computer businesses on the side as well. He is saving his money so he can expand his business next summer and putting a few dollars back for his future family.
He is earning his eagle scout badge. He is busy but work is good. He has few friends outside of our family not because he's not a likable guy but because he's busy. He's available to his family and helps us in so many ways.

Having older children, I see the blessings of teaching them patience and understanding when it comes to their younger brothers and sisters. There's not a "typical" day around here.. you have to be flexible and willing to give of yourself and well that's not normal. We gets lots of, "what about your older kids? why should they have to help burden themselves with helping just because you have a large family? They should have their own life...They should be normal teenagers and get to hang out with their friends and express themselves blah blah blah"........Come on, it makes me so mad. The same people who say all that stuff are also the same people who say the world has gone to hell in a hand basket....and I want to say, "well responsibility builds character" and that our society at large has taken all responsibility out of our children's lives and has inserted 'let me do everything for you' and when young men can't hold down jobs or young ladies have to be taught how to change a diaper or cook by our school systems, something is wrong. We try and give our children a better life than what we had... but is it really better? You are who you are and I am who I am because of the hard-times. Why do we take all hard-times out and then wonder why there are so many weak kneed young adults? Just thinking out loud. Teach them to work and work hard and work along side you and then when you play, play hard.
For the rest of Tucker's life he will have to work. He will be providing for a family. He has to learn now that work is not an option.

Taylor graduated this year and her days are filled with family and work. She does all the cooking and helps with teaching little ones to read. She works for her daddy two days a week and she has a job at our church as a wedding coordinator. She is starting online classes at Penn Foster to be a certified wedding planner.
Oh, and she wants to get married and have lots of babies..and homeschool..So not normal :)

She is my right hand and so much more. She is 18 and for years people made remarks like "just wait until they get older" well I'm right in the middle of older with her and can I just say I love it? Truly, the Lord has blessed me with remarkable older teenagers but these two are our guinea pigs if you will. They have always had to work hard. Up early with chores and work on the farm or helping with babies. They have been raised old school if you will. No free rides I've said more than one time (probably more than a thousand), "if you don't help you don't eat".....they always help. Bad attitudes are not part of our everyday life. We have them, we all have them, but we work them out..We talk a lot and read scripture and sings songs of God's grace and love.
We make the ones that don't get along work together and sleep together and share a plate until they show me that they can get along. What's the use if your kids can get along with other kids at church and hate the very people in their home? Teach them and beg God for love between brothers and sisters. Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in harmony. Expect it and don't ever expect any less. Don't listen to the lie that brothers and sisters get on each others nerves and that's normal. They will fight and fuss. They will disagree, but teach them to love first and work out their differences under God's rules not the worlds "normal".

I hope you don't mind my soap box but, be encouraged and grow in grace as we live out our daily walk together.

Living...

Hurricane Lee blew in the rain

2011-09-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

They just woke up and the rain had set in, millions of drops, slowly falling endlessly out my window.
I told them to go get their swim suits on and grab a bar of soap that they would take their bath outside today.
Roars of laughter went up and the excitement mounted as they went in all directions looking for their swimsuits. They ran into the wet stuff as if they had never played in rain before but we all know they have. There is something about rain though that makes each time like new and must be run through and felt all over again. Faces feeling the cool drops of the hurricane rain as I called it, their wet footprints running and jumping on this land. Their laughter echoing off the trees that stand along our borders

The girls not so sure of their first outside shower, so they took it slow. Josie sucking her thumb and getting rather sleepy in the swing as she looked out over the rain soaked farm. Ellie kept looking up as if wondering where all the wet stuff came from. The drum-drum-drum of the rain hitting the ground mixed with the laughter of children that live here, these are the things that memories are built of, experiencing the rain.

I remember as a little girl every time it rained my dad would send me and my brothers out side with a bar of ivory soap and we would wash in the rain, just like my kids are now. I still remember the smell of the soap when the water hit it. I pray they remember their rain baths and send their own kids out .

After their rain showers they came in and dried off , snuggled in covers two by two and read their new books. Younger ones listening while older ones read but each one clean and warm and smelling the familiar smell of something good cooking.

While they were reading Taylor and I made cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate. I looked around and smiled at the memories we had made in only a couple of hours. I'm so thankful for the wind that moves our trees and brings in the millions of rain-drops that call me to send my children out and to play in the rain. I'm thankful for the food that brings us together smiling and laughing around our table.

I'm thankful that my children don't mind still getting wet. I have played in rain with Taylor and Tucker but they have passed over and will not play in the wet stuff anymore, a small reminder that these little ones will one day say no also to the rain-drops, so I have to enjoy the moment now and build memories that will forever be etched in their minds.

Field of vision

2011-08-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm watching the sky get ready for sleep and waiting for my husband

to come home from a long day. It seems like I'm always waiting for him to come home.
The endless green of our farm laid open before me. The colors of black and white (my children) playing on the harvested hay that is our backdrop for the day.
Tomorrow they will be scooped up by big tractors and stored for winter somewhere but today we play on them and climb and build memories on these big balls made of grass.
She, being small against the tall pines

of our farm, can't make it by herself so he scoops her up and carries her. It's always teaching and reminding but today, I didn't have to remind him. He just remembered.

The thick grasses hurt her feet but when he carried her she held tight

and once again when they got to the hay she couldn't get up.

He gently put her down and then felt

his own face in the grass as he used himself to lift her up so she would be
tall enough to make it. I'm there with camera in hand, I don't want
them to ever forget the times they played on sweet bales of hay that lay open
in our pasture, with the back drop of the bluest skies.
I don't want her to forget what sweet brothers she has. Our memory
plays tricks on us. We forget the sweet times and sometimes only remember
the times that we have been wronged or hurt and I, with my lens, focus on brothers who
figure out a way to get her to the top. I focus on the smallness and on
the living that is learning to give up ones right so someone else
can make it up first. She finally gets there and the brother who helped
gets a kiss that sends rollings knots in my stomach because I feel so
very blessed to witness God's beautiful gift of brothers and sisters
loving and cherishing one another.

Stains..

2011-08-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

My clothes stained from the day. I look cautiously at the clock

and finish buttering the bread. The choice is mine.

Do I retreat to freshen up or will he understand? I keep
on and it seems like there is always something else to do.

The door opens, he's early. The kids screaming, "Daddy!!".

I have noone to hold to cover my stains. I just stand and wait my

turn. He catches my eye and he grabs me as if it's been days since he

last kissed me. I melt in his embrace and I'm thankful that I stand a little

tired, a little stained, but he pulls me to him with such ease.

His words still echoing from our morning talk,

"Lean on me Robin, I can handle it."

I believe him.

I could not possibly have enough hours with this man.

The days could never ADD up "to enough".

The table is set, the food is hot, the conversations loud, and no-one

notices that I have stains on my shirt.

Reposted from the archives...

To See is everything

2011-08-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

My days are filled and sometimes I get so busy that I fail to see everything that I need to. I see love, I see conflict between my children and me and Scott on occasion.
I see the wondering of one of my children seeing something big as life when I've seen the same thing thousands of times and have forgotten that it is special. I fail to see my life through the eyes of my Father. My Father's world right here in front of me and I fail to see it.

The days around here sometime feel as if they all run together. Sometimes I have the flickering hope that they, being the children, got what I was trying to teach them yesterday only to see that flicker snuffed out today.
I scarcely know how to proceed on such days.

Everyday my view changing so that I see things differently.( This is one of the many reasons I will never write a book on parenting or tell you for certain that the way I'm doing it is the best way because I feel terribly unqualified.) Maybe when I'm 70 and my children are well vested in their life and are walking out their faith and are not messed up to the point that they may need counseling :) then I might write a book.
I'm not saying I won't mentor younger moms because I do and I will give you my opinion if asked, but to have my thoughts on paper might just seem to me, wasted paper.

Right now my view is always changing, because the Lord is always changing and working on me. He has so much work left to do and I keep asking him if he's going to finish this work in me before I mess everything up. (He gets my humor)
So I'm forever looking at things different. Getting a different perspective each day. Always seeing if it lines up with the word of God. If it doesn't then yet again I change the way I do it because my pride leads me down deceiving paths that I almost believe that I'm right a lot of the time.

To see is everything. To see where God has you and where God wants you. To see where God wants your children and everyday push them more to be there in that place that He wants them not where you want them.

To wake up before the dawn and see the world around you before the Lord warms it with His sun.
You need Him in this journey of mother-hood. No-one has all the answer's except for him. Glean from others but sit at His feet and pester Him for the true answer's, and I do daily.

I see new days, new sun-rises as a day to reteach what I taught yesterday and keep teaching it until they have it. I see a new day to love and to show such sweet kindness within my walls maybe a gentleness that is unrecognizable by the world outside my living room windows.
To see my home, my failures, my victories through the eyes of God because what I think doesn't matter anyway.

kissing boo boo's

2011-08-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

Posted from the archives:

I feel new to this mommy thing sometimes. I'm always trying to teach my boys to be 'tough' and teach my girls to be 'ladies'. Well today, in the midst of the rush of the front door slamming for the hundredth time, I hear the cries of my little fellow. I stop what I'm doing and go to him long

enough to say "you'll be alright" and the brown eyes look back as if to say " yeah, I will, but I just wanted something". As he was walking off he leaned in and kissed himself on the arm and as if the place had healed almost instantly he was on his way. I stared and then I instantly drug this cute little three year old back and sat down in front of him and looked for his hurt. I looked for something to kiss. I looked for a way to make up for the moment I had just lost. The moment for my kisses to make it all better.The moment for me to be his hero. The moment for me to make a difference in his little life.

I have very few moments in Cullen's life where my kisses will heal his hurt. When my kisses will make it all better, and I blew it today.

I kissed him and I kissed him, over and over, until we we're both laughing.Until I could feel the forgiveness that I so desperately needed.

Last night Cullen was lying in bed beside me, under the clean crisp sheets and the warmth set in between us and I said "Cullen, do you want to get married when you grow up?" and he said, "yes ma'am" and I said, "who do you want to marry?" and he said, "mama". I know I beamed..I know my heart flooded..

I could not possibly deserve this kind of love in my life. I know what the Lord meant when He said we have to have faith like a child, because my children love me unconditionally and without regard to how I look that day or how much I blow it. They just love me. I guarantee I will not miss another chance to share my kisses to make it all better for anyone in my house.......

Lord, cause me to draw near today--to You, to others. Relationships are all there is.

My well

2011-08-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

Some days its hard giving everything I have to keep everyone happy, fed, and clothed.

I get overwhelmed at times with the vastness of the responsibility before me.

Breathing God's word into their life. Giving them water when my well feels

dry as a bone.

The water comes but some days just in trickles. Just enough.

God never promised me more than that. Just enough for the day, for the moment

Is all He promised. I take a breath and look into my well and I can see

the bottom. Oh Lord, I'm not supposed to see the bottom. It's muddy

and cloudy. It is bitter and luke-warm.

I dig deeper.

I mess up. I grab my bucket and dip more water from my very small

well and pray that it's enough for them today. It never is.

Husband, and 8 children all needing what the Lord has given to me

as a wife and mother to hand out. My love and understanding, teaching them

to love one another, teaching them to understand grace and mercy.

My bucket runs dry. It comes up out of my well

bone dry, no water. On this day I have nothing. I can't give to them

because I have nothing to give.

My bucket is always being tipped and the water spilling out onto them and spilling

out onto the dry parched earth that soaks it up. How much did they get?

I'm always going to Him saying, "Lord, I have nothing else to give.

I feel empty, used up. I need my well to be deeper."

He gives.

Oh, He gives anew every single day. Some days He gives in abundance

and other days He gives me just enough to get through. At the end of the day

I'm saying, "well, it wasn't pretty but we made it through." Other days

we are standing soaking wet with God's faucet turned all the way on

and we're dancing in His water.

I realize that it's not important how deep my well is.

I have a heavenly Father who's well is overflowing with

clean, pure, abundant water and He tells me to come

and drink it. He tells me to give it to others who are thirsty.

Lord, help me not look into my own well today and see a sloppy

muddy mess or look in and see the dust.

Let me always go and kneel at your well and plead for your water.

The water that is overflowing.

Your perfect water..that covers me when I have nothing.

To be real.

2011-08-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

I can never seem to find the words to what I am thinking. I mean, they are all there in my head. So eloquently explaining my point or caressing their way around my heart making me feel so warm and cozy. But when I try to write them or even worse, say them, they just don't come.

My life is sometimes.....a loss for words. If you were to stand on your tiptoes and look through the window, the one with the curtains blowing in the wind and the flowers on the pane, the window of my life, you would think that from the outside it looked clean and orderly, pretty and thoughtful. A closer look inside would reveal a parlor, where all my guest come, a place where everything has it's place. All the best books were displayed on a shelf. My handy-work (not that I have any) draped across the sofa, and a plate of cookies (or maybe a basket of my rolls) on the coffee table. Yes, it makes quite a good first impression. It has all the right charms and the lighting, along with peaceful piano music playing the background is controlled for just the right mood. Words are taped on the walls on crisp white paper. Words that seem so nice they could almost be flattery. Words that you're sure have to be sincere because, well, this parlor couldn't hold anything but perfection.

Then, a door opens and lets you peer into another room, the plain and ordinary "family" room of my life. It's decorated tastefully, just in case anyone were to look in, but it lacks a certain charm that my parlor had, a certain "willingness" to please. a certain something. You can tell that I'm more comfortable in this room. Letting my guard down, I leave things lying around. Less impressive books strewn across the table, music playing that isn't exactly "uplifting", and some crumbs of some junk food or another kicked to the side of the floor. I leave the light a tad darker in this room, so as not to expose all of the dusty nooks and crannies, because once again, someone like you might look in. The words taped along the wall here are far less flattering and far more impatient. They are written in hasty handwriting on dingy scraps of post-its and though some of them are kind most of them make you feel uncomfortable that you are looking in.

You are about to walk away from my window, thinking there is nothing left to see, when another door opens and by stretching on up to your highest height possible you can just make out what must be my bedroom.

My private room. The one that hardly anyone goes in. The room where I'm alone.

This room, is a mess. Sheets and bedding are thrown across the bed haphazardly, it hasn't been made for days. The curtains are drawn and it's almost pitch black except for a tiny lamp that is on my nightstand. You can't make out what music is playing, not because its so covered up by the sound of the classical in the parlor, and the "other" in the family room, but because its on my ipod, so that no one hears it but me.

Its my music, I love it, I'm attached to it, so it stays in my room. on my ipod. Its not bad, its just not something I would share with friends. You notice stacks and stacks of book, and a bible. The books that look interesting, things like Jane Austen and Charles Dickens, you can tell are well read but placed on a shelf. The books lying open are magazines on "the latest". Things that help me to look better. My bible? You can't tell for sure but you think it might have been read in the last few days, its on the top of the nightstand at least. The floor is a mess of clothes and shoes, and cups and plates are scattered on every free surface. There are words taped all over this room as well, but the same words have been re-wrote so many times that they are almost inaudible. You squint and cup your hands to the glass, trying to just make out one....You realize that these words are things I've said over and over in my thoughts, under my breath, by my looks, and even out loud. and you can't believe that the same person who welcomes people into the nice and pretty parlor, lives and acts in the way of this bedroom. It just doesn't seem possible.

All of a sudden you hear a noise and realize what you've been doing, peaking into my life, and you walk away......and that's it. You don't have any reason to be happy or move forward with a vigilance to "do better". You don't walk away with any encouragement. You really just found that, like most people in the world, I'm fake. I put on a good show for the first, second, and third impression. But after that? you're family, so you get treated like family, which isn't better. It's slightly worse. and if you're really special, I let you into my bedroom, because its just such a nice place, right?

.....

Oh, how I long for my heart, my "house" to be so pleasing to God so that no matter who looked in or who went by or listened in or who heard what I said would be encouraged. Not for my good name or my praise but for HIS. Right now, the above picture of a house is me. and I so want to be real and true for HIM. I want to display Christ. Why should my personal room be the darkest and most secretive? Why shouldn't it be the one you look in first? the one with the open window and the breeze blowing in? The one that is neat and tidy and encourages you with the nice words and uplifting songs? Why do we have to be fake?? Why can't the love of Christ in me flow forth out into everything I do and touch and see and hear and smell???

Oh, Lord, that you would make me into this kind of person. For your praise and not mine. For your good name and not mine. For your glory and not mine.

...........

Written by my daughter, Taylor.

Why?

2011-08-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's hot. I'm not in the best of moods, but I stop and let them play.

Why?
I stop and let them out because one day the colorful park

will have no meaning to them like it does now.

Why?

The swings and monkey bars will just be something they pass by on their busy way.

It won't get them excited. It wont make them jump

and squeal with delight when you pull in.

Life gets hard as they get older. They get busy...

I stop because to have them all on the playground of life together

for these next few years should be enjoyed and as I look

out over the park and see my children scattered, but together,

I'm once again humbled at how fast the time goes by.

Their laughs mingled. Their tears shared.

Their games together.

One day these will just be pictures they look at and flip to the next page

but right now this is my life. These pictures are what I will leave

to the them when I'm no longer here on this earth.

My legacy to them of their childhood memories.

They will look back and see that their childhood was filled

with parks, laughter, friendships, discipline, and yes, hard times.

I want them to remember holding hands and playing peek-a-boo together down a short road that

they will not remember without these pictures.

That's why I stop.

I grab a picture or two and I remember for them.

I snap their daily life together because one day they will move on and these times will be pressed out.

I stop because the ice-cream eating, park swinging,

slippy sliding, cat loving, movie watching, pallet sleeping,

note writing, doll playing, days are short.

I stop.

Maybe you're just too busy to even think about stopping or

notice the road that you're on but, can I remind you that it's short?

Their laughter is loud but when they get older their laughter is replaced with hard decisions

and hard life choices.When they're little you can hold and rock them and fix

almost anything with a band-aid. You can stop at a park and they will

run, play, laugh and love you deeply for doing it.

When they're older you can't fix it. You just have to stand

next to them and remind them of God's mercy and blessings

and remind them to be thankful but they have to do it.

They have to walk their own road of faith.

So I stop on this day and enjoy the small pleasures of seeing them

enjoying the colored slides, the swings that make their stomach catch.

I stop to remind myself to slow down and swing, laugh, play

and take a picture to go in their future album and maybe help them remember why you stop.

The walk to the mailbox

2011-08-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

She does it almost everyday, takes that

long walk to the mail-box.

Her skirt blowing in the breeze and her

hair pulled up. The sun keeping her warm as she walks.

A smile comes to my face as I look

up and see her leave my sight.Anticipating which friend

will be waiting for her when she reaches the top.

Out of sight for a few minutes

and then I catch a glimpse of her.

Head down, there is no need to look up, she

knows her way home. She's done this

a thousand times since she could write.

Sending her thoughts across the p.o. boxes is as natural to her as eating.

Laying across her bed with new stationary and a few minutes, the sun

melts through the windows and she writes.

She just simply writes.

When she comes back in the house, her smile tells me that

the mailbox has not been a disappointment.

She re-reads her letters like they hold

a secret deep in side and she must search it out.

She inspires me to write.

She makes me long to go to the mail-box

and find a letter from a friend and with the last sun

of the day on my shoulders read it all the way home.

Posted from the Archives

The Heat

2011-08-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

The summer heat is pounding hard on the dry parched earth we call home.

The ground beneath our toes burns to the touch.

The garden almost done, barely hanging on

Taylor built the boys a tin foil river for the day.

The hours passed as they floated their men down.

I believe her mama is rubbing off on her.

She is always coming up with neat things to do with the kids

and I'm so thankful that one day she will share these

same things with her kids.

Channie and the girls stay in their pajamas all day.

Playing babies or blocks. They sit next to each other when there

is plenty of open chairs. Sharing a small space that only sisters

can share.

Cullen playing in the bathtub until I make him get out. The water long cold. He plays and

cools off from a hot day outside.

The girls sitting in a sink full of warm coconut lavender water while Taylor and I cook.

Pulling them out and wrapping them up in a towel and smelling their skin.

Now this really melts their mama's heart<3

Yes, the heat is out there, but we're in here.

Together for the day.

I'm so thankful for the coolness of my air

and the water that fills my tubs and sinks.

I'm thankful for these long summer days that I think will

never end, but soon enough the fall wind will show herself

and these days will be gone forever, so I enjoy them now.

My soup kitchen

2011-08-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

There is a love you cannot hide and these two girls certainly don't try

to hide their love for each other and us their family. They keep us moving around here.

They keep us remembering our blessings when they crawl up in our lap and share

themselves with us, with me, their mama.

They run down my halls and I run after them and when I catch them

I'm reminded of God's faithfulness..

I get to raise these little girls.

To love the Lord.

To love their father.

To love each other.

With Gods Grace I will not forget my mission.

Who Am I?

I'm totally not the perfect mother.

I'm unfit for such a job.

I'm unqualified.

I'm undeserving,

yet here I am.

I'm in the middle of a huge mission field.

I'm watching my door open and close a thousand times a day.

Someone always needy.

Someone always needing water and to be fed.

Someone needing patched up.

Some days I feel like I run a soup kitchen.

The faces happy, sad, lonely coming to my table.

I speaks words to each of them and wonder if I truly

ever make a difference.

I keep going, I keep feeding, and I keep my door

always open because I never know when I just might

be entertaining angels.:)

My life has settled in to a deep realization that my mission field calls out to me every single

day. It begs to be heard and it begs to be answered.

I answer my calling better some days than others.

but today I answer loud,

"Here I am" come sit a spell and let me adore you for the beautiful

gift that you are.

The rain is not silent

2011-07-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

She comes again. I see her rolling in from the distance. The dark clouds coming together,

the soft breeze waving the trees. Another day of rain. I hurry trying to get the clothes off the line.

They're flapping in the wind begging not to get wet.... Getting my attention from the window.

I hurry.

When she finally settles over the pasture, it rains hard. The drops as big as silver

dollars hitting our farm. I call the kids out to sit on the front porch with me.

They sit and I tell them to close their eyes.

They do. The rain hitting their land. I want them to memorize

the sound. How they feel when the breeze brings in a few drops.

I want them to remember rain on this farm. How silly they act when rain comes.

They slowly get up and as if the rain is calling them to come feel her,

they each take her in. Tasting her. and letting her get them wet.

They are wet head to toe. Their smiles huge as they indulge themselves with her.

Their laughter so loud I can't hear her drops fall anymore.

They're running and screaming and I'm sitting there

watching them, holding a baby... always holding someone.

I'm so thankful she came today. She's been here a lot lately and she makes me stop

doing chores. She draws me to watch her from my kitchen window as

she waters my flowers for me. She draws me out to sit and feel her coolness.

She helps me to slow down and enjoy the laughter that comes when

she shows up.

Dinner with the Lee's

2011-07-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

Once again they gather around our table...

without Tom this time.

It's different, but in so many ways it's the same.

Their smiles make us smile and their stories

make us remember the night of the tornado all over again.

Their tears mingle with our tears and drop

on my table.

A reminder of the healing still taking place.

Each one remembering that night as if it were just yesterday.

Tears still fall and the mention of the hours spent trapped still vivid

in each of their minds but the thankfulness always present.

Always first...

and

Always Last...

Tiff was hurt the worst and is still walking with a cane. She

talks of that night and closes her eyes.

She talks of being trapped underneath the rubble and

holding a blanket in her mouth so she doesn't yell out in pain.

The tears come for all of us as she recalls hearing "roll call"

and wondering who was going to answer and who wasn't this time.

She recalls the pain and then as quickly as she does

she recalls the grace of God for letting her survive.

The girls each wear a chain around their neck with a picture of

their beloved father. They each remember his voice above the winds

praying. They will always remember his loud prayers for each of them.

God answered Tom's prayers that night.

His children and wife were spared.

Jeff and Kathy were one of the first to get to the Lee's and they

all kept saying how "their voices" helped them because they knew

someone was there to help.

Sherry told the story of the day before the tornado Tom had stopped spontaneously

and bought a jack and lift because it was on sell. It was still in his truck and that night

of the tornado that one jack lifted the debris off his family.

How did he know?

Why did he decide on that day to go buy one?

My table full once again with this precious family

and I'm reminded of God's Faithfulness as I look around

that night.

Thank you Lord for the life of this family.

and how very much they mean to us.

July 2011

The Lie

2011-07-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

A Slower day is coming..

It's the promise of a slower day that keeps us from doing the most important things in our lives.

Being the wife to our husbands

Being the mother to our beautiful children.

It's the lie that we believe that one day soon

things will slow down and we will get to do all the

things with our children that we think about. It's the lie

that keeps us from being loving affectionate wives to our

husbands. When I get the kids settled then it will be his time.

The lie..

It's the lie that keeps us so busy with things

that should not be in our lives at all.

Things that keep us from our precious family.

We'll have a good time when the bills are paid

When the skies are blue

When the baby sleeps all night.

When everyone is well

When the business picks up

When the house is remodeled

When..

This one lie has revolutionized our lives.

The slower day is not coming.

Things will not slow down or get easier.

You have to learn to work around all the other

distractions in your life. Don't learn to work around your

husband and children.

Enjoy them now..

While there's still time.

Laugh with them

Play with them

Run after them until you catch them

Cook their favorite meals

Snuggle alot

Lay across their beds and just listen

Invest yourself...

God has shined his goodness on you this day.

Enjoy it and bask in His goodness don't miss it

and don't buy the lie.

Who's missing at your table?

2011-07-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

Their finger prints are everywhere. Their little feet touching my hardwoods and moving themselves at a slow pace up and down our home. Falling and having someone come to their rescue and help them up just like the Lord used them to help me up. Their smiles a constant reminder of how much the Lord loves me.
These two are a healing of my heart. When the Lord took William out of our life He knew these two would need me, would need us, but I did not. The peeling away of a new life is painful but now their little shadows take up residence down the hall from my room. They have brought with them a love so deep and so true that I can hardly have enough of them. The healing of my heart tied so closely with their presence. The Father's love so freely given to me through them. The healing of losing a baby and getting to love again. Getting to love these precious girls is a gift. Adoption is a road less traveled yet there are so many babies that need a home and there are so many who need the love of a baby.Yet they refuse... refuse to open their home, their wallet, their life...I'm just being honest. They refuse to travel out of their comfort zone.

So they go on believing that someday a baby will appear or when things get better financially or when they get a bigger house when......when.......never. They listen to the world whisper in their ear that adoption is too hard and the bills too high. They listen to relatives who tell them it will never work. They keep their ears

tuned to the deafening sound of the noise that the world loves to throw out there....they keep telling Him to wait.

Adoption has changed our lives that's for sure but without first giving up the life of a precious son named William I could not experience the love and gentleness of Josie and Ellie. I had to do hard things with the Lord first. We had to go against the world and all the lies and let God guide us through the maze.
Adoption is hard. The road is long but it is do-able. So many have bought the lie that everything should come to us easily and without much effort and that's simply not the truth. Pregnancy is filled with hard days, long nights, and a certain dying of self..Adoption is not much different.

Children are a blessing.. not just healthy children, black children, white children, but just simply children...are a blessing.

Who are you missing at your table?
I'm so thankful that these two are sitting at my table sharing my food,
sharing my home, and I'm sharing with them the love and mercy of a Father...

Posted from the archives....

One, two, three.... jump!

2011-07-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

She jumped

He caught her

She was scared

She reassured her

He thought he was king of the water

and he was for the day.

They're "double trouble" in a good way

but he can handle them and he does

She needed a cool off

and she got one...

They flew through the air and protected

our space. They splashed and swam until

all of them were ready to come home.

The hot summer days of swimming and playing are my

favorite memories with this family of mine.

Sharing their life and them sharing mine.

Summer 2011

The fence

2011-07-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

Living on a farm we have had our share of a variety animals

over the years. It was this particularly hot summer day that I remember

very vividly. We had two goats, anna bell and mama bell, and in order to keep them "up"

we had strung an electric fence around their new home.

Taylor, being 3 years old at the time, didn't understand the fence or why

our new pets had to stay in one.

Her dad and I explained it time and time again and why

she should never touch the fence because it is "hot".

Throughout the day I saw her walking towards the fence getting

a little closer each time. Each time I would stop what I was doing

and run to her and explain it one more time. Her dad did the same thing

over and over that day. I saw her reach out and almost touch it

before we again would come and remind her..

She didn't really believe us, because as we were busy about our work

I heard a scream and I went to the fence.

There was my little girl crying. She had touched the fence.

She had done what was right in her eyes.

The very thing I had pleaded with her not to touch she had touched.

She didn't believe what I had to say because she ended up finding out the hard way that

the fence was hot.

I knew the fence was hot.

Because somewhere along my life I had touched

a fence and I knew the pain that it would bring.

Unfortunately, I had failed to train her at the time.

As I have learned 7 children later I pray that I'm being a lot

more deliberate in my training of authority and how the Lord

puts authority in your life to keep you from hot fences.

Having a generational vision means that I have

been places and done things that have not been right or good.

I want you to know that as your mama I will tell you what is good

and you can trust those things are good.

I will also tell you what things are bad and I trust that my children

can learn from my mistakes and stand on my shoulders instead

of saying, "the fence might have been hot to you, but it won't be hot to me".

Praying my children have wisdom.

I heard Paul Washer say

"Wisdom was not born with me

and it will not die with me."

It is learned.

Get in God's word.

Trust the authority He has put in your life.

Keep listening and trust even when you don't understand.

My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge..

Everyone does what is right in their own eyes.

Teaching my children now some 14 years later I always encourage

them to get Godly counsel from their father or me or

older brothers or sisters. Teach your children to ask and ask often.

That little girl has now grown up.

Fortunately, for her, we have taught her with God's grace to listen to authority

that God has placed around her,

and now being 18 she has no problem going to her father

or me for advice she wants it and she listens. She heeds

the advice of our elders and the men in our church and Godly women

that she respects.

James 1v5

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you..

Things they will remember..

2011-07-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

He is a very busy man. His name is Brock Ray. He has a radio show and used to have his own
T.V show for hunting, Outdoor World with Brock Ray. He has traveled the world over and happened
to marry my very best friend in the whole wide world.. Over the years he has given each of our boys a camouflage bible, a knife, hunting clothes and lessons in shooting.

He is ridiculously busy. He is starting a guide school in Colorado and has several other businesses.
So when he asked to come get the "boys" to take them to Chattanooga, Tenn for the day I was overwhelmed with his generosity. He has hunted deer, elk, bears, buffalo, wild hogs, and numerous other wild animals but never three White boys all by himself. He picked them up and was buckling car seats and cracking jokes and our boys were soooo excited. He put aside his work for the day and invested his time into our boys/family. A day they will not soon forget. He even sent pictures through out the day so we could see what they were up to.

He took them to the Tennessee Aquarium

Lupis pizza and Ben and Jerry's ice-cream

Hunter museum where they posed for pictures

When someone stops and takes the time to share a day, a moment

in time with your kids, it's a special thing.

And it reminds me to not take the friends in my life for granted.

Thanks Anna and Brock for loving our kids,
For sharing your home and your time.

July 2011

The color of our life..

2011-07-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

They took plain white shirts and colored them.

They made them the colors of a rainbow.

And then we hung them out to dry.

Who knew what their shirt would look like,

until you took all the rubber bands off

and the colors revealed themselves.

Each one different.

Like each child in my home.

Different.

But uniquely them.... made by God.

Each one beautiful.

As I walk through my day with them I pray that I enjoy

the beauty that makes them..

Them.

Her Shoes

2011-06-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

If I ever forget how small she is, I turn around

and look at her feet.

Her little flowered shoes and mismatched socks

remind me of her littleness.

She sits behind me and she fits there for now.

I know one day these shoes will be lost in the city

of shoe land where all my children's shoes seem

to go. They never stay around long. They dissappear

in the night or on a road trip or simply somewhere

in the big red van. Never to be seen again.

It's a reminder that she too is growing and every

new pair of shoes that I buy is one step closer

to her being big enough to one day walk

away and start her own family.

I hope these little flowered ones stay around

a while though..I love this stage of camping out,

hair a tangled mess, (thumb-sucking still) little girl

that is a joy and delight.

Yeah! I hope these shoes hang around a while.

A day in the life of my girls

2011-06-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

We cook and around here, we cook alot.

I'm thankful for the counter that holds them.

I'm thankful for Taylor who teaches.

I'm thankful for the hours I have training up

my girls. It's constant and it's new every single

day but it's my mission field and although the heat

of Africa can't touch me here I'm nonetheless living out

a mission.

A mission of Motherhood

We had a tea party today and the girls learned to hold their tea cups

and sit quietly while I read them a story.

Why is this important to me?

Because when we go to church they need to know

what I mean when I put my fingeres to my lips and say, "shhhhhhh".

Training for Sundays start on Mondays.
It's an all week process.

These fleeting moments are way too short.

Sleeping in school

2011-06-22T15:51:00.000-07:00

A great part of homeschooling is that I get to be with my kids, homeschool my kids,

and watch my kids sleep while I'm teaching them.

I wonder what public school teachers would do?

I personally knew that my boy needed a nap and

so what if he decided to nap during school time? I smiled as

I read to the others. I thought how cute he looked.

See, I can think these things when I homeschool.

I don't have to get all worked up.

I wasn't about to wake him.

We just kept right on going.

And he kept right on sleeping. The beauty

of homeschooling is that I see his beauty

even when he is asleep. Even when it's in my classroom.

Sleep well little Jo boy, one day

your kids will laugh at this.

Train up your children while they are young

2011-06-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

I recently read this advice from a man named Richard Baxter. He lived around the 1600s and this is his advice to parents regarding work and children:

"Train up your children in a life of diligence and labor, and do not accustom them

to ease and idleness when they are young.

Many children are taught no calling, nor exercised in any employment,

but only such as is fit for nothing but ornament and recreation at the best.

Recreation should have but a small proportion of their time.

By the sin of their parents, many are early engaged in a life of idleness, which afterward

is almost impossible for them to overcome.

They are taught to live like swine or vermin-which live only to live,

and do small good in the world by living.

They rise, and dress, and adorn themselves, and go to dinner, and thence to cards (or PlayStation or xbox) or chat (txt) and idle talk. Then to supper, and to chat again, and then to bed.

This is the lamentable life of too many who have great obligations to God.

Richard Baxter

Work, it's a good thing..

a very good thing.

Let the stealer steal no more, but rather let him do hard work, doing with his hands what is good work, that he may have something to distribute to someone in need. - Ephesians 4:28

Memories on a road trip

2011-06-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

Riding the road to Chattanooga to catch up with

friends lead them down a busy day.

1. Lupi's Pizza Factory

2. The Tennessee Aquarium

3. The Chattanooga Ducks

4. The Terminal

5. The Cupcake Factory

6. and to visit with friends....

It lead them to the chattanooga cup cake factory

where the cupcakes were so big you

couldn't eat it all.

I can't imagine.

Heavily armed with the remains of her cupcake

and too much Dr. Pepper..

My best friend in the whole world and her hubby,

Brock and Anna

thanks for taking that drive

and thanks for the memories

she'll never forget.

2011

sometimes a girl just has to do it.

2011-06-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

Look into the bottom of an ice-cream box

and eat every single bite and not feel the least

bit guilty.

You can do this when you're 5.

Why so down cast?

2011-06-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

He awoke with the sun still low on the east side of the house.

It was early, too early for him.

The sun shining her rays on his sleepy head. She was waking him

up slowly as he was waiting on his daily bread, revealing

his grumpiness at my table.

Grumpiness as he was being warmed by the very arms of God.

It didn't last long. God awoke in him his love for the day and

it wasn't long before he was up running and playing and singing

and laughing...

God had used His creation to bring the joy into Cullen's morning.

How often has He given me this same gift.

The sun in my kitchen.

The clothes on the line.

The kittens on my back porch.

The smile on my daughters face.

The water being used in my front yard

to cool my children.

The smell of supper cooking.
The feel of my loving husband's arms around me.

The hay being gathered in our pasture.

The sounds of that mean old rooster in the hen house.

The grumpiness is there some mornings,

but if I ever give over to all the gifts

that surround me, it flees and I'm left

standing in a puddle of God's love.

...no, swimming in it ...

The old man by the sea

2011-06-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

I was sitting there thinking and looking out into the waters that held

a few of my children when I heard a noise coming from behind me.

I turned to see a husband and wife carrying a small fragile

old man in a sun chair to the waters edge.

He was not healthy, this I could tell right off.

He was frail and very sick. His face looked sad and weathered.
His body barely able to keep it's position...
and I wondered about him and his life
before things got like this.

I wondered what he was thinking.

I could see them fussing over him. Making

sure his hat was on his head. Making sure he was sitting

up in his chair but he didn't seem to notice

any of it. His gaze was fixed to the sea.

His eyes never leaving whatever it was
he was fixed on.

What I didn't notice right off was the way his

feet lay in the sand and the water rolled

over them time and time again as

being washed by some invisible hand.

My tears started flowing because I imagined the Lord

coming to him and washing his tired old feet on the

beautiful ocean floor. Time and time again the water

gently rolled over his old bones.I walked over not really wanting to interrupt but

just wanting to take a picture for them and I heard his story

and right there in front of strangers, I sobbed.

I cried for him.

I cried for Sherry who lost Tom.

I cried for the day when

this would happen to us all.

His wife, the love of his life whom he lived with for 50 years

died two weeks earlier and they said he was depressed so they

brought him out to the ocean and the waves hoping that it would

make him feel better somehow.

I kept watching the water roll over his feet.

My mind mingling with the thoughts of my heart

that the Lord was washing this mans feet

and encouraging him to keep running his race.

The race the Lord put in front of him.

Yes, the race was hard but the Lord would renew his strength

even now. He kept looking forward, looking off

into the depths, and I had to wonder

if he was talking to the Lord, if he was questioning or if he was begging

for the Lord to bring him home.

How many times had he swam here

or ran down these white foamy pastures?

How many times had the ocean been his rescue?

How many times had his feet hit these waters?

Now he's old and now he sits, he runs no more

he swims no more, but he just sits in a chair

and he gets to look at the beauty before him.

Silent not a word

is spoken.

He's taking it all in maybe for the last time

and everyone there knows it.

Our lives are but a vapor. Is this our last time to take

in the beauty around us? Are we looking and not speaking

a word? Are we talking to our God and thanking him

for our race even though it's hard sometimes.

Live today as if...this could be your last

Watch them sleep

2011-05-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

"The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done alittle less." author un-none

memorize their smile

Today enjoy them, breathe them in and remember that this

moment in time will pass.

Take lots of pictures, write down your memories

and don't get caught up in just doing the next thing.

Do this moment well ...

Getting lost in the waters

2011-05-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

I can hear the sounds of the waves as my family runs along her borders.

She, the ocean, is almost talking to me as each wave makes its way closer and closer.

The Sheshels as Channie calls them can be found everywhere along her front yard.

They bring the ocean's gifts to me as I sit and wonder and am in awe at her beauty.

We're all together here and the real world seems so far away.

For right now the ocean is doing her job, covering us with the undeserved joy of

"forgetfulness"

The father of my children and the man I share my life with

is busy about his real work building high castles in the sand, holding the hands of little

ones who haven't decided if the waves scare them or delight them.

It really doesn't matter, he is there, whichever way they decide.

Taylor pulling brothers on boogie boards as she borrows the oceans floor.

Tucker always on "watch" as he stands on her front porch.

The ocean lets us borrow her for the hours, days that we're here

and my mind mentally taking pictures of their feet in her surf.

The way she brings out their play,

and the way their shadows look on her floor reminds

me to play more and watch more because their

shadows are getting bigger.

and she reminds me to watch his smile as she leans heavy into him.

because one day the waves will never make him

go Crazy like they do when he's 6..

This one moment in time when the ocean helps you forget

all that's not right..

Your thoughts drowned out by the sound of the crashing of her doors.

You lose yourself.

You laugh

and

cry.

I open her gift slowly and I take her waters and they

flood me and cleanse me and renew me.

I'm thankful for this time that I have to remember the people

who God wants me to enjoy and delight in.

He knows how worked up we all get

but the ocean reminds you to slow down,

and remember who the Redeemer is.

Who taught the moon where to stand till evening.

Who told the ocean she could only come this far?

My redeemer

and

My redeemer lives.

St Augustine, Florida

May 2011

Warming up

2011-05-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

Their feet have barely touched the ground. They have "us" and their need for others is, and has been, very small. This weekend they actually slid their way down and their feet touched the ground at our church. It seemed almost strange to me to see them walking around the church family we love so much. They belong and they are loved here and to see them running and laughing and giving Mr. Jeff high fives and Elder Keith hugs made my heart do little flips. I don't want to let them down, out of the safety of our arms until they're ready and for a brief ten mins this weekend they flew....Scott and I got to watch them and we looked at each other and smiled, our arms strangely light with them not in them. It wasn't long though until they found their way back to us and found their way back to their daddy and felt the safety of his arms...and they slept.

The Lord has been so gracious to us.

Giving us the pleasure of raising these two

beautiful girls. A little shy, a little spoilt,

a lot loved and we're soaking in every

day with them and remembering that God is so good.

The sweet smell of honeysuckle on the farm

2011-05-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

The smell of the honeysuckle hits you hard here on the farm. The flowering bush is all around me. The smell drawing me closer until at last I have pulled one of the kids down to the edge and showed them how to drink the honeysuckle juice. God always provides ways we can be thankful for small things like the smell of honeysuckles and little farm girls who love putting on daddy's hat. It's been a slow start to our summer here. With the devastation of the high winds it's almost as if your own life is put on hold because your heart is so heavy for your friends. There seems to almost be a standing still of time that is so slight that you can't put your finger on it but as we know time does not still herself. The weeds are still coming up in my little box gardens and the sun blanket is covering the farm, the heat already has the kids eating Popsicles, and begging to go swimming, time goes on. The clock always giving her minutes away and the honeysuckle blooms, and as I look out across our land I see it everywhere and I'm thankful for the routine of the Lord. The way He sets things in their time and how He knows that just a smell will remind me to look for Him and I do look. I know He is there. I see Him, I smell His love, I feel His presence and thus feel hope that He that can make the blooming honeysuckle can heal the broken hearted and continue to pour out grace and peace.

Romans 15v 13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy

and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may

overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit

Tom's spirit was caught..

2011-05-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

She stood silently crying at the Amish casket that held her beloved. Her "boss man", as

she lovingly called him. The tears were marked with such sadness but she leaned in close

as Cooper went to hug her and she looked at him and said,

"Coop, we will see him again"

The older ones holding on to the little ones.

A family who has lost everything and in the midst they cling

to the one thing their earthly father passed down that the tornado couldn't take away.

A heavenly Fathers love.

A heavenly Fathers purpose for such a time as this.

An earthly Fathers spirit.

Their father taught them how to stand.

They knew what he would expect and they did not fail

to show each and everyone of the thousand people there

that they caught their fathers spirit.

His finger prints are deeply embedded in each of his children..

the gentleness that marked Tom Lee

is also the gentleness that marks this Lee Family.

His wife, Sherry who lovingly rubs Judsons hair over

and over as he pulls at her skirt and she gently pulls

him closer to her, looking over at Tom just to make sure

she's not dreaming. Just to make sure this is all "real"

Her gentleness still intact, but her heart still clinging

to the unbelief of it all.

Friends and family pour into a service.

At least a thousand come to say good-bye.

One of our dear friends, Jeff Brodock,

was recognized at church by the whole

church body for his dedication to getting to our friends

the night the tornado happened. To say he is a hard worker

under stressful times would be an injustice of words.

It took three hours for Jeff to make a path to get to the Lees

but when he knew they were trapped, he would not stop.

( he would do no less for your family)

He got help to this family.

Thank you, Jeff for always being

the first on the scene and for always loving "our children"

and for all the times you've helped our family.

My dear friends and I all together at last since the tornado.

Kelly and her family lost their house but the Lord spared

every one of their 9 children. The Lord blessed them beyond words.

They are truly an example of holding open hands and saying,

"it's all yours Lord"...

Kathy is Jeff's wife and she should be a firefighter as well because

she was one of the first women on the scene. She drove into a disaster area

because our friends were there and she ended up at the Lee's house as well.

Emotions over take her if you bring up that night.

She recalls the kids all huddled up together in wet blankets.

Eyes staring up at her and each child standing that night
and thanking her for coming.

My church family never ceases to amaze me.

They are our family. Every man in our church

has taken off work, has helped carry the burden that each of these families

have had to walk under.
We are not alone during our difficult times,

the Lord provides a church family to drive into the darkness.
In the words of our Elder Ted Phillips, "When I drove into that dark valley, I knew I wasn't leaving without my family"

That's just what he did the night of the tornado.

He and his sons drove into the darkness of Shoal Creek Valley

and would not come out until the next morning and piled in

his eight passenger van were the Crawford family (10 people),

and the King family (6 people).
He would not leave them there though.

The oldest son of Tom Lee

Jordan Lee stood in front of the thousands of people
and said,

"The Lords gives and the Lord takes away..

Blessed be the name of the Lord."
"We do not ask why God took our Father we just Thank God
that He gave us a Godly Father for as long as He did."

While on a campout with the Lee's, I noticed him

sitting there. Looking into the fire. I noticed his boots.

Wet from the dew, a little worn but a "good worn."

A comfortable worn.

That was Tom Lee.

Good Bye Mr.Tom

2011-04-28T15:45:00.000-07:00

Saying Good-bye to Tom Lee..

Losing his life in a Tornado, protecting his family.
This does not surprise those of us that knew him.
He was the protector of his family always.
He died laying his body
over his entire family last night in the deadly tornadoes
that ripped through our state.

We have traveled with this family on vacations and just two

weeks ago they sat around our table and we celebrated

the birthdays of Channie Mae and Judson.
We ate and laughed and thanked God for the blessings of children.

That's what you did when Tom was around.

You talked about the Lord and the blessing

of children.

He had 13.

He told Scott over dinner, "Scott, I've been praying God would see fit to give me 15 more years

so I can see Judson into manhood."

He also said "ya know, Judson still sleeps with me and Sherry."

"We don't mind, we love it.."

He lived.

He embraced the moments of this life with his family

and with his children. He invested himself.

He adored and loved his wife

and we're so proud to call him friend.

We will miss you Mr. Tom, we'll miss your straw hat,

your baseball hats, and all the many ways

you Glorified the Lord. .

There is no reason to look back:
We know the Lord escorted you into heaven
saying..
Well done my Faithful servant
Well done..
No regrets.

"Surprised By Joy"

2011-04-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

Surprised by their color against white t-shirts.

Surprised by brothers love.

The yard, "their turf" and their room is always

a mess but these two can always be found even

in the mess of the every day. When things are crazy,

when things are busy, my boys are there in the middle

of it all and I'm surprised that it brings me so much joy

seeing these two lean into my car window as I'm about

to drive away. Standing on the edge, leaning in, giving me one

last kiss. One last kiss before they grow into men and I have

no more little guys that hang on my car and beg me not to leave.

One last kiss..

it's always the best.

I lean toward them and hold on hard.

Never being the first to let go.

Always remembering the "clock" that is always

ticking my time away.

Trying to remember to not let this moment pass as in a blur

but to look, really look, at these two.

These two bring me Joy.

So by the words of C.S Lewis, I'm always surprised by Joy.

God given and mama receiving Joy.

Unwrapping Heaven....one day at a time.

2011-04-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

I try and remember the day she was born and the memories come.

Scott so nervous that he was about to meet his baby daughter for

the first time and when their eyes met he cried.

Wrapped in a pink blanket, we couldn't keep our eyes still.

She was a gift to us and we knew she was.

Our lives changed...

Forever

Heaven met us that day and the glimpse was,
and still is, a sense of awe.

Beautiful she has always been

but that has never defined who she truly is.

Who God has put into her to be.

A woman that loves the Lord and is always so thankful

for the day to day ways of life.

Clothes blowing in the wind and her skirt

as she hangs out those clothes for our family,

The food that she prepares and presents at our table

is amazing.

The way she loves her daddy and still calls him

daddy.

The way she wraps her arms around me in the middle of

the day and tells me how thankful she is that I'm her mom.

Oh, I grab her and tell her that no she is the gift

and for 18 yeas I have had the privilege of slowly

unwrapping heaven right here in my home.
The way she loves her brothers and sisters
and if she loves you, you will know
Because she Loves big.

She had an amazing birthday... in her own

words,

"This has been the best birthday of my life"

Dinner with dear friends

Birthday wishes from all her friends

and staying up late to enjoy the moon...

It was a memorable day indeed.

Happy 18th Birthday Tay
We Love you..

April 19th, 2011